


Do You Remember?

by Sakumira_Agashi



Category: Baldi's Basics (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Age Difference, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Sad, Sad and Sweet, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Step-parents, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 56,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21604078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakumira_Agashi/pseuds/Sakumira_Agashi
Summary: Having passed the entrance exam into a well-known high school, April had no other choice but to move to a city miles away from home. It wouldn't have been so bad if her only parent hadn't been an abusive step-mother who only cared about her achievements.Forced to say goodbye to her good friends and neighbors, she had to try and fit in everything that is completely unfamiliar to her - new city, new people, new enviroment, and it's a fact that no one knows what would happen. But what she didn't expect was an encounter with a man, a certain teacher that could flip her life upside down.
Relationships: Baldi & Protagonist (Baldi's Basics), Baldi (Baldi's Basics)/Original Character(s), Baldi/Protagonist (Baldi's Basics)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30
Collections: Baldi FAN FICTIONS FOR LIFE!





	1. Different

_Do I really belong here?_

I asked myself as I stood in front of my new school, The Thing High school, with its name written in gold letters on the front.

Usually, when someone just passed an entrance exam to the school they wanted, they would feel proud of themselves. But at this very moment, I couldn't feel any pride or happiness. I felt embarrassment and guilt cluttering in my mind. I wasn't worthy of being this school's student. I wasn't supposed to pass the exam in the first place.

This tall building I was about to enter, it was the most recommended school for advanced learning. Only the students with straight As were confident enough to compete and try to win a place at this school, so I was sure there was no hope for me, who was already struggling to get a B or C. I wouldn't have even thought of applying for this school if it hadn't been for my step-mother, whom I always had mixed feelings whenever I thought of her. She made me mad every time she came to my mind, but I was also scared of her. When she was told that I failed to get into a similar school in our hometown, she wasn't afraid to let out the most cruel insults that anyone could ever imagine, saying that I was "the worst of failures". But then, she wasn't the one to give up her pride that easily, so after a year, she forced me to apply for this school. Knowing that there was no point in protesting, I unwillingly accepted, even if it frightened me that the school was over three hundred miles away from where I was living.

How did I manage to pass the exam, you ask? Well, being a "dumb girl" that I was, I couldn't get here by a normal mean.

In other words, I cheated.

How I got away with it, I had no idea, but it wasn't what I cared about. After the day I received a letter of acceptance, my mother was basically jumping in joy and went to every nook and cranny of our neighborhood to boast about it. It was absolutely _sickening_ that she told everyone about how she was always there for me, how she had to stay up every night because she couldn't bear seeing her daughter lose sleep. Lies. She wasn't proud of me. She was only proud of her own self. She just cared for achievements and perfect she said was a _damn lie,_ but I just sealed my mouth was a relief that I passed, so maybe I should just appreciate that fact rather than ruining it.

Taking a deep breath, I gripped my backpack and placed my first step into this school. Seeing the groups of students and hearing their happy chatters reminded me greatly of the old times. Last year, on this very day, I was still walking side by side with my friends, telling each other about the adventures we had during summer break. But now, here I was, alone in the sea of people. The beautiful nature was usually my source of comfort, but hearing the rustling of the leaves right now just seemed to make me feel more lonely. Such drastic change almost made me cry, but I quickly tried to hold back the tears. It was my first day of school in a new city, so I couldn't afford to let anyone see my pathetic crying face.

After looking at the school map at the main entrance, I got a good grip of where the staff room was and was now in front of it. I straightened up myself, holding my right hand up and knocked on the door three times. Right after then, a very familiar voice spoke up from inside the room.

"Come in."

Ah, the principle with his unique, monochrome voice. I entered the room and he was already standing right in front of you in a gray dress shirt, which was worn underneath a gray sweatshirt with lighter stripes, blue jeans and black dress shoes. I met him a few days ago, when I came to school with my step-mother to discuss about the fee, the schedule, etcetera… But that day, at the exact moment when I stepped into his office, his face scared the ghost out of me.

I wasn't saying that he was the ugliest person ever existed on Earth, or that he had a nightmarish, scary face-

…

Okay, that last part was the case. He _did_ look scary.

At the first glance, he looked pretty normal. Slightly tan skin, short dark hair, broad shoulder… Everything about him looked fine until I looked at his face, or his eyes in particular. Both his pupils and eye whites were black – well, in this case, they wouldn't be called eyes whites anymore. They looked… hollow, like a deep void without an end to it. The more I looked into them, the more I felt the chill crawling up my spine.

His eyes already scared me enough, and his voice weren't helping. The first "Come in" he said when my mother knocked on the door wasn't enough to make me realize it until a few moments later. His voice was monochrome without any emphasize to it. Every word that came out of his mouth had the exact same tone, like a voice of a robot. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me for a moment.

Despite all that, my fear toward him lessened when my mother and I actually sat down and talked to him for a while. Although I thought that he was a little too extra, like when he told us that breaking the school rules would get me into detention, he seemed pretty nice in general. So now I could stand in front of him and talked normally without backing away or trying to keep distant.

"You're the transfer student the other day, right?"

"Yes, I am, mister."

Hearing the answer he expected, he nodded and extended his hand to me, signaling me to take it, which I did.

"Welcome to The Thing High school, April Clover." He shook hands with me, giving me a greeting.

"Thank you, mister." I smiled, trying to be polite back.

He gave me the school map and introduced me to my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Robin. Her friendliness made all the tension in me melt away, but they returned as soon as I closed the door behind me. The moment I was in the hallway again, I felt the nervousness creeping up on me again. I still had one more challenge to face before finally deciding if I could survive the first day, and that challenge was to meet my new classmates. I had sworn to myself to try my hardest and make a good impression with them and maybe making some new friends along the way. But at the back of my mind, there was still something I worried about, which was the fear of being bullied. I'd heard stories about students getting bullied when some of their classmates found out that they came from a smaller, faraway area, so now I was scared that I would have to eventually face it one day.

That thought haunted me as I headed to my classroom, homeroom 99.

* * *

Well, this hadn't been bad so far.

When I first entered the classroom, everyone was indeed staring at me and I internally _begged_ them to stop. But then, they were nice enough to welcome me in with a genuine smile. Sitting at my seat, which was at the right corner of the classroom, I was greeted by three students: Allen, a boy with light chestnut brown hair; Hannah, who was apparently very good at Biology, and Jessie, who was clearly interested in photography. I got to know their hobbies and interests from when they were asked what they had done in summer. Hearing everyone's stories made me… envy them. Even if they were those people who just lay at home when summer came, they still at least enjoy their time. I, on the other hand, couldn't even have one single day off and had to spend time with books and assignments instead.

If I counted the names correctly, my class had 32 students, about what I expected. Just after she finished, the bell rang, signaling that homeroom session was over. Mrs. Robin left the room for a while to report my class's attendance and returned a few seconds later, telling us that the first period had begun. Well, I didn't know if I should call it a "period", since Hannah told me that on the first day, all classes would have 15 minutes each teachers to meet their students and go through some rules, just like how my old high school did. Mrs. Robin did exactly that, telling us about how she wanted the class to behave and how the class's grades should look like at the end of the school year. I also found out that she taught Biology, and her rules were quite simple. We all were expected not to make too much noises in class, to complete our homework, be polite to everyone and get grades no lower than D.

I met two more teachers in the next two periods, one taught P.E and the other taught Chemistry. Like most of the students in my class, I liked the P.E teacher for who he was. He was in his mid 40s, but he was still a very chilled man who liked to act cool all the time and was still very energetic. The Chemistry teacher was about in his late 20s, a little grumpy and kind of strict about how we should behave to him. But he actually cared a lot for his students and knew a lot in his field. According to Jessie, he knew more than what was written in the textbook, so he usually had many interesting unmentioned facts to tell the class, to engage the students into the lessons and help them understand better, thus making them remember their lessons longer.

The second and third period went through smoothly. But then came the fourth period…

After the third period, we had a 5-minute passing time. I guessed that it was the first day, so it wasn't as long as the usual 10-minute passing time. As I was chatting with Jessie, Allen and Hannah, someone slammed the door open, making most of the students jump in surprise. We all looked at the door, and saw that the said student was out of breath with lots of sweats on her face, keeping one hand on the door while putting the other hand on her chest, trying to calm her heart down.

"What the hell was that for, Ann?!" One student sitting at the front said. "I'm sure my soul just left me a moment ago! Ya trying to kill me or something?!"

"J- James, look… I'm v- very sorry to y- you, as well as anyone i- in class right now, b- but- but this is _urgent!"_ The girl could barely talk, every breath that she just got back was all spent to form every word. "So, I just went t- to the bathroom a moment ago, and when I w- was heading down the hallway back to our class, I s- saw…"

"Saw what, Ann?" The girl sitting in front of me said worriedly.

"I saw- saw-" She stumbled even more, seemingly trying to remember something. "Urg! I- I forgot his name, but it was our bald Math teacher from last year!"

The whole class gasped, but Allen just gave her a long, blank and unimpressed stare.

"Ann…" Allen spoke up immediately after the gasping had stopped. "If you can remember that he's bald, then I guarantee you that you can remember his name using _just_ a tiny amount of effort."

Ann stared into the air for a few seconds before snapping her fingers. "Oh right, I remember now!"

Allen face-palmed. Hard.

"And here I am, thinking that _no one_ could _possibly_ forget his _fucking_ name." He said out loud, sliding his hand down his face slowly.

"B- But that's not important right now!" Ann said right after. "He's heading to our class right now! Everyone, prepare yourselves!"

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about him until now!" One girl said quietly, her voice full of fear.

"I'm totally the opposite." Another girl said. "He's so nightmarish that I literally could not forget him _at all!_ "

"Sit still and stay silent, everyone! He's gonna notice if we're too loud."

"Allen, watch your mouth, alright?" Hannah said, reaching her hand up to Allen.

"I already told myself the exact thing." Allen replied, moving his hand across his mouth in a zipping motion.

I looked around as my class changed 180 degrees. Every single student in the room was practically freaking out, but none dared leave their seat. All the happiness and energy they had were all gone in seconds. I freaked out as well, not understanding what was going on.

"J- Jessie! What is happeni-"

I turned my head toward Jessie, but before I could finish my sentence, she cut me off by putting a finger over my lips.

"Shh, do _not_ muster a word, okay? I'll explain later."

She immediately straightened up her poster as I heard the door opening and came in a fair-skinned, dark-eyed man who was extremely tall, about six feet or taller. The very first thing I noticed was his bald head with just a single strand of hair sticking out. He wore a white dress shirt underneath a green, V-necked, long-sleeved sweater, a black tie tucked underneath the sweater, black pants and black dress shoes. A black messenger bag was swung from one of his shoulders to across his torso, and in his hand was a long, yellow ruler.

I looked down at my hands, my body suddenly freezing. I suddenly felt… something, something so familiar, but also so foreign that I couldn't even remember a tiny bit of it. It frustrated me, but I decided to stop thinking about it when he started talking.

"Summer's over, eh?" His voice was surprisingly very low, giving me the chills. "I bet you all are still hoping that it would last longer, right? I'm not gonna lie, but I'm tired of returning here, too. Oh well, time's up means time's up, you can only decide if you had fun while it lasted."

The classroom was literally _dead silent,_ and I didn't like it. I suddenly realized that I missed the energetic atmosphere that had been here almost an hour ago. The teacher just talked for a very short moment, but it felt like eternity because no one was talking, not even a word, so I didn't dare say anything, although I desperately wanted the silence to end as soon as possible. He stopped for a few seconds to scan his eyes around the classroom and let out a long, tiring sigh as he crossed his arms.

"Alright, I heard that your class have a new student, am I correct?"

My heart skipped a beat. Oh right, I totally forgot about this whole "new student's introduction" thing. And that scared me to no end when I suddenly realized that I was supposed to stand up and talk to him _myself._ Everyone looking at me, giving me the face which told me that they feared for my life. I exchanged glances at them, sweats starting to run down my face.

"Come on now, hurry up, I don't have all day. I'm sure I'm not mistaken that a transfer student just got into this class." He urged, looking at the area where I wasn't sitting.

At that moment, I knew there was no other way to avoid this.

Gulping hard, I took all the courage I had in me, pushing myself up with my hands in a swift motion, wasting no time at all.

"It's me, mister."

Hearing my voice and the chair move from my movement, he turned his head back to me. I looked straight at his face, feeling my heartbeat quicken in a matter of seconds. I bit my lips, expecting him to give me a bored or cold expression, but what happened next was far from my expectation.

As soon as he made eye contact with me, his eyes widened and his mouth was slightly agape. I didn't know if my eyes was tricking me, but I was sure that his body was noticeably shaking to the point that he nearly dropped the ruler he had been holding tightly in his hand. I felt like he really wanted to say something but was completely unable to. His mouth kept opening and closing, as if words were stuck on the tip of his tongue, and all that came out of his mouth was small, mumbling, meaningless sound. Then, out of the blue, he took a small step back, like he was keeping himself from falling, one hand put on his left chest where his heart was located. And I _swore_ I saw him breathing very heavily.

"M- Mister-"

I reached out one hand and was about to ask if he was okay. But he cut me off immediately, straightening up his posture.

"It's nothing, really n- nothing. J- just ignore that." He coughed as he put his fist in front of his mouth, the other hand holding his ruler and staying behind his back. "What's your name?"

"M- My name is- is April, April Clover."

He froze, looking away for a few more seconds before speaking up again.

"My name is Baldimore, but you can call me Mr. Baldi for short, and I'll be your Math teacher." His serious expression returned. "I'll have you know that I follow rules strictly to every bit, and you're expected to do the same when you're in my class. But…" He trailed off for a few seconds. "Since you're new here, I'll be easier on you for a while, so that you can get used to how I work."

"T- Thank you, Mr. Baldi."

" _But…_ " He suddenly emphasized the word in an even lower voice, making me jump. "Rules are still rules. If you take advantage of this and break the rules, there will be serious consequences. Got it?"

"Yes, Mr. Baldi."

"Good. You may sit down now, April."

"Thank you, mister."

I sat down, letting out a long, relieved sigh. I couldn't believe I had managed to survive that successfully, and I felt proud of myself. Allen was also happy for me, turning his head back slightly and gave me a thumbs-up while Jessie and Hannah looked over me and smiled.


	2. Lunchtime Talk

After my short but… interesting small talk with Mr. Baldi, he went through the rules with my class, just like other teachers did. And I realized that when he said he followed rules very strictly, he wasn't joking or exaggerating. Since the very first year I started your student life, I'd met many strict teachers, and I was sure that everyone else had met teachers like that at least once, because it was simply unavoidable.

But this teacher… he himself and his rules were way beyond "strict".

He wanted every student in his class to not say a single word for an _entire period_ unless he instructed them to answer question or do other related things. He told us to always finish homework _properly,_ and by "properly", he meant that our notebooks must be clean, our writing must be readable, and the homework itself must have acceptable solutions and clear answers, not some crappy filler answer just for show. I did think that it was understandable, because I knew teachers usually got really annoyed when their students just wrote in a few words, didn't care if the answers were correct and said that they finished their homework. But the part that I was afraid of the most was that… he expected us to get at least B on _every single exam_ he gave us.

That literally scared me to no end.

I didn't hate Math, but I couldn't say that I was an expert at Math either.

...

Okay, I lied. I hated Math.

In fact, one of the subjects that I had troubles with the most was Math, and I'd started struggling with it even more since grade 9. I felt like for every higher grade, Math got ten times harder. I did get Bs on Math before, but they were… occasional and rare, and Cs was usually the grade I got on that said subject. Now he wanted a B on every Math exam and expected _me_ to pull it off?!

Well, that could only mean staying up until two in the morning for a week straight with coffee lying across my desk when it was Math exam time.

* * *

"Well, I look forward to working with you in my class. Does anyone else have any more questions?"

Hearing no answer, our History teacher clapped her hands together.

"Alright, class dismissed!"

She packed her things as the whole class walked out of the classroom. The bell just rang, and by looking at the clock on the wall, I saw that it was half past twelve, so that meant it was lunch time. Along with my classmates, I headed to the cafeteria by using my map. Eventually, I reached the cafeteria and found out that it was already packed, although it was just a few minutes since the bell rang. Making my way through the room while trying not to bump into anyone, I managed to get my lunch which consisted of an egg sandwich, some slices of strawberries and apples, and a small box of orange juice. I turned myself around and walked forward a few steps, scanning the room to see if there was any empty table.

"Yo, over here!"

Hearing the familiar voice, I turned to its direction and saw Allen waving his hand at me. Jessie and Hannah were also there, sitting at the same spot and across the table from Allen. I smiled in relief, walking up to them and taking a seat next to Allen.

"You three really are close, huh?" I said, picking up my sandwich. "I always see you together."

"I think it's… common sense." Hannah said, taking a bite out of a slice of apple. "You know that feeling? When you sit near someone on your first day at school, and then you want to be with that person more often because you simply just feel comfortable when you're around someone you actually sit right next to."

"Yeah, I think that maybe is the case. We sat near each other, at that exact spot when we first entered this high school, and it's just stayed that way ever since." Jessie followed before taking a small sip from her juice box.

"Man, I can't believe it was a year ago." Allen said, leaning against his chair.

We all stopped talking to focus on our food for a short while before Jessie perked her head up and spoke up again. "So… Have you decided which class should you major in this year?"

"Well..." Allen looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds, trailing off as he thought. "I'm still going to major in P.E. In fact, I've decided to major in P.E all the way until I graduate college. But the one thing that changed was the dream job I want." He straightened up his back to grab his juice and continued. "I first wanted to be a sport manager, but now I want to be a P.E teacher instead. Teaching little kids around my neighborhood made me realize that being a teacher might be more fun."

"Well, sport is always one of your top priorities, so I'm not surprised." Hannah smiled.

"What about you, Hannah?" Jessie turned toward the brown-haired girl.

"Me?" Hannah pointed a finger to herself. "I'm going to focus on biology like always, because I'm still interested in becoming a biologist."

"Following your original dream, eh?" Allen said.

"Yeah, there's still so much more interesting things nature has to offer, and I want to find out every little secret it holds." Hannah then turned toward Jessie. "What do you want to focus on, Jessie?"

Jessie hummed at the question. "I want to be a professional photographer, so I think I'm going to major in photography art and computer skills. My parents said that my photos are very good, so they also thought it would be a suitable career for me."

"Hmm… Yeah, the photos you took really are beautiful. You're basically our class's photographer right now." Allen paused for a while before turning toward you. "And hey, what about you, April?"

"H- Huh?"

"What do you want to do when you graduate?" He asked, putting his juice box back onto his tray.

"Uh…" I trailed off for a few seconds. "I want to be an… economist."

"An economist?"

"Y- Yeah, I'm interested in that career, and my m- mother also supported my idea, so that's my goal."

"Hey, that's very cool, actuall-" The smile on Allen's face soon faded as soon as it came. "Wait wait wait, hold on. Does that mean… _you have to major in Mr. Baldi's class?!_ "

"Uh… yeah, because Math is one of the main courses that are required for my dream career." I fiddled with my fingers as I averted my gaze for a split second.

"Oh god…" Allen sweated, putting one hand onto my shoulder. "Hey, I don't want to scare you, but… you ought to be _extremely_ careful in his class."

"W- Why?" I asked nervously.

"April, Allen's right. Mr. Baldi might seem like those typical strict teacher, but believe me, he's _way_ more than that." Hannah said, her voice was filled with fear. "When you actually get to know him or be around him for a long while, you'll realize that he always gives out a… very creepy and dangerous vibe."

"Creepy and… dangerous vibe?" I repeated Hannah's word, raising my eyebrow a little bit.

"That's exactly why our class freaked out a while ago, remember? Well, besides the fact that he's unforgiving toward students, of course." Jessie rested her chin on her hand, sighing. "And that's also exactly why I try to stay away from him as much as possible. I only take his class when it's a compulsory Math period or I need to get a high grade from his class for certain reasons."

Jessie trailed off before speaking up again. "And apparently, he's considered to be the best, most trusted teacher by the faculty and most of the parents. Because beside his… uh… _"excellent and professional"_ teaching skills, he also has great hearing to the point that he can hear sounds miles away and even knows who made that sound."

"And he can catch a student who is cheating on their exam just by listening to how they breathe alone!" Allen added.

I gulped, sweats starting to run down my face rapidly. At first, I felt very guilty for lying to them. I never wanted to be an economist in the first place and I actually wanted to become an animal breeder, because I loved animals as much as I loved nature. But when I told my step-mother my future goal, she immediately rejected my idea, saying that my dream job wouldn't give me any benefits or money at all. So instead, she forced me to agree to her and become an economist, because it was one of the most high-paying jobs, and she said that she simply "wanted the best" for me, that it was for my "own good". I knew I had no chance in winning the argument like always, so I gave up on my dream entirely. And to start off, my mother already decided that Math, Statistics and Economic courses would be my main majors, and those three courses were the ones I wasn't even interested in one bit. I felt frustrated at that time, but now there was another emotion I felt, and that was the fear for my life. Majoring in Math meant majoring in Mr. Baldi's class. And after hearing all the things my friends warned me about him, I didn't know if I even dared get near him anymore.

Just as I thought it couldn't worse, it did indeed get worse.

"But hey, don't you find him a little… strange today?" Hannah's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Like what?" Jessie asked.

"He said he would be easier on our new friend April right here. And he's never said that to anyone, even if it's a group of grade 9 students who just got into this school, like us last year!"

"And there's one more important thing!" Allen said, slamming his hands onto the table. "He _stuttered!_ "

"Y- yeah, that too!" Hannah exclaimed right after.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you all." Jessie joined in. "It's very weird indeed, considering how he never stutters in his _goddamn life_ and always says that stuttering is for the weak."

"Maybe he's… learning how to be a human again?" Allen trailed off. "I mean, he just freaking said he would be easy on April, so that must be it, right?!"

"Y- yeah…"

A long silence came after Jessie's one single word.

"That teacher…" Jessie's voice broke the silence. "To be honest, I always find him very… weird, aside from his nearly bald head and the creepy vibe he has. I heard that he once had very high standards before, too. He used to force students to get an A on every exam, but due to the parents' complaints, he was told to lower his standards down."

"Hmm… I think he's weird too. I also heard that he doesn't have a wife yet, and he hasn't even got himself a girlfriend either!" Allen said out loud after gulping down the last drop of his orange juice.

"How old is he again?" Hannah asked, putting one finger onto her lips.

"No one knows his exact age, but he once said that he was in his mid 20s." Allen paused for a while. "Goddamn, he's in his mid 20s and he hasn't got a girlfriend yet?"

"Maybe he just… broke up with his girlfriend?" Jessie assumed.

"Or maybe he just doesn't want to get married." Hannah said right after Jessie. "Some people can either decide to get married or only focus on their job because they think a marriage life isn't necessary. But a man in his mid 20s is still pretty young, so we don't know for sure."

"That's true… You do have a point there, Hannah." Jessie rubbed his chin. "Seriously though, who the hell wants to date a creep like him, let alone marries him?!"

"E- _Excuse me?!_ " Allen pushed his body forward, gripping the table edge before raising his hands upward. "Are you saying that nearly half of the girls in this school _don't_ want to fuck him?!"

I nearly choked on my orange juice, as well as Hannah with her strawberry slice.

"P- Pardon me?!" Jessie exclaimed, raising her eyebrow.

"I repeat, nearly half of the girls in this school _**want to fuck him.**_ I repeat-"

"A- Allen!" I put one hand on his arm. "Don't you think you should… quiet down?"

"… Yeah." Hannah looked around to check if anyone was looking at the four of us with a weirded-out stare. And thankfully, no one did.

"Okay okay, real talk dude, real talk!" Jessie tapped the table, catching my and the other two's attention. "What in the goddamn hell did you just say?"

"I can't believe you didn't know this." Allen sighed. "There are a lot of girls here who are horny for him, and that's basically the gist of it."

I and the other two girls just gave him a long, deadpan stare.

"What?"

And that was what all three of us girls said to Allen.

"What?!" Allen answered right after. "Do you think I'm joking here? I mean, I like to joke a lot, but not at this moment, alright?"

"So… you're saying that there are girls who are… romantically attracted to Mr. Baldi?" Hannah asked with a tone that said she had a lot of questions in her mind.

"Not just romantically, but sexually as well!" Allen exclaimed. "Like I just repeated many times just now, about 40 percent of the girls who attend this school have their eyes on him. They either just keep their feelings to themselves, or straight up sexually flirt with him. You still remember that girl Erin who was in the same advanced Biology class as you last year? She said that she would bed 'a mid 20s but hot, fuckable guy like him'."

I was flinching at Allen's words the whole time. I didn't mind cursing, I myself cursed sometimes too. But there was something about his choice of words that made it sound a little… blunt? Well, he was wearing a hoodie that had the word "swag" printed in white capitalized letters, after all.

…

Well, to be honest, maybe I was just thinking nonsense, because I wasn't even half sure if being blunt and the word "swag" had anything in common at all.

"I… I didn't know this…" Hannah's voice sounded so quiet. "I'm… actually surprised."

"Exactly. I was surprised to find out that forsaken fact as well, but… oh well. I'm just glad that the girls I'm close to aren't like that."

The entire time, Jessie was staring into nowhere for a good long while before pointing a finger upward, finally speaking up.

"I've officially lost faith in humanity."


	3. Even More Friends

"Seriously, this just gets weirder and weirder." I said.

"You're right." Allen nodded in agreement. "But anyway, remember what I said, okay? Be extremely careful in his class!"

"Gotcha." I nodded, letting out a sigh.

"Hey, I gotta go now." Allen said, picking up his tray and standing up. "I've got to meet up with the guys in my group for a sec, just to discuss our soccer practice. After that, how about we get some fresh air at the courtyard later?"

"Sounds great." Jessie followed suit, picking up her tray as well. "Right, Hannah?"

Hannah stood up like the other two. "Yeah. I'd like some warm sunlight right now. What about you, April?"

I nodded when Hannah asked. "I'll be right after you guys. I gotta go to the bathroom first."

"Okay, then we'll be waiting for you and Allen at the courtyard."

After putting our food trays back, Jessie and Hannah went to a different direction, as well as Allen, leaving me alone there. I walked down the hallway, trying to find the bathroom myself because I was sure it was nearby, which means I didn't really need the map. I felt pretty awkward again when those three weren't around anymore, but I told myself that it would be okay and I should probably get used to it, because they wouldn't always be nearby. Eventually, I saw the bathroom doors a few feet away from me, so I knew that I was there.

But as I proceeded to head there…

" _GOTTA SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP."_

… I heard a voice.

A very loud, robotic and demonic voice, actually.

Just like any other human beings, I shielded my ears away from the ear-raping voice with my hands. Before I could even react or see who it was, they bumped into me and sent me falling backward. I yelped, my back and head hitting the wall, and I groaned at the pain, rubbing my head when it started to throb. As I managed to push myself off the wall with my other hand, I heard the voice again, but this time it was lower than its original volume.

" _Oh god, are you okay there, kid?"_

I was able to identify that it was a male voice. "I'm- I'm okay sir-"

I wasn't able to finish my own sentence when I actually looked at the person who said that. Actually, it wasn't a person in the first place.

It. Was. A. Freaking. _Broom._

Yes, that might sound ridiculous and made people think that I was high on drugs, but it was in fact a talking broom in front of my very eyes, and I stared at it in pure shock. It was a little taller than a normal broom with short black and green bristles, its handle had a piece of yellow tape wrapped around in the middle and had two smaller pieces of tapes on it, one was red and the other was white. I was speechless for a few seconds that felt like an eternity. Like, was this some kind of newly invented, high-tech broom that could actually talk like a normal human? If that was the case, then science must have gone too far, I thought.

" _Hey kid, are you really okay?"_

Its voice pulled me back into reality.

"Um- uh, y- yeah! I'm fine, I'm fine!" I stumbled a lot with your words, trying not to sound surprised or unintentionally rude. It could talk like a human, so it must have feelings too, right?

" _Phew, thought that ya bumped your head and got hurt that badly. Sorry, didn't see ya there."_

"It's really fine, sir. It's nothing serious."

" _Well, that's good to know. I gotta go now because LOOKS LIKE IT'S SWEEPIN' TIME!"_

In a matter of second, it had already turned around and ran down the hall at lightning speed. I just stood there, pinching my cheek to check if I was dreaming. I found out that I wasn't dreaming, and I didn't know if I should feel relieved or not. Because if I hadn't had been dreaming, then it would have meant it hadn't had happened in real life at all. But if I wasn't, then that was indeed real.

I indeed just talked to a broom.

…

_What?_

* * *

I managed to get to the courtyard and found that there had been plenty of students there. I looked around for a few seconds and spotted my three new friends sitting at a table nearby.

"Oh, you're here, April!" Jessie greeted as I sat down next to her. She then gave me a can of soda. "I and Hannah just bought some drinks for all of us. This is yours."

"O- Oh, thank you. But…" took the can hesitantly. "You didn't really need to…"

"Hey, don't you dare act all formal and modest with us, April!" Allen reached his arm to me and patted my shoulder. "You're new here, and that's exactly why we should make you feel welcomed."

"That's right." Hannah smiled. "Just be comfortable, okay?"

"Thanks." I smiled, looking at the can before taking a sip. BSoda, huh? I'd never heard of this brand before, so it must be new.

"Aahhhh…" Jessie let out a sigh, leaning against the bench and looking up at the sky. "The weather's nice today, isn't it?"

"It sure is." Allen said before taking a sip out of his own can. "Hmm… a picnic would be so great under this nice sky-"

" _I am coming; ready or not, here I come."_

"The fuck-"

Allen's unfinished compliment about the weather was turned into a swearing in a matter of second by an unknown person. Well, to think about it, I didn't think it was a person because they had a very robotic voice.

Oh god, another talking, animated object?

"1st prize!"

Hannah exclaimed happily as something ran toward her. I looked at its direction and saw that it was a robot with… very strange design. It had a turquoise gym cage as its body on caterpillar wheels. It had fair skin, a round head, round hand with round fingers, and black, long, sharp, pointy pupils that could stab me if I wasn't careful. The thing that I noticed the most was the big red heart inside its body and three wires that connected it to its head.

Well, no matter how weird it looked, I was just glad that it was a robot. Because a talking robot was normal, but a talking unanimated object like that broom was _not_ normal for me.

"You scared me, little buddy." Allen smiled as he calmed his heart down.

Hannah chuckled, petting its head. "You poor little thing. I bet you were lonely during summer, huh?"

"Um… who's… this robot?" I turned toward Jessie, who also seemed very happy to see the robot.

"Oh, this cinnamon roll is 1st Prize. He's a robot that won the first prize at the Science Fair, hence its name." Jessie chuckled. "Yeah, a pretty dumb origin for a name, I know. But that's one of his unique things. He's adorable regardless."

I raised an eyebrow. "Adorable…?"

"Yeah, I'm not kidding, girl!" She beamed. "Try holding him and he'll react in a way that will make you remember him forever."

"You wanna try, April? Here."

Hannah let go of the robot and walked away, sitting down at my spot after I had scooted over to her previous one. The little robot seemed to panic at the loss of Hannah's company, repeating _"I have lost you, I don't like that"_ a few times. I was a little afraid, hesitantly reaching my hand toward him and patted his head. He stopped talking for a while at the sudden touch, but yelled excitedly right after.

" _I see you! Friend!"_

He rushed over, hugging mr tightly with his big hands. He snuggled into my body for a long while, and he seemed like he wasn't going to let go of me soon. Seeing the little guy so happy made me feel… warm inside, somehow. This was like the most heartwarming and comforting hug I'd had for such a long while now, and I suddenly missed the feeling it gave me. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a hug like this, or whom I shared it with. The memories were so distant and far away, but I somehow felt like that person was very close by…

" _I hug people for all eternity."_

I chuckled happily. "I'm glad you do, little guy."

"So he's here with you all? No wonder I heard someone familiar."

"Aah!"

I yelped and jumped in pure surprise at the sudden male voice, like my other three friends. I knew it wasn't Allen voice, so it must have been someone else. And indeed, it was someone else, someone my friends had been warning me about a few minutes ago in the cafeteria. When I looked up, I saw a tall man looming over my small body, covering me with his shadow, and that man was none other than Mr. Baldi himself.

"Mr. Baldi, what the- I mean, good afternoon Mr. Baldi!" I stumbled over my words. The others also quickly greeted him, Jessie elbowing Allen, telling him to do the same.

"Good afternoon, everyone." He greeted me back. "Having fun with 1st prize huh, April?"

"Um… Y- Yes, Mr. Baldi." I tried to speak properly.

"This robot was made by a student from our school a few years ago, so the principal's kept it here ever since, saying that it would amuse the students. I'm never really fond of it though."

"W- Why aren't you fond of him, mister?" I didn't know why I asked back, because I _never_ intended on continuing this conversation any further.

"He's a real bother when I'm trying to do my work. He sometimes just keeps talking non-stop."

"Well, I'm different from you then, mister." I returned my attention back to the little robot, who was still snuggling up against my body. "He's so sweet. I just met him a few seconds ago, and I already love him."

I didn't hear any reply, but I felt like someone was staring at me. When I became too uncomfortable with that feeling, I looked up again to see that my Math teacher was staring down at me. Unconsciously, I stared back up at him, straight into his dark eyes while he did the same, staring right at my eyes as well. The eye contact lasted a few more seconds and neither of us mustered a word or did anything other than stared into each other's eyes. His cold look sent a chill down my spine, but my heart… my heart… it was fluttering, and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"Mis- Mister Baldi…" I mumbled unconsciously. "W- What-"

"Class's about to start again soon. You should hurry up if you don't want to be late."

Those were his last words before he hurriedly walked away, far into the distant. All I could do was followed his sight with my eyes and asked myself hundred of questions about what just happened. My heartbeat still remained the same, beating rapidly and eventually slowing down to its normal pace.

"Where did he even come from?" Allen asked after a good few minutes of silence, making sure that Mr. Baldi was very far away, having walked up the stairs and completely out of sight.

"I don't know, but I think the more appropriate question is 'What the heck was that about?'"

"You're right, Jessie." Hannah said, her voice was shaking a little bit. "M- Mr. Baldi was j- just staring at April, and I w- was scared for her the whole time!"

"Damn, me too!" Allen exclaimed. "I feared that he was gonna hit her with that ruler, although she did _nothing_ wrong."

"But… it's alright now, so we really shouldn't worry anymore."

The other two nodded, agreeing with Jessie's words. They then told me once more that it was okay and carried on chatting like normal. I joined the conversation as well, but I kept repeating in your head the questions that would possibly never have an answer to them.

My heart was acting very weird while that happened, and I didn't know why. Maybe because I was too anxious to be near Mr. Baldi, but there might have been something else that I was not getting. I also felt something else too, something very familiar, just like the feeling I had when I first saw the Math teacher in question…

I felt like I was missing something very important, something very dear to my heart…


	4. First Class (Part I)

I quietly walked down the busy street, looking down at my feet most of the time, hearing my own footsteps among the others' chatters and the sound of the cars' engines. The last bell of the day had rung, signaling the end of the first day of school. Joining the crowd, I also headed home.

Hannah had gotten onto the school bus to get home, since her house was pretty far away. I walked with Allen and Jessie a bit before they both parted to their own ways, so now I was all alone on the street among the sea of people, just like this morning.

Looking down at the pavement, I could see people all walking past me. I knew I could be annoying some people for walking so damn slowly and getting in their way, but I didn't care at all. I didn't care if I was walking so slow that I could be compared to a turtle, I just didn't give a damn about it. It was my own choice to walk this slowly, I did it on purpose. I even feared walking so quickly when my three new friends were still around, but I couldn't let them see your fear. If they had seen it, they would have questioned me, and I never wanted to tell anyone my reason.

I had been always scared of my own house, the place that had finally come into view.

As I proceeded to walk to the front door, the eerie atmosphere made me shiver. I'd always had this feeling whenever I came home, but I could never get used to it. People always say "Home Sweet Home", but… I never loved my home. There was no love and care in my house. I could never get used to coming back home without feeling the cold shiver up my spine. I hated that feeling, I absolutely hated it, but I didn't know what to do. I always told myself that when I turned 18, I'd immediately move out. But the more I think about it, the more I felt insecure about that decision. If I wanted to move out without depending on my mother, I would have to work extremely hard to save money and survive on my own with that amount of money. I was unsure if you'd be able to do that.

I held the doorknob, my hand ran cold as soon as it made contact with the smooth and icy surface. I took a deep breath, turned it and entered the house. The silence of the house greeted me immediately, and I didn't know if I should be relieved or disappointed.

Whenever I came home, especially from school, and didn't see my mother, I would feel a little relieved. I felt pushed and uncomfortable upon being questioned about how I was doing at school or if I got the result on any of your exams. Although a lot of teenagers went through this, I would be lying if I said my situation was the same. Most parents asked their children about school work because they cared for their children, or they just wanted to start a conversation. But I was pretty sure my step-mother asked me not because she cared for me, she just cared about my achievements, so that she could boast about it to other parents. So coming home without being pressured was quite a relief for me.

But on the inside, I did feel quite sad. Although it might sound hopeless, every time I came home, I would hope to hear my mother's voice in a genuinely caring way, to be comfortable at the dinner table without any uncomfortable silence or unwanted questions. But I knew my dream would never come true, so the only thing I could do was to wait and dream in hopelessness.

I came into the kitchen and, surprise surprise, there was a note on the fridge.

" _I'm coming home late tonight, so cook your own meal and don't wait for me."_

I opened the fridge to find some pork, some cabbages, a tomato, and I knew there were some packages of instant noodles that my mother just bought a few days ago.

Stir-fried noodles with pork and vegetables, I figured.

* * *

Plopping onto my bed, I let out a tired sigh. After going back to school, I once again found the happiness of changing into a comfortable T-shirt and shorts as I laid on my bed. There was obviously no homework and my mother wouldn't come home until about 11 at night, so I had the house all to myself. Maybe I should play some video games.

As I sat up, I thought about today. I personally thought I did pretty well on my first day at my new school because, well, there were no embarrassing or awkward moments, which was one of my biggest achievements.

I really couldn't deny that today was quite fun. I managed to find places on my own and make a good impression on my teachers and classmates. I made three new friends who seemed honest and genuine. I met a talking broom and a cute little robot. I managed to talk to my teachers without any awkward moments.

…

Wow, I couldn't believe all of that happened on just the first day.

Before going to the computer to play games, I walked to your desk to see which class I was going to take the next day to prepare my backpack beforehand. I groaned as I saw two Math periods right in front of my eyes.

...

Math…

My Math teacher… Why did I remember him the most? That moment when we made eye contact still left me in confusion. I seriously couldn't understand why that happened. I knew nothing about him. Nothing at all! I did nothing wrong, and it was the first time I'd met him! It was my first day!

But... the butterflies in my stomach... I couldn't deny that they were there.

* * *

"'Morning, girl!"

Stepping into my homeroom, I smiled as I heard the familiar voice of Allen greeting me. I walked to your seat, nodding to my three friends.

"Good morning, April sweetie! Welcome to the beginning of despair!" Jessie stood up, wrapped her arm around my shoulder and exclaimed in a cheery voice. But upon hearing her words, I could clearly see her sarcasm and chuckled at it.

"Yep! It's the beginning of hell alright!" Allen joined in with an upbeat tone.

"Haha, I'm not great at sarcasm, but I can feel you two." Hannah chuckled lightly.

"Well, not in Biology of course." Allen raised his voice and rolled his eyes. "You always say you must get better at it, but you always get above B. Every. Single. _Time._ "

"But do you know that I always wish I were godly at PE, like you?!" Hannah elbowed him.

"Guys…" I spoke up. "You all have your special ability, let's just settle on that note, okay?"

"Hmm… Yeah. But it's fair that PE is so freaking hard!"

Jessie looked away as she hummed, and right at that moment, the bell rang, ending our conversation.

* * *

"So… which class are you taking? The first period of the year, I mean." Hannah asked as we all stood up at the sound of the bell which signaled that homeroom session was over.

"… Math." I mumbled.

"Really?!" Allen said in disbelief. "It's your first period at this school, and you chose to take his class? For god's sake…"

"W- Well… My mother kind of wanted me to major in Math, like I told you…"

Hannah sighed as she put her hand on my shoulder. "Look, just… be careful, alright?"

I nodded as I gazed back at them.

They all had that worried look on their faces.

_**To be continued…** _


	5. First Class (Part II)

"Let's see… Mr. Baldi's class…"

My eyes scanned the map as my legs kept on moving forward. I saw students entering their desired classroom one by one, leaving me and just about ten other students remaining on the hallway. I'd already located the floor I needed to be on, which was the second floor, the floor I'd reached. Now, I just need to go a bit further… just a few more steps and… look to the right.

My destination was right in front of my eyes as soon as I turned my head. I could clearly the familiar wooden door with the words "Mr. Baldimore" in capitals. i gulped and took all the courage I had to grip the doorknob and-

"Oh, you're going to his class as well?"

An unfamiliar voice made me jump in pure surprise. It wasn't helping that my heart was already beating fast due to the pressure I was feeling. It was a boy's voice, but it wasn't Allen's. And even if it had been his voice, I was sure that it wouldn't have been him who said that, because he already said that he was going to a different class. Plus, he had sworn that he would never ever go to Mr. Baldi's class for the first period of the new school year.

I swung my head back in one swift move to see who was standing behind me, and my heart was calmed down when I see a friendly smile on his face. His hand went through his golden locks as his amber eyes beamed brightly behind his black pair of glasses. He was dressed in a short-sleeved shirt with red and black checkered pattern, blue jeans and white sneakers.

"Oh sorry, did I scare you?" He spoke up upon seeing my motionless body.

"Oh, umm… n- no." I stuttered upon seeing someone I didn't know. "I'm just… surprised."

"So sorry for that." He chuckled, looking away as he scratched his neck. "I'm just surprised to see you and want to say hi."

"Surprised?"

"Yeah, because I rarely see a girl coming to this classroom. I actually thought you were heading somewhere else." He paused for a while before speaking up again. "I don't think I've seen you before. You're new here?"

"Yes, I am. I actually just moved to this city, so I had to change school as well." I said. "My name is, uh, April Clover, and I'm from homeroom 99."

"So you're a transfer student? Cool!" He smiled. "I'm Maxwell Parker, homeroom 82. Nice to meet you!"

He extended his hand, signaling me to take it. I hesitated for a while because I felt a little shy, but I overcame my awkwardness and took his hand.

"Nice to meet you too, Maxwell."

"No need for formalities! Just Max is fine. I hope we'll get along well." He paused again for a few seconds before speaking up again. "Class about to start. Let's go, shall we?"

Hearing him say that, I suddenly remembered what I came here for, and shivered in fear again. He held the doorknob and swung it open without any hesitation. As soon as we entered the classroom, many pairs of eyes were focused on us.

"Ey, it's the teacher's pet!" One boy said loudly.

"Not just any teacher's pet, but _Mr. Baldi's_." A student sitting nearby added.

"Haha, glad to see you guys again, too."

Max chuckled, taking what the students said as a greeting. I figured that he was super good at Math for others to say that. Well, to be honest, from the first glance, he did look smart. But upon realizing his ability, I suddenly felt shiver crawling up my spine. If he was that good at Math to be called "Mr. Baldi's pet" while Mr. Baldi was supposedly very strict, then… could I even survive on MY own with your weak Math skill? Heck, I almost got an F on my Math final last year. _Almost._

"Hey Max." One boy spoke up, and Max turned to look at him. "I didn't remember seeing that girl in our class last year."

"Umm… I- I'm new." I mumbled just enough for him to hear.

"Oh…" That student said. "Well, nice to meet you! We barely have any girl in this class."

"Hey, I'm right here, you know!" The girl sitting next to him said.

Now that he mentioned it, I realized there were very few girls here, about 5 or 6 of them, and most of them are boys. Knowing this made you feel very awkward.

You secretly questioned about it though, because according to Allen, tons of girls were romantically attracted to Mr. Baldi. So, I expected to see many girls in his class, at least half of the classroom. Then why were there just a few here?

"Hey, where do you want to sit?" Max turned toward me.

"H- huh?" His words snapped me out of my thoughts. "Um… I'll be fine with the… last row-"

I cut myself off when I looked at the end of the class.

Every single seat was taken.

"…I'm afraid you might have to sit somewhere at the front, new girl." A boy sitting nearby spoke up as I became speechless. "Everyone is scared of having to sit at the front, so they all went here very early just so they could get the seats at the end. Max is the only one here who could sit at the front."

"Yeah, he sits there like a boss." A girl said. "Hell, he's so fucking calm that it's unbelievable."

They continued to exchange small talks with each other, and I just stood there motionlessly.

The thought of having to sit there near my Math teacher just gave me chills all over my body.

' _When you actually get to know him or be around him for a long while, you'll realize that he always gives out a… very creepy and dangerous vibe.'_

' _And he can catch a student who is cheating on their exam just by listening to how they breathe alone!'_

My friends' words from yesterday rung inside my head, making me sweat like a waterfall and my heart beat rapidly.

This was the end of my life _for sure._

"H- Hey, are you alright there?"

Max lightly elbowed me, bringing me back to reality.

"H-Huh?"

"You've been just standing there for a few minutes. You feeling okay?"

"Y- Yeah, of course!" I stuttered. "I'm- uh- perfectly fine! Y- Yeah! I'm fine!"

Max stared at me for a while before patting your shoulder. "Hey, don't worry. You don't have to sit at the front. I'm sure there are still some empty seats behind the first row."

"I… I don't know, Max." I mumbled.

"Is the second row okay with you?" A dark-haired boy said, catching your attention. "You can sit at this row if you're scared of sitting at the front one."

"I think it's a good idea too." Max added. "The second row isn't really far from the front, but it's still better, right?"

After some times thinking, I nodded and sat next to the dark-haired boy at the second row. It was the last seat of the row, and the other five students sitting in that same row were all male. I just sat there silently as Max went up to the front row and chose a seat in front of me, which I was grateful for. I'd feel super awkward without him around, just like how I felt without Jessie, Hannah and Allen nearby.

"Hey there." The dark-haired boy turned toward you and smiled. "I'm Oliver Price, homeroom 86. You?"

I told Oliver my name and happily introduced myself as a new student. Oliver, just like Max, was very friendly and made me feel very comfortable. He had dark skin and a pair of bright blue eyes. He was dressed very casually in just a simple dark-blue T-shirt, black jeans and sandals.

Unfortunately, the sound of the door opening interrupted our conversation. Everyone, including us, immediately straightened ourselves as the expected bald teacher entered the classroom. I spotted his familiar serious posture and expression as he put his bag onto the teacher desk, preparing his tools. He then looked up and scanned the entire class.

"Long time no see, you all." He said without any kind of excitement in his tone. His voice was almost monochrome.

"It's nice to see each other again, right teach?" Max happily spoke up. Just like what that girl said a while ago, there seemed to be no fear in him. He was just talking oh so casually.

"It's _Mr. Baldi,_ Maxwell." The teacher glanced at Max as he corrected him.

"Oh come on, mister. Lighten up!" Max laughed lightly. "And just Max is fine! I've told you that so many times now."

Mr. Baldi just kept glancing at Max and let out a sigh. "Gosh, you're still as obnoxious as I remembered."

"Well… at least it proves that your memory is still good, right?" Max held up his hands and shrugged as he spoke in a pretty sarcastic way.

Mr. Baldi narrowed his eyes and he stayed silent until a few seconds later. "You're lucky you're my best student, or else I'd have put you on my blacklist ages ago."

Max was the opposite to the rest of the class. Very clearly and literally, actually. While Max was just having a normal and casual conversation with Mr. Baldi, the whole class was _dead silent,_ exactly like a graveyard at night (pun not intended). All they did were fiddling with their fingers and looked down at their desk. As for me, I feared for Max's life, as well as mine. The way Max just nonchalantly talked to the infamous teacher just scared me to no end. What if he made the teacher so angry that he'd literally kill him?

And why did I fear for my life, you asked? Well, it should be obvious by now. Looking at the rest of the class, no one dared unzip their mouth. That was enough to tell me that I was screwed, and you'd have to endure everything from this teacher until the day I graduated, which was still two years away.

"Oh, I almost forgot! We've got a new student!"

Max's words made me snap out of my thoughts and I looked at him in disbelief.

Did he-

Did he really _just_ sell you out like that?

"Max, you _idiot._ " I heard Oliver mumbled very quietly besides me. I figured that we shared the same thought.

"Hmm? A new student?" Mr. Baldi's tone changed slightly. " _Finally_ , you said something that actually caught my interest. Where are they sitting at?"

"Right behind me, mister."

Mr. Baldi moved his gaze to my seat, and we made eye contact once again. He looked right into my eyes, narrowing his own. His expression seemed so calm, but also… mysterious and deep at the same time. I could feel my own body shaking, my heart beating rapidly. It was partly because of the pressure I was feeling, but it was also the butterflies in my stomach that were making me feel this way. This moment was exactly the same as when I and he made eye contact at the courtyard the day before. I secretly questioned why he kept looking at me this way. I was sure I had done nothing wrong to anger him in any way. Whenever we looked deeply into each other's eyes, I always felt like he was planning something. Was it something good or bad, I didn't really care. All I wanted was that it didn't have anything to do me.

…

What was I saying? If he always had that look when he looked at me, then of _freaking_ course it had something to do with me!

"So we met again, April." He mentioned my name, making me jump lightly. "A transfer student, homeroom 99, if I remember correctly?"

"Y- Yes, that's right, Mr. Baldi." I mumbled just enough for him to hear.

"Honestly, I was surprised to see another girl here, especially you." He said, still keeping his eyes on me. "You… don't look like the type to take my class."

"W- Well, I- I need to major in your class for the c- career I'm after, so…" I trailed off, not having anything else to say. I'd always been bad at lying to begin with.

The teacher paused for a short while before speaking up again. "Well, I hope we'll have a good time working together."

"So do I, mister."

"Okay class, open your textbook on page 3. We're gonna start our first lesson."

He put his hand into his bag and pulled out his book as he removed his gaze away from me, which made me let out a sigh of relief…

"Like last year, you'd _better_ study hard, or _else._ "

… but it looked like he wasn't going to let me sit there in peace.

* * *

"Okay, that's the basis of the algebraic expression." Mr. Baldi said as he finished writing the last word on the board and turned his head back to look at the class. "It's quite similar to what you've learned from grade 9, so it'll be pretty easy for you to catch up… if you still remember what you learned from last year of course, which I doubt any of you still do."

"Hey, don't underestimate me like that!" Max exclaimed. "I revise my lessons very well!"

"Whatever you say, kiddo." Mr. Baldi crossed his arms with the book still in his hand as he glanced at Max.

"It's Max!"

Mr. Baldi looked at him for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and let out a tired sigh. He then straightened himself and chose to completely ignore Max.

"Okay, do any of you have any questions?"

As I expected, no one answered. Just pure silence. Usually, I'd see some students yawn, but not in his class, apparently.

"Good." Mr. Baldi said blankly, understanding that no student would even be interested in hearing his lecture any longer. "I'll take it as everyone has understood the lesson. So now we're going to solve some math proble-"

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period. I secretly let out a sigh, because I didn't have to sit here in fear of being asked to solve the proble-

Oh wait, in my schedule, the two Math periods are period one and two.

And it was period one that just ended.


	6. Scared

"Max! I can't believe you're that carefree!"

Max widened his eyes at Oliver's statement. He leaned backward, letting his back hit the chair as Oliver leaned forward to him. Max seemed surprised.

"W- What, mate?" From Max's tone, you could tell that he was genuinely confused. "I don't understand what you're saying."

Oliver firmly put his hands on Max's desk. "How could you just introduce April to Mr. Baldi like that?!"

"W- Why are you m- mad at me?" Max stuttered. "I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"

"Because you defeated the purpose of letting her sit somewhere that isn't the front row!" Oliver exclaimed. "She doesn't want to sit at the first row because she's scared of getting noticed by Mr. Baldi! But then you just bluntly said 'Hey, there's a new student over here'!"

Max stayed silent for a few seconds for his brain to finish loading before letting out a small "Oh".

Oliver face-palmed. Hard.

"Well, I guess they're right when they say nobody's perfect." Oliver looked like he was done. "Max, you're bright when it comes to homework, but you're not that bright when it comes to situations like that."

Max just chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck.

"I- It's really okay, don't worry." I spoke up. "I'll get used to this soon… hopefully."

"Yeah, I hope so, too." Oliver looked over me and sighed. "Honestly, it's nice having you here, but… why got yourself into this trouble in the first place?"

I didn't really know how to answer that question. As I fiddled with my fingers, the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the second period.

"I have to leave for my Chemistry class now." Oliver went back to his desk to pick up his stuff. "Which class are you taking next?"

"Math." I answered shortly. "I'm staying here."

"Oh gosh. Two Math classes in a row?" He looked worried. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

"It'll be fine, dude!" Max beamed. "Because I'll be here with her!"

Oliver took a quick glance at him before talking to me again, completely ignoring the blond boy. "Just be careful, okay?"

"I- I'll remember that. See you, Oliver."

I said and waved at him as he walked to the door with some other students. He waved back at me before going through the door and disappeared from my sight. My heartbeat increased again, and I put one hand over my chest to calm it down. My nervousness was showing, and I didn't like it. If my anxiety took over, I wouldn't be able to study properly anymore, and all I could do was to worry.

I saw a few students leaving earlier, when period one just ended, but I didn't see anyone new entering. The whole classroom felt even emptier. Mr. Baldi returned, and the whole class got silent.

"Hmm…" Mr. Baldi's eyes scanned the whole class. "It seemed like the class is a bit emptier than before. Did anyone new come here?"

"No, Mr. Baldi." Max answered. "Some of them left, but no one new came."

"So all of these students have been here since period one?"

"Yes."

"Okay then…" He put his bag onto his desk. "We just learned algebraic last period, right? Let's solve some problems to test how you much you understand the lesson."

I sweated like a waterfall. The entire room was silent, and only the sound of the marker was heard. As Mr. Baldi moved the marker on the board, I got more nervous each time I heard the sound of the marker tapping as each letter and number appeared on the board. It scared me to no end because I didn't know how to solve _any_ of these problems. I did listen to the teacher's lecture carefully and paid close attention to the lesson, but these problems didn't look like they could be called "basic" at all.

"Okay." As the teacher finished writing, he turned his body 180 degrees with a straight posture and looked at the whole class. "Who volunteers to solve the first problem?"

"Me! Me!" Max shot his hand right up, beaming excitedly. I didn't really found it surprising that he volunteered.

Mr. Baldi hesitated for a while before extending his hand, offering the marker to Max. "Alright, Max it is."

Max happily took the marker and ran up to the board. My eyes followed him, and I was dumbfounded. Your classmates weren't lying when they said that Max was the teacher's pet. As soon as the marker touched the board, series of numbers and symbols appeared in a speedy flow, and Max wasted no second thinking of what to write next. It was like from the moment Mr. Baldi finished writing the problem on the board, Max had already had the problem solved in his head within seconds. He really was incredible, and I couldn't help but gasp as I observed his movements. In seconds, the answer was revealed, and Max stepped aside, dusting his hands as he admired his handy work.

"Thank you, you can return to your seat now."

Mr. Baldi said, and Max walked back to his desk. The bald teacher scanned his eyes up and down to get the overall look of Max's work and check the final answer. It seemed like the answer was correct, because he picked up the marker and started tapping it beside each equal sign, checking if there was any mistake in Max's process. He was so careful that it scared me. It looked like he wouldn't dare let a single mistake slip away that easily. Everything must be perfect for a student to deserve that precious A from him.

"Well done, Maxwell. No mistake." Mr. Baldi turned to look at Max.

"Yay!" Max cheered happily.

Man, I wondered how childish this guy could get. It wasn't anything bad. It was pretty cute, actually.

"Okay, who volunteers to do this one?" The teacher tapped his knuckles under another problem which was already written next to the one Max did.

No one answered, except for Max, of course.

"No, Max." Mr. Baldi said, turning the blond boy's smile into a disappointed frown. "You're good already. I need someone else."

The teacher looked around the class for a while and the only silence replied to him. "Come on, this is the only chance that I'll let you volunteer."

Still no answer, and Mr. Baldi sighed.

"If no one's willing to solve it, then I'll pick a random student."

Oh god…

"Hmm…"

No no no no…

"How about…"

Please no please no please no please no-

"… the new student herself?"

My heart skipped a beat.

The time itself stopped going forward.

The world around me stopped moving.

I couldn't believe my ears anymore.

He.

Called.

_Me._

"… Her?"

Max slowly turned his head around to look at me, and I avoided his eyes by looking down at my hands, which were firmly placed on my knees.

"M- Mr. Baldi…" Max turned back to look at the teacher. "April, s- she's new here, so maybe-"

" _No._ " It was just one simple word, but it was the low, scary voice that shut Max right up. "I want to see how well she can perform."

Max opened up his mouth and slightly raised his finger up, seemingly wanting to say something. But he decided against it, and he put his hand onto his desk in silence. I couldn't blame him for acting like that. Whenever I was scolded by my step-mother, I just felt so helpless that I could do nothing but listen. I knew I'd never be able to win the argument.

Even though my eyes were glued to the ground, I could still felt Mr. Baldi's gaze focusing on me. That feeling… I could sense it again. I found myself questioning about it once more. I couldn't understand it. I absolutely couldn't. Why could I only feel it when he had his eyes on me? Why not anytime else? Just why? Without moving my head, I stole a glance at him. His expression was relaxed, but when I looked closely at his eyes, I could tell that he… was thinking of something. But what could it be? What could possibly on his mind?

"So?"

His voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I slowly looked up. Why? Why did he still have that look on his face? It was really making me nervous.

"… Y- Yes, Mr. Baldi."

I put my hands on your desk and pushed myself up from the chair. As I proceeded to walk to the board, I kept glancing between my teacher and the math problem. Mr. Baldi still had that relaxed look on his face, but there was something about him that made me shiver.

I picked up the marker and began writing. You looked at the problem for a while, and you felt a little relieved inside. Upon closer inspection, it didn't really look that difficult. Maybe I could actually do it! I wasn't sure if the answer was going to be correct, but at least I tried, right? So, with that determination, I picked up my pace and began writing a little faster, and each move of mine was confident. I knew exactly what I should write next, just like Max. Seemingly in no time at all, I felt that I was almost done as I moved my hand down to start another line with an equal sign-

…

Wait…

Why did I feel like there was something wrong?

I stopped for a few seconds to look at the line I previously wrote before gasping and widening your eyes.

I couldn't continue writing.

Because from the top to the bottom, the whole thing was wrong all this time, and I didn't even notice. The solution to the problem I had in your mind wasn't it. Now I didn't know what to write next.

I was stuck.

Maybe that… that was why it looked so easy before!

T- This wasn't supposed to happen! I almost made it. I was so close. I was so close to the answer! I almost made myself look smart in front of everyone! Why did it have to be like this? Why?!

"What's wrong?"

I jumped in surprise.

Oh no… It was him…

"Keep going, you're doing so well."

N… No…

I felt his footsteps getting louder as I gripped the marker harshly. I could feel it… His gaze was on my work, and then me. I bit my lips, waiting for my death to arrive. Yes, _death,_ because I felt like I could die at any second now. This was it, wasn't it? It was even scarier when I realized that I didn't know what he was going to do next. I could see the long ruler he was holding firmly in his hand, and I honestly didn't want to know what it'd be used for. I honestly didn't. My breath was heavy as my anxiety kicked in, and I could hear my own heart beating so loudly in my chest.

"What's the matter?"

I bit your lips even harder, not knowing how to answer that question.

He hadn't said anything in _ages._ Not even a single word. I could still feel it, his gaze on me. It was too much. It was really too much. I seriously hated the nervousness that was killing me oh so slowly right now. I wanted it to end. I wanted everything to end. But how? That was the question. I was just standing there in front of the class like an absolute joke. I felt dumb, and I knew that the whole class behind me was laughing at me right now. I never asked for this. I was never good at this. I got accepted into this school because I cheated, not because I was actually smart in the first place.

Please, just make everything _**end.**_

"Hmm…"

He was observing the board very carefully. He was looking at my process, I just knew it. I just stood there in silence, waiting for him to scold me. My heart beat faster and faster. The pressure was too much, and I wondered why I hadn't burst into tears yet.

While I was still deep in thoughts and fear, something suddenly reached out and touched my shoulder. And when that happened, I thought for a moment that my heart had completely stopped beating. I felt like everything stopped working actually, even the blood streams inside me. I snapped, completely forgetting everything else around me as I let out a yelp, moving myself backward and snatched the unknown thing off my shoulder. A small thud was heard as the marker left my hand and dropped onto the floor. I found myself breathing heavily as I scanned my eyes around.

But then I spotted it, and I froze in place, letting out a small gasp.

Mr. Baldi had his hand up in the air, so I figured that it was his hand that just touched my shoulder. But I no longer questioned about what just touched me anymore, because I… I spotted it. I saw it with my own eyes. His face… his eyes… He looked… hurt. There was pain, disappointment in his eyes. It was like my action just surprised him in a very painful way. But… why? I kept repeating that question in my head. What did I do to give him so much pain? Was it because I suddenly snapped like that? But… I didn't think it was the case. I was his student, and he was my teacher. Nothing more, nothing less. I doubted this hadn't happened to him before, considering how scary he was to his students and how there were also many more students with extreme anxiety problems, way worse than me. So why… did he look hurt? Why was it only to me that he was acting that way? Why not someone else?!

"I- I'm very sorry, Mr. Baldi!"

I crouched down to pick up the marker that I just dropped. But as I reached out to get it, I saw something else reaching out for it as well. It was another hand, and I touched it. I looked up and widened my eyes. Mr. Baldi had crouched down as well, and his hand was touching mine.

"A- Ah!"

I let out another yelp as I took my hand back, letting him pick up the marker. And there it was again, the hurtful look on his face. It really wasn't noticeable, but every time I looked into his eyes, I could see it clearly.

"I- I'm-"

"It's okay." He cut me off.

…

"… Huh?"

"I said that it's okay."

…

I'd officially lost my trust in reality.

What the heck was going on?! It was like the world was going against me. Nothing was as I expected.

…

Well, to think about it, the world had always been cruel to me and never gave me what I wanted. But still, my head hurt. I didn't understand _anything_ at all. When I expected kindness, I received pain. When I expected pain, I received kindness. Everything was the complete opposite to everything that was in my mind. Why did reality had to tease me like that?!

"T- Thank you, Mr. Baldi." I quietly mumbled as I took the marker from his hand. "I- I'm sorry for causing so much tr-"

"No need to apologize." He stood up, and I did the same. "You did nothing wrong, so why should you say sorry?"

I was speechless.

"Come on." He tapped his hand on the board. "Let's continue. I'll teach you how to do it."

As he explained to me the method of solving the problem, I secretly had a very hard time understanding this whole situation. I couldn't even understand my teacher himself. I always knew that no one could read others' mind, but I wanted to at least understand a little bit about him. To be completely honest, I understood nothing about him at all, not even a slightest bit. He was always scary and strict, but right now, he was being so… kind to me. His voice sounded so soft, and I felt warm beside him. Did I have a fever or something? Because this didn't seem right to me. Nothing felt right, actually. How did he change his mood so fast? It was very odd of him. But I couldn't deny that I kind of liked it. Sure, I did feel nervous every now and then, but I could still control it. His gentle words soothed my mind, and I no longer felt afraid.

A thought suddenly crossed my mind.

Why did this scene seem familiar?

"Okay, that's how you solve this problem, April." He said, pulling me back to reality. "Do you have any more questions?"

"N- No, Mr. Baldi." I said, trying not to stutter that much. "Thank you for helping me."

He nodded. "No need to thank me. You can go back to your seat now."

I hurriedly got back to my desk, letting out a sigh of relief. For the rest of the period, I just sat there, taking notes just like any other students, but my mind wasn't thinking about the lesson at all. You spent the whole time thinking about what just happened, and what it was all about.

* * *

That sound was finally heard, the sound that every student liked. Yes, it was the bell that signaled the end of another period. It was even better that we were supposed to have a 30-minute break before the third period. Mr. Baldi was just done giving the class homework, and he said out loud.

"Remember to do your homework, alright?"

"Yes, Mr. Baldi." The whole class said loud and clear in a perfect sync.

"Class dismissed."

Everyone started packing their things, including me. I secretly felt relieved and proud of myself. I survived _hell_ on my own. Sure, Max was there for me, but I couldn't deny that it was mainly my effort. I joined the students and headed to the door…

… until my name was heard behind me.

"April, could you come here for a second?"

Mr. Baldi asked as I turned around to face him. Damn it, just when I _almost_ got out. What was it that he wanted to meet me alone? Taking a deep breath, I slowly took each step forward until I was at the teacher's desk, standing next to him. He looked up at me as I spoke up.

"Y- Yes, Mr. Baldi?"

"Don't worry, it's nothing serious, but…" He said before trailing off, averting his gaze for a few seconds before returning back to me. "I noticed that you were extremely nervous when I called you to the board…"

I bit your lips as I gripped my things, holding them tight to my chest.

"You seemed very nervous, especially when you were stuck and didn't know how to solve the problem. Were you scared of me, or something else?"

I quietly shook my head. He seemed to catch on that I didn't want to answer his question in details, so he continued.

"You're new here, and I'm your teacher…" He said, seemingly trying to collect his words. "I just want to say that… whenever you have any troubles, don't be afraid to tell me, okay?"

Once again, I wasn't sure if I was hearing things right, but I had to accept that it was what I was hearing. Why was he being so caring to me? He slowly extended his hand to me, signaling me to take it. At first, I moved one hand to him, but then stopped midway when my hand was about to touch his. I felt… afraid, for some reason, and I took my hand back.

"Thank you, Mr. Baldi. I appreciate it."

He seemed disappointed that I withdrew my hand, but he just let out a small sigh.

"I'm… glad to hear that." He nodded. "You can go now. Have a nice day."

"H- Have a nice day too, Mr. Baldi."

I bowed down and hurriedly walked to the door. As I gripped the doorknob, I secretly stole a glance at him one last time before going outside, closing the door behind me.


	7. Just Another Normal Night

Another day at school ended just like usual. The hallway was filled with students by their lockers, taking their stuff while talking to their friends. I was the same, putting in my locker combination and getting my backpack with my friends by my side. My last period was Biology with Hannah, so I was seen with her when I got out of the classroom, gathering up with Jesse and Allen on our way to our lockers.

They all looked very tired after a long day of studying, but they seemed very happy and relieved when it was finally time to go home.

I was the same, except I wasn't exactly relieved. There was something that was still bothering me.

The scene from the second period had been stuck in my head for such a long time that I didn't even bother trying to forget it anymore. I couldn't get it out of my head, not even a slightest bit, and I hated it because it had been distracting me from everything for a whole day. I couldn't focus in class. I couldn't listen to the teachers' lecture. I couldn't take notes properly without missing something. I couldn't have lunch in peace. I couldn't have a normal conversation with my friends and classmates.

To sum up, my whole day was ruined just because of that single period.

I couldn't let it go. Until now, I could still feel the tension from when I was called to the white board. My whole body shivered just from thinking about it. I always have that huge fear whenever I was asked to answer a question or solve a problem, especially if I didn't know how. But even if I knew the answer, I'd still be scared when the entire class's attention was on me and me only. It was even worse when I had to solve a problem I wasn't familiar with while Mr. Baldi was right by my side. At that moment, I just wished that I'd had been able to disappear right there and then.

And that look when I snatched his hand away, and his unusual gentleness when he talked to me alone at the end of the period… Why did it hurt so much when I saw that pained look on his face? And why did it feel warm when he showed his care toward me? I needed answers. None of this made sense. It was like reality was trying to mess with my head.

I unconsciously rubbed my hand when I remembered the feeling when my and Mr. Baldi's hands touched as I bent down to pick up the fallen marker.

After Allen and Jessie had gone to the direction of their houses, I was left alone once again. I really didn't want to go back to that house, because I knew I'd just repeat the same old cycle again: go home, have dinner in an either silent or uncomfortable atmosphere, do homework and sleep. I wanted something different, something that would let me relax for a while, get back the positive energy before going home to face my internal problems again. But I was quite new to this town, despite having had moved here since summer, so I really didn't know where to go.

As I strolled a little further, I turned my head to my right when I noticed something from afar. My feet stopped for a second so that my eyes could look at it a bit closer. Across the street was a wide, spacious ground full of tall trees and grass. Had it always been there? It must be, and I just never cared enough to actually notice it. I was the type who didn't go out that often, or notice things that well.

Carefully crossing the street at the traffic light, I could fully take in the beauty of that place. It looked like a park, and along the pathways were beautifully blooming flowers, fresh green grass and benches. Tall trees were also there, making the air fresh and creating a calming sound when the wind made the leaves rustle. I immediately knew this was the place I was looking for when I felt the soothing atmosphere the first second I entered this place.

Taking a seat at the bench, I took in and let out a deep breath. It was almost three in the afternoon, and I could see people strolling through the park. Students were with their friends, and children were with their parents. I just sat there, quietly observing my surroundings. This was definitely where I could sit in peace and properly collect my thoughts. This entire day was really a mess, and a quiet time alone was what I needed...

* * *

A strong wind passed by, making million of leaves rustle loudly. I snapped out of my thoughts. It really startled me whenever a sudden loud noise came after a long silence. Looking around, I was still in the park at the same spot. It was still afternoon, but the color of the sky had changed slightly. The sunshine was gentler comparing to before, and the color has a reddish tint to it. I took out your phone, wondering how long it had been since I first came here.

My phone showed 15:41, which mean I'd been here for nearly an hour.

I didn't even realize that was actually how long I had been sitting at this very bench. Maybe I was so caught up in thinking about today that I forgot about time itself. I really couldn't help it, because the air here was so fresh and the atmosphere was so relaxing. If this had been my room rather than the park, then I'd have fallen asleep right there and then.

I figured that I should return home right then. My step-mother's shift ended at 5 PM, and dinner needed to be done before then.

* * *

"Welcome home, mother."

I said as I heard footsteps after the sound of the front door closing. I was in the kitchen, busy looking after the hot soup, but I didn't need to turn back to know it was my mother who just got home. But even if I had needed to look back, I wouldn't want to anyway, because I didn't like to make eye contact with her and make the air around my house awkward.

"Good afternoon, April." She said as she walked past the kitchen. "Making dinner, aren't you?"

"Yes, mother." I replied, tasting the soup. "You should change and rest. Dinner will be served soon."

And with that, she went up to her room. I let out a sigh as I turned off the stove and reached up the cupboards to get the bowls and plates. I felt tired, not physically but mentally. Being stuck under the same roof as that woman, I didn't know if this was really a normal atmosphere of a normal home anymore. I secretly wondered what it felt like to be with parents who actually cared for their children's well-being. I didn't know how it was like, but I was sure that it was way better than what I had been going through for years.

As I placed the plate of steaks onto the table, I heard my mother going downstairs. I took a deep breath as we sat down at the dinner table. The whole dining room was quiet, saved for the clanking sound of the chopsticks made on the bowls and plates, so I forced yourself to break the silence which was slowly killing me on the inside.

"So… how was today's work, mother?"

"Well, it was rather fine, saved for some annoying co-workers of mine who wouldn't stop complaining about their patients." She paused to finish chewing the steak before continuing. "Honestly, I don't know why they chose to be a doctor in the first place when they can't handle sick people."

We went silent again before she spoke up once more.

"How about you?"

"M- Me?" I stuttered as I was suddenly questioned. "W- well, the first day of school went… quite well. My teachers… they helped me a lot."

I stopped talking as memories of Mr. Baldi flooded back to me.

"That's good to hear then." She took a sip of the soup. "Today you have homework, right?"

"Y- Yes."

"Remember to do them before anything else, alright?" She said, eyes looking straight at me and my soul. "I expect good things this year. Remember, we don't move here for no reason."

"Understood, mother."

There she went again, talking on about how I should "study hard to achieve great things for my "future". I did try to study hard, to achieve great things. Except, it wasn't for your future, but her high expectations. I had heard those same words again, and again, and again, and they made me lose all hope every time. When would she finally accept that I had reached my limit? And when would she finally understand that if she wanted me to succeed in school, then she had to succeed in supporting me first?

* * *

Dinner soon ended, and I went up to my room, eyeing my backpack on the floor. I dragged myself to my backpack to take out my textbooks, notebooks and pencil case before sitting at my desk. I took out my pen, letting out a tired sigh as I scanned my eyes across my desk.

Time for homework, it seemed.

I decided to finish Math homework first, because I wanted to get the difficult ones done before my mind got too tired to focus. I began flipping through the pages…

'Mr. Baldi…'

… until a thought suddenly crossed my mind and my hands unconsciously slowed down.

Every time the subject Math was mentioned, Mr. Baldi immediately came across my mind, in a both terrifying and… oddly endearing way.

When my friends said that Mr. Baldi was known for his scary attitude and way of teaching, I knew that it would be bad, but not _this_ bad. Only when I was in his class, had I truly understood why. Every second in his class was literally mental torture to me. Every move he made and every word he spoke… everything felt like it could get me at any given moment, even when he was just teaching normally like every other teacher. I guessed that it was a fear that would forever remain at the back at my head every time I stepped into his class.

But the second period today really made me think more about my infamous Math teacher. His odd and gentle gesture toward me was… surprisingly warm, and it soothed my mind. His eyes were so full of worries when he realized that he had scared me, and it was quite a sight to behold. Such a supposedly strict teacher like him could actually have a soft side.

But still, that moment had left me with full of questions, even up until now. Why did he act like that? Was it because I was new? That couldn't be the case, because according to Hannah, he never went easy on anyone, even if they were new students who just got into the school. But even if he was being easy on me, I wouldn't expect him to look so hurt. Like I had thought, he must have had students who easily got anxious, so my reaction shouldn't have so much. But why did he look so pained like that? Just why…?

As countless questions ran through my head, my mind got lighter and lighter, slowly drifting away…

* * *

" _I'm soooo tired…"_

_I groaned as I rested my cheeks onto the desk, letting my little pigtails fall down as well. My mind felt tired, and my eyelids had already wanted to shut. My back hurt from having been forced to stay up right for such a long time. I let out a loud yawn, taking a look at my surroundings. My tired eyes made the room feel like it was spinning, and I could see that the bright walls full of stickers was also slowly warping._

" _Come on, just a little more and we're done."_

_A voice which belonged to a boy spoke up. Having been too exhausted, I didn't even bother to turn my head to look at him._

" _You always say that, and then you never let me rest…" I said, tapping my little finger onto the cold surface of the desk. "You're a liar."_

_I could hear his chuckle, and I puffed my cheeks. "What's so funny?"_

" _Haha, it's nothing." He said. "Well, you do seem very tired, so maybe I'll let you play a little."_

" _Really?"_

" _Really." I heard him closing the textbook. "Let's go downstairs. Your mom told me that she had yogurt ready for us."_

" _Yay! Yogurt!"_

_I excitedly pushed my body up, completely felt like I was revived. I could hear him laugh lightly, and I turned my head toward him._

_But before I look at him, a flash of bright light passed by, covering his face…_

* * *

I snapped my eyes wide open and pushed myself up quickly, looking around. I was still here, in my room with textbooks, notebooks and pens messily scattered all over my desk. I panted as I slowly calmed myself down.

It was just a dream, a very normal dream without anything scary. But it felt so… real. I knew it sounded creepy, but it truly felt so real that it was scary. The room… the desk… my little voice… Everything seemed so familiar. And who was I with? It looked like he was helping me do homework, but I secretly wondered if I knew him, even if it sounded ridiculous in a way.

Speaking of homework, I looked at the mess on my desk and then the clock on the wall. It looked like I fell asleep for half an hour, so I hurriedly picked up my pen and tried to finish my homework before the clock struck midnight.


	8. Tired and Stressed

"Hey… Hey…"

"Hey…"

"Hey!"

"Mate, are you listening?"

"Come on, girl. You're worrying us."

"Hello there! Is anyone there?!"

"Hey- You know what, screw it".

...

" _Hello,_ _ **EARTH TO-**_ "

" _Ah!_ "

I jumped and my body jolted straight up. I found myself breathing heavily and my heart beating quite fast due to the sudden loud noise right beside my ear. As I put your hand on my chest to calm my heart down, I looked around to see my three friends were around me with Allen standing right in front of my desk, Jesse sitting at her usual seat and Hannah standing next to Allen.

"H- huh…?" I said nervously. "W- What's going on…?"

" _Finally_ , you _fucking_ heard me!" Allen let out a groan as he crossed his arms. "I've been calling you for _ages._ "

"What- What do you mean?"

"Well, let's just say that…" Allen trailed off for a while. "We came in class to see you sitting with your face lying on your desk like a lifeless body. And… I tried to shake you and summon your soul back to your body hundred of times until it finally listened to me."

"Seriously though…" Hannah spoke up. "Are you feeling okay, April?"

"I- I'm okay." I scratched the back of my neck. "R- Really."

"No, I don't think so, girl." Jesse shook her head. "You've been like this for like, a week now. I've noticed that you're constantly tired all the time."

"I… do look like that?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"I've noticed that about you, too." Hannah rubbed her chin. "But I never had a chance to ask until now."

I averted your gaze for a few seconds before replying. "Well, the truth is… I've been lacking sleep lately."

"Really?" Jesse asked. "Have you been staying up late at night, like, _super_ late, about three or four in the morning?"

"Hmm… not really…" I hesitated as I thought to myself. "Two in the morning is the latest."

"That's… pretty late." Hannah said. "Try going to bed around midnight, or before one in the morning. That's the max I allow myself to stay up at night."

"Yeah, Hannah's right." Jesse nodded her head in agreement. "I'll admit that I'm a night owl myself, but I always go to bed around midnight."

"Or if you're having trouble sleeping, try drinking some warm milk, or avoid using your phone late at night." Allen said. "Well, I don't usually go with the latter, but I'm suggesting it in case you can do it."

As my friends continued to give me advices and suggestions, I secretly thought to myself. I lied to them again, ad I knew exactly why you lacked sleep. I always tried to go to bed as early as possible, but a certain type of dream kept coming to me, waking me up in the middle of the night, and sometimes made me think about it so much that my eyes were wide open for another couple of hours. I seriously hated it, but I couldn't do anything about it other than deal with it. I didn't remember those dreams appearing so frequently. A few months ago, they appeared once in a while, but now they came up almost _every night._

And every time the dream came up, a certain boy always made his appearance, but I was never able to see his face. I was really starting to suspect that I knew him, but I wasn't exactly sure at the same time. If I knew him, then there must be something very important about him that made me remember I couldn't figure it out, and it annoyed me to no end. Who was he? Where had we met? Where was he now? Was it possible that we were separated a long time ago? If that was the case, and he was important to me, then why did I have no memories of him at all?

The bell rang, interrupting our conversation and my own thoughts. Mrs. Robin came in a few minutes later and greeted the class with her usual friendly smile.

"Class, I have something to inform you before I take your attendance." She said. "You're taking your midterm exams next month, so I want you all to prepare your lessons well."

There was a loud, uniform gasp coming from the whole class.

"W- What, next month?!" Jesse panicked. "T- That's t- three weeks from today!"

"Crap, there's literally nothing in my head, nothing at all." Allen hissed worriedly. "Hannah, help me!"

"Okay okay, calm down guys, I'll help you study." Hannah said as she tried to reassure the two.

Meanwhile, I looked very calm on the outside. But on the inside, I was ready to explode from the panic and stress at any second. Exams were my worst fears and enemies in every school year. Of course, every student ever was scared of exams, even if they were a straight As student. But my fear for exams was more than that.

Because one failed exam and my step-mother would ruin my _life._

* * *

"So, I'm sure you all have been informed about the upcoming midterm, correct?"

Mr. Baldi asked as he flipped through his book, scanning through it. Of course, my class was completely silent as per usual. But I felt like the atmosphere was more intense, now that it was time for teachers to help their students revise their lessons for the exams.

Because if Mr. Baldi was already strict when explaining new lessons, then how strict would he be when exams were coming, and he was expecting us to do well in them?

"I think you all know the drills by now."

He took his eyes away from his book for a few seconds to give us a glare.

"You get below B in my subject, you regret your life choices. You get an F, you regret _being born._ "

Yep, it looked like my assumption was correct.

"Okay, you will revise from lesson one to eight."

His eyes continued scanning through his book, talking with a completely normal tone, as if he didn't just give us a _death threat_ at all _._

"I will help you with it, like usual, but I'm not the one in responsibility if you do badly in the exams." He continued. "Everything is all up to you, and I'm just here to help you with what you're still having troubles with, got it?"

The whole class replied him with a yes. Then, the teacher went on to tell us about which parts and kinds of problems we needed to especially focus on. I felt… incredibly _pressured._ Getting into this school was hard enough, and now I had to deal with exams. I truly felt that exams were the worst thing about going to school, and oh, how I always dreamt of the days when I never had to deal with them ever again. To make the matter worse, my mother always, _always_ made me stressed about getting at least 3.8 in GPA. Hell, getting an average 3.0 GPA was difficult enough. And I always thought that 3.8 was a very random number. Why couldn't it be 3.5?

"Alright, that's all the important things you need to carefully revise. Do any of you have any questions?"

No one said anything, of course.

Mr. Baldi sighed. "Now, open your textbook on page 56. We're continuing the previous lesson from the last period."


	9. The Exams

"I'm home, mother."

I said quietly as I went passed the kitchen and taking a glance inside it. I knew my mother didn't have an afternoon shift today, so I went inside as quietly as possible, not creating any sound that would alert my mother. Because I didn't want to hear the cold "home already?" coming from her when she heard that I'd arrived home.

After hearing me, she replied back, not looking back at me. "Good. Go upstairs and change."

I sighed inwardly as I answered with a small "yes" before proceeding to go upstairs to my room. I didn't like it when my mother was the one who came home first, even if her mood was completely okay that day. I hated coming home and having to greet my mother, only to receive a harsh welcome. Her welcome may not sound harsh at all to other people, but to me, it always was. Maybe living in this eerie house had had a little impact on me about how I felt when I talked to her.

I just wished that one day, someday, I would come home with a heart-warming welcome and casual questions, but like I had concluded, it would just be a farfetched dream. Because if I managed to make enough money in the future, there was no way I would continue living with my mother, and I was sure that no one would love me anyway, meaning that I wouldn't have a boyfriend to live with.

I secretly sighed again as I entered the kitchen after I had changed into a more comfortable outfit, which was a simple white T-shirt and blue shorts. But no matter how comfortable my clothes were, I somehow could still feel like something was stuck in my throat and my chest tighten whenever I sit down at the dinner table with my mother.

"How's school today?"

I gulped at my mother's question. I figured that this moment had to come sooner or later regardless of how hard I tried to avoid it.

"W- We'll have our midterm exams n- next month."

As soon as the word "midterm" reach my mother's ears, her face darkened _in the matter of seconds,_ sending shivers down my spine. This was one of the many reasons why I was absolutely horrified at the thought of informing my mother of important exams. Exams were the reasons why I was sent to this hellhole anyway, so of course she would be super alerted when she heard of this news.

"Next month?" She asked, picking up some beef with her chopsticks in the process.

"Y- Yes." I said in a small voice. "It's- It's three weeks from today."

"I think you know what to do, don't you?" She said in a voice that told me that she was dead serious, which was not helping the situation.

"'Bring back at least an A, no exception'…" I quoted.

"Good." She nodded at my answer. "At least you remember my words."

Well, with words that threatening, I doubted anyone could forget what she said.

* * *

"Hey Hannah, is this correct?"

Hannah looked over at Jessie's notebook and had a good look at it before pointing her finger to something in it.

"This is supposed to be -6, because if you multiply 2 by -3, there's supposed to be a negative sign in front of 6."

Jessie stared at her notebook for a while before sighing. "God, I forgot again."

"Be careful with the sign, Jessie." I said, looking up from my own notebook. "One wrong move and your effort would all go to waste."

"God, this is _ridiculous_ …!" Allen groaned in frustration, knitting his eyebrows together as he looked at his calculator. "How the hell is anyone supposed to get this right on the first try?!"

I sighed, telling Allen that I was wondering the same thing. And I also told him to try to quiet down because the four of us were in the library. Time passed by quite quickly, and within a blink of an eye, two weeks had gone by, leaving all of us one more week before midterms, so there was no doubt that we were feeling very worried and tired. As for me, I always felt like my time was running out faster than it actually was. As the day came closer and closer, I felt even more worried whenever a day had just ended. "It's just midterm", I kept reminding and reassuring myself, but I couldn't help but getting all worked up about it. It was just midterm, but it can determine whether I would still live in my house or end up wandering on the streets with nowhere to go.

In short, this remaining week was crucial.

"I need to find some more books on this factorization thing. It's really confusing me." I stood up, seeing Jessie nod in agreement in the process. "Be back soon."

Leaving the table where the four of us were sitting, I proceeded to go look for books relating to factorization and other Math related problems. I was glad that I agreed to have a group study session in the library with my friends, because I could have a large variety of books to choose from. This was Hannah's suggestion last year when she, Jessie and Allen had their first midterm together, and it had become a tradition for them ever since.

Flipping through some books, I didn't notice the sound of the footsteps heading toward me.

"I didn't expect to see you here, April."

I let out a loud yelp and dropped the book in my hand in an instant.

"W- Wa- Wait- What-"

I stuttered as I awkwardly knelt down, attempting to pick up the book while looking for the source of the voice in the process, until a hand suddenly landed on my own as we both reached for the item on the floor.

Looking up, I saw a familiar face, and I thought my heart just stopped at that moment.

"M- M- M- M-" It took me at least ten tries to get the name right. " _Mr. Baldi?!_ "

"Please lower your voice down, or else there will be complaints." He handed the book to me while reminding me with a very calm tone, talking as if he hadn't just scared me to _death_ at all.

"I- I'm sorry, Mr. Baldi…" I covered my mouth as I breathed in and out, attempting to mutter out a small apology. "I d- didn't see you…"

"No worries, I understand." He said, scratching the back of his neck. "Maybe I shouldn't have walked up to you so suddenly like that."

"I- It's okay, mister. I- I should have noticed you as well."

I chuckled as I tried to put up a smile. It was initially just to reassure him, but it wasn't until I looked into his eyes that I saw something. A few days ago, when I had been called to the board and had managed to solve a math problem, I had had a very bright smile on your face. And then when I had looked over him, I realized it. I had noticed it for a while, and that moment had finally concluded my suspicion.

Whenever I smiled, even if it was a very small or awkward smile, he always had that look on him. It was like my smile had something on him that made him like that. I couldn't really describe his gaze either. It looked deep, thoughtful, like there were always unanswered questions in his mind.

Something clicked in my mind.

My friends and classmates always told me that he was creepy, but I totally felt the opposite about him. Sure, he may look distant and ungodly strict, but the more I was near him, the more I didn't feel anything scary about him. Rather, I felt like his gaze held a mysterious vibe that just invited me to come closer, to go deeper and further into the inner world of his heart and mind.

I couldn't exactly pin-point the reason behind this whole thing. Was it because I was one of the few people who could actually see this side of him, or it was simply because I had gone crazy already?

"Are you here to study, April?"

His voice snapped me out of your thoughts.

"U- Uh, y- yes, Mr. Baldi! I'm with my friends, a- actually." I stammered. "W- What about you, mister?"

"I'm just here to pick up some books, nothing more." He answered shortly.

"T- Then, m- may I get back to my friends now, mister? They're probably waiting for me."

"Certainly." He said. "I also have some business to attend to."

"T- Then please excuse me, Mr. Baldi. I'll get going now."

I hurried back to my friends, _not_ ignoring the gaze that followed me from behind.


	10. Private Talk

I stared.

I stared.

I stared at the piece of paper in front of me.

I stared at the _thing_ that was the bane of my existence.

My whole body was frozen, chills running down my spine, hands not even able to shake as my eyes locked on the single letter on the piece of paper, my lips trembling.

The forth letter of the alphabet had always been, to me, an innocent and fun thing that every child was taught when they were little. It had been that way until school showed that it wasn't just a simple letter. It had been that way until I learned that it was my worst nightmare, a _grade_ that was _forbidden,_ a grade that wasn't _allowed_ to _exist_ on my exam papers, especially on my report card. So now, seeing the letter D in blood red ink on my test was like biting into the forbidden fruit that I didn't even want to touch in the very first place. I want to tear it apart, to tell myself that this wasn't true, that it wasn't happening right now, but the ink… it looked so new, so beautifully crimson yet so _deadly_ that I couldn't deny its existence.

I simply couldn't believe this. All those effort put into painfully difficult homework and exercises, all those sleepless night with pens and books scattering carelessly and messily across my desk for the past month, not to mention the days that were spent waiting impatiently and anxiously for the result… Those were for nothing at all? Accepting it was indeed a very hard task.

My hands, which I felt like had been paralyzed ever since forever, finally had a _tiny_ bit of strength to pick up the paper that had been lying flatly on my desk for the past minutes, although it felt like an eternity. Getting a grade way below A was indeed horrible, but if it had been with those teachers who were fine with a passing grade, like my History teacher, then a D would have appeared to be less scary. But no, life was never easy, and this grade was given to me by my Math teacher himself, Mr. Baldi, who was sitting at his desk, moving his eyes across the room as my classmates silently looked at their papers.

"Hey Oliver!" Max turned his head around to look behind him. "What did you get?"

"B, 85 percent." Oliver answered simply, looking back at the blond boy. "And no, I don't need to ask you about your grade, because I already knew ages go."

"Geez, stop giving me that look." Max chuckled. "Yeah, I got an A+, but _still,_ you did well too."

Why was I even surprised that he got the highest grade in the system?

"Oh, April!" Max turned to me, his usual bright smile visible on his face. "What about you?"

I said nothing, averting my gaze as I just let the two see my paper, which made Oliver's eyes widen and emitted a small gasp from Max.

" _Shit,_ a D?" Oliver couldn't help cursing quietly, covering his mouth as he did. "61 percent too, on top of that?"

Max was just speechless while I hung my head low, unable to look at them in the eyes.

"April…" Max said quietly so that Mr. Baldi wouldn't notice. "Look, I'm not making fun of you, even if it seems that way, but with this grade in Mr. Baldi's class…"

"I know." I said in an equally small voice. "I'm screwed, aren't I?"

They were silent, and I was pretty sure that was because they didn't want to accidentally upset me, and also because they had no better way to make me feel better. We all knew that I was in a very deep pit where there was possibly no way of getting out, especially with the line of neat handwriting underneath the grade.

_See me after school._

* * *

"Man, I just wanna go home and play video games."

The guy walking near me said to his friend, and I agreed with him. But the problem was, if only I had been allowed to just do it…

Today felt extremely different than the rest, and to be more specific, it was worse. My steps felt heavy as I walked down the stairs, letting the students rush down quickly as I just took my time with it. Everyone was excited for the school day to be over while I was not, because they got to go home and rest while I couldn't. I was already not happy with the eerie atmosphere of my house, but with Mr. Baldi's request, I wished I had been able to just go home right there and then, thinking how it would be nice to just lie on my bed after working ten hours straight on homework _after_ I had successfully endure a very tense dinner.

… No, now that I thought about it, I didn't want to go home. To my step-mother, getting a B was already considered a disgrace, so I couldn't just go home and tell her that I got a _D._ Her reaction every time was always on my "The last thing I – or anyone - want" list. Fumbling with the map in my hands, countless thoughts and questions ran through my mind in a very messy way until everything stopped when my feet stood in front of the big door.

I was in front of Mr. Baldi's office.

It was already bad that I was called in for a private talk with the strictest teacher in the universe, even if I had been noticing a little bit of his good side lately, but it was even worse when I had to wait fours period straight, not including lunch hours, to get to this point of time. Sitting in class while kept having to be reminded of the Math test was like torture honestly, and I could not concentrate at all. Allen, Jessie and Hannah didn't know about this, as I kept this matter hidden from them at lunch, and I just simply told them that I couldn't walk home with them today because I would be busy talking with my Physics teacher, who taught me in my last period of the day. To think about it, that excuse was partly true. Partly.

Taking in a deep breath, I brought up all the courage I got, which barely existed, and knocked. From inside, a "Come in" in a very low tone was heard.

I held the doorknob and swung it open slowly with shame written all over my face.

Inside was a very organized office with perfect stacks of papers, documents and books placed neatly in their designated place, which was unsurprising to me, given how much of a perfectionist he was. He appeared to be grading some papers before my arrival. Those papers scrawled with red ink reminded me of mine, to be honest. Seeing who I was, he put his pen away to gesture his hand to a chair in front of his desk.

"Have a seat, April."

He must have been expecting me ever since the bell rung, given how calm and collected he was. Walking with uncertain steps, I found myself idling in front of my teacher before sitting down across from him. There was a few seconds of silence before Mr. Baldi spoke up and broke the silence, which I was extremely grateful for. One more quiet second and my sanity could have broken instead.

"So, April…" He said, and I could feel his eyes locking on me even though my head was down. "You know why I want your presence here right now, do you not?"

I wanted to reply with a proper answer like how every student is supposed to with their teacher, but I was unable to. My lips and tongue just simply couldn't move, afraid to make any sound, so I just nodded instead. He, unlike what I expected, accepted that seemingly impolite response. There my life went again, messing with my head by throwing unexpected things at me.

"There must be a reason behind your performance in your mid-term."

I stayed silent again, eyes looking down at the floor like it had become the most interesting thing in the world. He continued without my answer.

"I know getting a B on such an important exam is hard, but to be completely honest, I've expected you to be able to do it." He said, his words making me surprised and I had nearly snapped out of my frozen state to look up at him. "I'm not saying that I overestimated your ability or that I'm disappointed, but… you've been doing so well in class."

I bit my lips. Those words might have been intended to cheer me up and ease the tension down, but for some reasons, they just seemed to weigh me down even more. Knowing that he had put hopes in me, a student who could never get a B or at least a C with flying colors, I felt even more embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

But as I was drowning in guilt, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. Wasn't he supposed to scold me ruthlessly by now with how strict and scary he was and with the long yellow ruler leaning on the side of his desk, the ruler that he always smacked into his palm whenever he was angry at his students? Instead, he was giving me words of reassurance? And on top of that, he was addressing the matter in such a collected voice.

A sigh escaped his lips. "April…"

Why did the way he said my name sound so… sad? He must be disappointed in me, even if he had already denied that fact, I just knew it.

"April, will you please look at me?"

Gripping my hands which had been placed on my thighs the whole time, I gulped and slowly raised my head. Once again, my heart skipped a beat for no reason at all.

No, there was _actually_ a reason, and it was the way he was looking at me. His eyes held that caring look that he had on very rare occasions. After that realization at the library, I'd been keeping an eye on how he acted around others, as well as how he looked at them. And to my surprise, he always had on that straight and cold expression, even if other teachers were super nice or even if some girls were purposely flirting with him, with the latter kind of sending shivers down my spine. But when he was only talking with me, he… softened up a little, and I didn't have any other word to describe it. Whenever he was with me only, his nice side made its appearance, even if just slightly or just for a few short seconds, which sparked curiosity in me in a good and bad way at the same time. While knowing he wasn't all strict and scary like the rumors was kind of a relief for me and made me a bit more relaxed around him, it did leave me with confusion. What was so special or different about me that made him act that way? And more importantly, was he _really_ acting like that or was I simply delusional?

No matter how many questions were there in my mind, everything faded away when his voice reached me, cutting out any other thoughts I had and bringing me back to the situation at hand.

"April…" He repeated my name once more time in that same sad tone. "Is there anything about me that you don't like?"

His question made me wonder for a second if I had heard him wrong.

"What- N- No, mister!" I leaned forward, my hands supporting my upper body.

"You don't need to hide anything from me." He said, locking eyes with me. "Like I've mentioned, there must be a reason why you didn't do well in your test. So you're free to tell me what you're not satisfied with about me, as well as my lectures."

"M- Mr. Baldi-" I stumbled over my words. "It's- It's really not that…"

He looked at me before averting his gaze, sighing. "Then what is it, April?"

I really wanted to ease his doubts down, because he really had nothing to do with this. It wasn't his fault that I got into this mess. Sure, he made me scared, but he wasn't the one who made me do this badly on the exam. It was either my mom who forced me into this school or me who didn't study hard enough. Regardless of the reason, he was clearly feeling very guilty of this, thinking that he was the cause of all this, and I really hated to see him like this. But for some reason, the words just couldn't come out, no matter how hard I tried or how much I forced myself to talk, so my lips were left agape, unable to make any sound.

Taking in a deep breath, I decided to lie again, like I'd been doing for the hundredth time ever since I entered this school.

"M- Maybe it's… it's because I didn't understand the lesson…"

"Is that so?" He said, his tone and expression unreadable. "Why didn't you ask me about it then?"

Catching the hint that I didn't want to answer the question from my silence, he let out another sigh. "Which exact part didn't you understand?"

Fiddling with my fingers, I spoke from experience. "I- I think it's the… factorization thing."

He was silent for a few seconds before speaking up again, offering to explain the lesson to me again, to which I agreed.


	11. Dead End

Well, today was one of those days where life finally decided to give me a break from its usual shenanigans.

Sitting beside Jessie in the school's courtyard at lunch, I once again was able to truly enjoy peace at its finest form as I happily talked my thoughts and time away. The chatter of the students surrounding us made up the youthful atmosphere you would normally find and expect to find in a school, blending perfect with the birds' little voice and that of the Principle chasing after a student as he yelled _"No running in the halls"_ exactly like his typical self _._ Warm sunlight painted the scene a light golden color, making everything look even more beautiful. I took a sip of my BSoda, which apparently was the only kind of soda this school had, and couldn't help laughing when the other two girls gave Allen a deadpan stare after a pun of his that obviously didn't work out in his favor, resulting in things getting awkward and the said brunet telling them that they were "no fun".

It was moments like this that made me appreciate life a little bit more, making me forget all the drama and tension, like that day two weeks ago when I was called in for a one-on-one talk with my Math teacher himself.

Even though I had kinda needed an explanation on the lesson in order to clear out all the confusion I had, it wasn't really what I cared the most. Up until now, when my mind was at ease and no worries was in my head, I could still remember that day like it had just happened yesterday, if not just an hour ago. Whenever I gripped my hands, I could feel like I was doing it as the tension of his office engulfed my mind and my soul. And even more than that, whenever I looked up from the table, I could still clearly see Mr. Baldi's pained look on me, eyeing me carefully but still giving me enough space for me to collect my thoughts.

I secretly sighed as I patted 1st Prize's head, asking internally what had been going on that day as it still confused me to this day, though looking at the robot's innocent face kind of relaxed me a little. Even if I was still unsure of that meeting and my feelings toward it, I had told myself to try and enjoy this fine day.

At least until this moment when my back hit the wall, signaling the end of my life.

"Well, well, well, how **DisSAPoINtINg**." An unknown boy in orange grinned down at me when it was transparently clear that there was no possible way for me to escape this situation he had put me into. "The school's star has no **ITEMs**."

"W- What are you doing…? S- Stop…" I asked that, but I already knew what he was after. He became like this when I had told him that I had nothing on me, at least nothing valuable in my bag, the bag that his "friends" had forcefully and cruelly yanked off my shoulders, the bag they had opened without my permission and looked inside, throwing things out in the process. I wanted to reach for it, to grab whatever I could and run, but I was unable to.

I was stuck.

"Yeah, how disappointing indeed." The blond girl in his gang of three people clicked her tongue after she had proved to herself that there was nothing really worth taking in my bag. "You'd think that the teacher's pet has some kind of good stuff in there."

"P- Please, I'll get you anything, just… let me go…" I said quietly, not willing to look up at the guy in front of me, his big body casting a shadow over my small, helpless one. "And what are these names you're using on me?"

"Oh don't play dumb on us." A different guy in a black shirt said. "We know that bald, creepy-ass teacher is giving you some kind of special treatment."

I didn't know why, but hearing what he used to describe Mr. Baldi stung my heart and mind, making my blood boil, but my scared soul made me dismiss that feeling and focus on the situation at hand instead. I wanted to scream for help, but my throat was stuck as well, making it impossible to do anything other than let out small whimpers which were completely useless at the moment. Every muscle of my body was held still by an invisible force, saved for my eyes which were glancing around desperately to see if someone, _anyone,_ happened to pass by. But to my disappointment and fear, no one was around.

It was in that very moment that I was able to confirm that they _had planned this,_ that they'd purposely made me the last to leave school in order to do this without anyone trying to step in _._

The school day had ended with the bell as signal, and I was just like other students, packing up my stuff to get ready to go home when someone bumped into me and made me drop all my stuff, and that someone didn't help me pick them up by the way, so I ended up being the last one to leave the room, given how much things I had to bring for that class. When I had thought that I couldn't be more late, someone else hit my head and I fell into unconsciousness, though just only for a short time. The moment I opened my eyes again, I immediately noticed something before anything else. I touched the front of my chest and my eyes widened, my heart increased its speed and my lips were left agape when one of my worst fears came about.

My pendant was gone.

I wore my pendant necklace around my neck all the time, though not many people could notice since it was always under my shirt. I didn't know why, but I constantly had that fear of it suddenly getting lost or disappearing, which could be the end of the whole galaxy itself, so I decided to keep it hidden from the rest of the world, except for my mother who didn't really care. That pendant had been around me since forever, though I never knew exactly when or who gave it to me, the latter sometimes bothering me a little. That little piece of jewelry may look ordinary on the outside, but it meant a lot to me for an unknown reason I was still trying to figure out. Whenever I was scared, stressed or silently crying alone, I'd hold it close to my heart and it'd then sooth my mind, as well my uncontrollable emotions. I'd feel safe again, as if I knew that someone was there, secretly telling me to stay strong and push forward, encouraging me to try to reach for my future. Whether that person really existed was still a mystery, but at least I could keep the tiny glimpse of hope that was still resting deep in my mind.

So, based on how important it was to me, anyone could tell that the world around me was slowly crumbling after the unwanted discovery. Not willing to give up that tiny glimpse of hope yet, my legs used all of its strength to stand up, my hands slamming the door open to run around the school to look for it. It might sound impossible, but my mind seemed to know exactly where it was, as if my heart and soul had been connected with that precious pendant of mine, and after a few minutes, I soon found it in a small corner of the hallway that made it barely noticeable. Had I not been aware that I was still in the hallways of my school, I could have literally cried tears of joy. I honestly couldn't have known what I'd have done or what would have happened to me if I had never been able to find t.

The moment I let out a sigh of relief as I opened up my locker to get my bag, I felt a pair of eyes staring at me, but the pure happiness of finding my valuable pendant made me ignore it, until a brunet in an orange shirt blocked my way with his other two sidekicks, demanding that I gave him "something great". I was too startled and scared to realize that "I don't have anything to give you" was a very bad response in that particular situation, resulting in them stepping dangerously closer and closer pushing me to walk backward until my body touched the wall behind me.

"W- What do you mean, Mr. Baldi's giving me 'some kind of special treatment'?" I couldn't help asking, but I ended up getting a slap across my cheek, the sound ringing loudly in my ears and echoing in the silent hallways.

"I said _don't play dumb with us._ " The boy in black threatened, his eyes darkened. "Everyone in this damn school knows that Mr. Baldi never _fucking_ goes easy on anyone, except for you."

"Oh girl, don't you cry crocodile tears." The girl said in a sing-song voice, humiliating me even further. "I've been watching you ever since the start of the semester, and I know for a fact that you two have something going on."

Except for the leader, the whole gang was wearing face masks, so I couldn't really see what they looked like beside their hair and eyes, which was definitely a bad thing. Not being able to identify their faces would really make me feel even more insecure and unsafe now that she'd said she'd been spying on me.

Despite knowing that they'd make fun of me for crying, that they'd try to push my mentality down to the bottom of the ground even more, I just couldn't hold back the tears. Drops of hot tears just continued rolling my cheeks non-stop, making me look pathetic. But what could I do other than that? I had no one to turn to, my voice was lost and I was trapped in place with no hope of getting out of this hellish moment. I fell down as my legs were no longer able to support my body, and I hugged my knees, burying my face behind them as I covered my ears, trying to block their words out of my mind, though all of my effort seemed to be going in vain.

"I heard that you nearly failed your Math midterm. Wonder if you're regretting the effort of trying to impress your dear Mr. Baldi."

Stop.

"Yeah, what a stupid bitch. How did you even get into this school in the first place? Unlike me, you don't even look like you have a single penny to bribe the school with."

Please stop.

"Hey hey! What if she didn't bribe, but fucked the **PRinciPLe?!** She doesn't look like a rich kid, but she does have that vibe of a **SLUt**."

My head hurt. My _heart_ hurt.

"Absolutely _genius_ of your to think of that! I'm sure that's exactly how she got into this school when she has the brain of a literal goldfish."

Stop stop stop stop stop stop _stop-_

My head was spinning, my vision was blurry, my ears were filled with statics and my mind was an absolute mess which was impossible to untangle. I held my head, gripping my hair as if it could make anything better as I just sat there in pure helplessness, letting the insults and humiliation soak into my soul like a sponge naturally absoring water. I no longer cared about anything. No longer minded my tears, my watery eyes, not even the slapping of the ruler and the light, quiet but forceful footsteps toward me.

The slapping got louder, and louder, and louder, covering the voices of the bullies. That, or it had completely silence them, not that I was awake or sane enough to tell the difference.

_"GeT ouT WhILe yOu StiLL CAn."_

Then, I heard a demonic, glitchy voice, a voice that could only mean destruction and blood, a voice so threatening, so inhuman that it could tear someone's confidence apart, making them regret putting up a challenge. A scream followed it. Multiple screams were sounded all at once as I felt another presence, but I was still too broken to bother looking up. The slapping seemed to be very close by now, and a dark, eerie aura filled the place. It was after then that I heard yelling and the sound of many people running, along with the very familiar sound of the principle himself.

_"No bullying in the halls. No disrespecting faculty members in the halls. No running in the halls. No screaming in the halls. No evading detention in the halls."_

When the voice and the sound of running had gone far away, slowly fading into the distance, I felt the mysterious person stopping right before me and knelt down, his breath hitting me. But I, once again, was afraid to look up. To my surprise, my head was still clear enough to know that the bullies had been chased away, but who knows what was about to come next. Who was this myterious hero? How did they hear my cries and come to the rescue? Were they _even_ a hero in the first place, or were they just another one of those who was just looking forward to hurting me more, to pull me up to the light so that they could watch the shock and dissapointment being written on my face as they cruelly let go of my hand, letting me fall back into the darkness beneath?

Somewhere in the middle of my messy and mindless lines of questions, a hand reached out to me and touched my arm, sending an electricity-like wave throughout my body, snapping me out of my thoughts and pulling me away from the dark corner of my mind. It was... warm, oh so warm that it calmed my heart, put my soul at ease and unfroze my still body. My vision got better, no longer clouded with dark stains, and I could feel my muscles again. I, once again, could feel myself again, as if I had been revived, and I became aware that my whole body was sore, my eyes still teary and my cheeks wet. But those were none of my concern as I soon found the strength to lift my head up, finally seeing my hero who had somehow received my words and messages of hopeless pleas.

The moment I caught his eyes was the moment I caught the most beautiful pair of red gemstones ever existed on Earth. They were red, a crimson red that held mysteries, words inviting one to come closer; a dark red that promised death and destruction, did one dare put pain into it; a bright red that could glow oh so marvelously in the darkest of night, the bright red that was shining brilliantly through the deepest reach of my heart and mind.

Those crimson rubies, they stared into my dark brown ones as a deep but soothing voice spoke up.

"Shh... Don't cry, don't cry..." The man in green spoke gently as his hand carefully caressed my cheek as if he was trying not to break the most fragile and delicate piece of glass. "I'm here for you, I'm always here for you..."

Before his name could be spoken in my hoarsh, broken voice, everything fell into darkness before I could even realize it, before I could see the panic in those beautiful red eyes.


	12. Wounds

_Where is this place?_

That was the first question that popped up in my mind the first moment I was able to slightly open my eyes. The bed, it didn't feel like the familiar one I always lied on whenever night fell. It felt… strange. It did feel comfortable enough for my aching body, but it didn't quite feel the same. Its surface was a little rougher than the bed in my room, but at least the comfy pillow and blanket made up for it. The bright light of the room made me blink a few times before I could adjust and get used to it.

Due to the pain in my muscles, I was forced to stay still and use my eyes to glance around the room. It was when I was able to explain the reason why the bed felt different – I was in the nurse's office. I was sure of it even though my head was still spinning. It was clear from the desk, the cupboards filled with medicine bottles and the medical posters on the walls.

But then, something in the corner of my eyes caught me, making me forget about everything else in my surroundings.

Sitting next to my bed was a tall man who was none other than Mr. Baldimore himself, and he didn't seem to have noticed that I was awake yet. That was a good thing, because I got to admire that focused yet collected look of his, a mysteriously calm air surrounding him. His slender fingers gently flipped the page of the book he was reading and his eyes closely read each line, his pupils slowly moving as he did so. For some reason, my gaze kept coming back to stare at his eyes, those _gorgeous_ eyes. Dear God, how had I not noticed how beautifully ineffable they were? How they were a little narrow but able to form a perfect shape, how deeply black their color were,… it seemed like everything atonishing was put in those captivating gems. Not only that, but other features of his face looked as if they were made to compliment those eyes even more. Such strong-looking yet elegant jawline, such straight and tall nose, and such-

I nearly let out a gasp as something mortifying hit my mind.

I was somehow put in the nurse's office, but it wasn't important right now. What mattered was that I was having such thoughts about my own _teacher_ instead of getting scared of him like usual. I felt heat rushing to my cheeks upon realizing my sin. I must have hit my head or something. I _must_ have. There was no way I would think about my infamous teacher that way.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when his gaze moved to my direction, catching me in the act. He quickly put down the book onto his laps and fully turned his attention towards me.

"Oh, April." He said in a calm manner, but I somehow could feel extreme concern in his voice. "You're finally up. How are you feeling?"

"Um…" I held my head and slowly pushed my body up. "I feel… okay? I mean, I can sit up, so that's a good sign, right?"

I let out a small nervous chuckle as I scratched the back of my neck. But then within a few seconds, my smile faded and was replaced by a stunned look. On his face was a smile, a genuine one as he let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, I can say that it's something to be glad about." He spoke with that same smile. "Does it still hurt?"

"It still does, but I can deal with it, mister." I tried to say slowly and clearly while desparately forcing my heart to calm down. It could not understand it – what was happening to me? I didn't care about my headache as long as someone could explain to me why my body was reacting this way. I unconsciously brought up my sleeve in a pathetic attempt to hide the obvious blush creeping up to my face, averting my gaze in the process. He rarely smiled, and maybe I was grateful for it to some degrees. If he had done it too often, then I wouldn't have known how I was supposed to even last.

Luckily, his radiant smile was replaced by a dumbfound look for some reason, but I guess everything had its cons. His eyes instead focused on me, and I felt like it would a wise decision to dig a hole and hide in there forever. How he was looking at me so attentively made my heart go mad. It wasn't scary or unsettling like the look he always used to glare at a wrong answer. The one he was giving me was a gentle gaze, something full of care and amaze, and I swore I heard him mumbled a word that could barely be heard. If only I had the rumored super hearing that he supposedly had. But then again, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what he said. Some things were best not known.

Once again for the umpteenth time, I found myself trailing my eyes back to his, and that was when I started to notice something. I did adore the midnight color of his eyes, I really did, but there was missing there. I loved the care in his gaze, but I suddenly had the sudden urge to see something else in them, something different but somehow still managed to keep that reassuring and gentle feel.

My eyes widened upon realizing what it was, a fast but soul-stirring image flashing through my head. The image of the same man with red eyes, the dark crimson color forever etched in my mind.

Memories flooded back to me and my body shook uncontrollably. I recalled the sound of my books being thrown out of my backpack, the clanking sound of my pens following. I remembered the look of fake pity, humiliation and _disgust_ along with their satisfied, never ending laughter. Their words, they had pried my head open, eating me up slowly and making me lose control of my mind. They were absolutely ruthless, trying to dig out the last piece of sanity and self-esteem I had left, if I had any in the first place. I thought I was done for until my hero came to rescue me, and he was the man sitting next to me, worrying about me, which was something beyond what people saw him as.

I remembered now.

However, there was something in me telling me that it was not time to say those words yet. What did it mean, I didn't know. It might have been something other than the bullying, though I couldn't really force myself to remember. It felt like something far away.

Seemingly having noticed my shaking body, he placed a hand onto my arm. To say that I might regret what I did next was an understatement. "Might" was an understatement.

I _flinched._

I flinched and made him withdraw his hand.

"April?" He again asked with a very worried tone. "April, are you okay?"

_No I'm not,_ I thought internally. I wasn't okay both in a physical and mental sense. He had accidentally touched one of the places that had been hurting and I couldn't help hissing in pain, holding my arm where it was throbbing. But the pain couldn't compare to the regret flowing over me when I saw the concerned expression on his face. I made him worry for me, someone who didn't deserve his kindness, and I soon found myself drowning in the sea of guilt and shame. He needn't feel troubled just because of me.

Out of the blue, he lifted my hand as delicately as he could, catching my attention completely and making me push all those thoughts aside. He opened his mouth and was about to say something when he stopped, his eyebrows furrowing as he eyed my hand carefully. I raised an eyebrow at his strange behaviour before realizing something belatedly. He wasn't looking at my hand, but rather the dark mark on my wrist.

"Wait, Mr. Baldi-!"

Ignoring my protest, he pushed my long sleeve up to reveal my forearm. Everything was exposed all at once. Bruises. Bruises and marks covered my arm, painting my skin with a dark shade of black and purple. I could feel his hand shake as he looked straight into my eyes.

"What happened?"

"I- It's nothing, mister!" I paninked. "N- Nothing to worry about-"

"What. _Happened?_ "

He repeated his question in a more forceful manner, and I gulped. I had seen him silently getting angry over wrong answers in class, and it was always a nerve-wracking and anxious experience. But this was beyond terrifying. Mr. Baldi was undeniably an unreadable person, and this was one of the finest examples. One second he could be caring like a good teacher should, and then in the next second his personalities could flip 180 degrees and he would become the most threatening man ever existed. But I knew this was out of concern and worries, so I tried to calm down and think of something good to answer his question with. Something reasonable.

"I... fell down the stairs the other day."

That was truly a lie, a horrible and _godawful_ lie, a statement so faulty that it made me sick to every cell in my body. If I had really had fallen down the stairs, I wouldn't have felt so bad. I felt like I was _betraying_ my teacher, who I was starting to create a trusting bond with. It wasn't my careless feet that gave me those injuries but my own _step-mother._ The day she found out about my Math midterm grade was the day I knew I was destined to die. I was supposed to have been _dead_ that moment, but I was somehow still alive. She somehow had managed to keep me alive, probably to keep torturing me. She was unforgiving, merciless with every hit, beating me with every ounce she had. Every time her hand went down on me, everytime she pushed to the floor, I could slowly see my grave from afar.

Mr. Baldi stared at me, eyeing every movement of mine like the way he always carefully searched for mistakes in exams. I sweated, wanting to break the silence but too afraid to speak up. All the courage in me had probably gone out of the windows by now. Giving me one last look, he nodded.

"Try to be more careful, okay?"

He wouldn't have let this slide if he had checked my legs and other arm.

I wanted to slap myself for lying.

Slapping probably was the most generous punishment in this situation, to be honest.


	13. The Beginning

"April, look! Look!"

A voice sounded from afar, but it was soon in vain once more as I continued to think, repeating the question _"What to do?"_ in my mind. Such a simple question but it had had me thinking over and over for god knows how long. The answer should have been clear already, but for some reason I couldn't have a grasp on it. It was kind of there, but the image was still foggy, not obvious to the eye.

"April? April, hey!"

Again with that tiny voice, echoing somewhere in the corner of my mind where many ideas and thoughts occupied-

" _April!_ "

A chain of continuous shake jolted me out of my daydream and I looked around, clueless as if I just fell down from the sky. "H- Huh- Wha-"

"April, you missed it!"

Looking to my right, I saw a pair of black scribbled eyes staring at me dissapointedly and a frown. It took me a while to regain my memories of who this girl was, as well as where I was.

"M- Missed what, Playtime?" I asked, scratching my head in the process.

"Missed the swirl!" The girl said, her voice upset and her curly locks drooping. "It was right there on the tree! If only you could see how cute it was."

Not knowing how to comfort her because I already didn't know to comfort people already, I just sighed and patted her on the head, feeling her locks intertwined with my fingers as I tried to apologize.

This was Playtime, a girl whom I often played with in the park. I didn't usually go to the park, but it was good to relax there once in a while and it was also how I met her. Being bullied myself, something sparked inside me when I saw tears running from her unusual but unique black eyes, the three other kids pointing and laughing at her. Judging from the scissors and the broken jump rope the girl held, it was clear that the other kids had cut her rope. And not only that, they were making fun of her as if she had no feelings to hurt in the first place. They reminded of how my bullies treated me that day, ruthlessly and cruelly. Being irritated by such unacceptable sight, I unconsciously stepped in and told them to let her go, shooing them away and making them run like cowards they were. When she was asked if she was okay, her eyes were wet with the never-ending streams of tears, nothing could come past her lips other than the tiny sniffle, so she hugged me instead. I simply let the little girl cried in my embrace, not minding or complaining if her tears soaked my shirt. For my whole life, my arms, sleeves and pillows had been my only places for me to cry into, so I was not going to let this child suffer the same fate.

"T- This had been t- the forth time they've done i- it."

Then came many more words of the bullies from her tiny tone, how they had constantly ruined her sandcastle, how they had poured sand onto her, how they had described her eyes as "ugly" and "weird", how they said she was worth being isolated because of her "creepy" appearance… I could still remember her trembling voice and how her body shook. She felt so helpless, so tiny in my arms, and I couldn't help hugging her more tightly. The feeling of irresponsibility crept up my spine upon realizing that I came for her too late. If I had frequented this place more often, maybe I could have protected her from the start. Guilt filled my mind, but then came something that shone and pushed those negative emotions away.

"T- Thank you f- for d- defending me…"

She said between sniffs, her eyes still teary but on her face was a smile. It was just a simple and small smile, but it somehow warmed my heart knowing that she felt protected.

When I had to go, she had held my leg to make me look down at her one last time, asking if I would come next Wednesday. I nodded before leaving, walking down the pavements and dropping by a shop to buy two jump ropes, a short one for her and a longer one for me.

"What were you thinking about, April?" Playtime asked, pulling me away from my inner thoughts. "You seemed spaced out."

"Oh, uh, nothing."

That was clearly a lie that was way too overused. If it weren't for Playtime, I would have thought longer that I was supposed to.

To everyone's disbelief, it was nearly the end of the school year and we had just finished our finals – one of the most painful and nerve-wracking exams every single student had to face eventually. When Mrs. Robin announced the exam schedule, I had been very determined to pass every subject without literally tipping over the edge every time. But then, there would be times when I was lost in the sea of assignments, not knowing how to properly and effectively study without exhausting myself and squeezing every last drop of energy out of my body. Those Math problems were a pain to deal with, and that was when I gathered up all my courage and asked Mr. Baldi for help.

That was surely a risky decision, and to some students, it was basically throwing a bomb into a fire. But a part told me that this was a right thing to do, and I believed it. Unlike others, I had spent lots of time with him after school and a bond was now created between us. No one could possibly be able to feel the fluttering of the heart every time his smile made its appearance. It was barely noticable – he was good at hiding it, but it didn't mean that I couldn't catch a glimpse of it from time to time. And maybe I was one of the few people who could have a chance to see him so passionate in his teaching. When he was so into his job, his eyes shone and focused, his voice clear and filled with enthusiasm. It was one of the most precious sights ever. It almost made him look… friendly.

On the last day, he had patted my shoulder and wished me luck. His fierce eyes and tones was my motivation, giving me the strength and will not only to pass the exams, but also to make him happy. It was never a pleasant thing when someone had poured their heart into helping you just to receive the same result, so I made a silent promise with him and myself to try my hardest. How many hours I had to stay up, how much coffee I had to consume, how much of my free time I had to sacrifice,… they were nowhere near important right then. I had to do well, not just for me, but also for my dear teacher, to repay his effort and his hope he had placed on me from the very beginning, even before that first midterm exam.

After a week of countless anxious hours and anticipation, I got my B.

It wasn't the best comparing to some others, but it was what Mr. Baldi had wanted. The moment I received my grade, I could have jumped through the roof if I had physically been able to. I'd never felt so happy, so satisfied, so _proud_ of myself in such a long while, possibly for many years straight. Normally I would just sigh in relief if I got a passing grade. Or, I would sit in the corner, curl myself into a ball, ask what I had done wrong and waited for my punishment.

Max and Oliver congratulated me and I thanked them with a joyous spirit. But after the ecstatic moments were put aside, I looked up at Mr. Baldi's desk and I thought everything around me had stopped for a second. There that smile again on his face, but it was more beautiful, more _stunning_ than ever. It was gentle and not easy to notice, but it was brighter than the sun itself, and my heart skipped a beat when I became aware that smile was for me and for me only, given to me like a priceless gift on my success. All the excitement left me and only left room for thoughts to rest in my mind. The realization struck me, making me remember something extremely important and not meant to be put aside – If it hadn't been for Mr. Baldi, I would have been crying over an F right then. From the way his lips curved into a little smile, he must be very glad that his effort paid off. However, he just simply looked at me for a while before turning to the whole class to ask if we had any question, his chin resting on his hand. And throughout the whole period to the second the bell rung, he never asked anything in return and just congratulated me when all the students had gone outside the room.

So now, I was thinking of giving or doing something for him to help me send my deepest gratitude to him. Just saying thank you sounded too plain in this case. But the real question was, _"What should it be?"_

I found myself thinking too much about that seemingly simple question. It sounded like something you could answer right away, but it was actually the hardest thing to find the solution to. I didn't want to just buy something from the store because it seemed too typical comparing to everything he had done for me . I seeked something hand-made and meaningful, something that you put all your love into making, as well as something that would surprise my teacher. But then, I also needed it to be simple. I was realistic of the fact that I wasn't the best at crafting and if I chose something too complicated, I might ended up screwing myself over instead of creating a nice gift.

Oh well, now wasn't really the right time to think. I needed to be somewhere quieter and more private so that I could think to myself.

"Anyway,…" I said to change the subject, turning Playtime away from the topic of what I was thinking about. "Let's play, shall we?"

"Let's play! Let's play!" She beamed excitedly and I couldn't help chuckling a little. Being with Playtime made me realize how I loved and missed the innocence of children. Their smile were always so genuine and every word they spoke was always honest, even if they sometimes spoke harsh truth or inappropriately blunt things. Their eyes were always sparkling, filled with hopes and dreams.

If only I could remember how my childhood went. For some reason, when someone asked me the best memories of my childhood, I could only remember from when I was ten. I recalled nothing from the time before that, unlike other kids who seemed to be able to remember what they had done when they were five.

* * *

"Come in."

A voice followed suit after I knocked on the door, giving me the permission to enter the room. Carefully opening the door, I was once again greeted by the familiar sight of Mr. Baldi's tidy office. I had been here so many times that I had gotten used to its perfection and neatly organized things. Mr. Baldi put down a piece of paper he was reading and looked up to see who it was.

"Oh, April?" He seemed surprised to see me, but that didn't mean he didn't want to see me here. In fact, he looked kind of happy as well. "I wasn't expecting you here."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Baldi." I chuckled a little, scratching the back of my neck in the process as I sat down in front of him. "I'm sorry if this is sudden, but could you help me with something?"

"Sure, April." He said, learning forward a little as I fumbled with my backpack. "What is it?"

I pulled out a piece of paper out of my bag and put it in front of him. He looked at it and then gave me a confused look, his eyebrow lifting a little. "Math? But isn't final over already?"

"Um, uh…" I glanced back and forth, sweats starting to form on my forehead. I had seen this coming, I really had. In fact, I had already _prepared_ for it. It was just that… it was _hard_ to lie even if others didn't even know that you were lying, for me at least. I secretly fiddled with my fingers as I tried to answer him as calmly and clearly as possible. "Well, um, during the time I was preparing for the exam, I was looking for math problems to practice when I came across this, uh, very interesting thing on the- the Internet. It said that there's a surprise once you solve it, but it's really hard."

He stayed quiet for a while as if to confirm that my words were true. After giving me a nod, he then proceeded to look over the supposedly challenging problem.

"Let's see… it says to graph these three functions…" He let out a small chuckle after five seconds of reading. "These look complicated, but they are actually very easy to graph. Here, I'll show you."

He eagerly took out a pen and began showing me how to do it little by little, but really, I didn't need an explaination when I already knew the answer. But it was nice to see him beam up and enthusiastically explain every little detail to me. And it was more fun to see a stunned look on his face after he cut himself off upon drawing the last line. Right now, on the piece of the paper was the final form of the graph, but it wasn't like those typical ones in the textbook. This one, it was different and in the shape of a heart, a perfectly curved heart. He was speechless for a while before looking up from it, an expression of disbelief on his face.

"W- Wait-" He struggled to talk. "Is- Is this intentional?"

Just like Allen had said, it was rare to see the infamous Mr. Baldi stutter, so he must be in shock right now. I took in a deep breath before standing up, tone turning serious but softer than ever.

"Mr. Baldi, this isn't actually what I merely saw on the Internet. I… I made it myself with some research." I gulped, trying to regain confidence. "I know this isn't much, but I want this to be something special to show you my gratitude, to thank you for… everything you've done for me."

He was silent for a while and I took that chance to continue, to pour my feelings out for him.

"You're… you're one of the best teachers I've ever had." I said as I tried to calm my heart down. "You may seem cold, but you show me support and care whenever I need it the most. Not only that but you also help improve my grade. Bringing it from a D to a B is something very impressive and not easy to do, which is one of the many reasons why I feel extremely indebted to your help."

The tears in my eyes were ready to burst, but I tried to keep going.

"Summer is approaching, but I somehow feel sad about it. I will be an eleventh grade student next year and I'm- I'm afraid that I won't be able to attend your class a- anymore. I- I don't want it to happen…"

No longer able to hold back, I let tears roll down my eyes. Just the thought of not being able to see him in class seemed to weigh me down more than it was supposed to. I won't be able to listen to his lectures and his voice anymore, which I would definitely miss. I could no longer see him after class ended, and the only places I could see him was on the hallways or in the schoolyard.

Deep in thoughts, I didn't notice his hand until it touched my head. Being jolted back into the present, I looked up to see that he had moved from behind his desk and was now standing next to me. On his face was the brightest smile ever, and this one he wasn't trying to hide. It was shown clearly on his face, a smile wide and big, showing his perfectly white teeth.

"I can't believe it." He said, laughing a little. "One second ago you were being all proud that you were able to trick me into graphing those functions, and now you were crying over an emotional confession."

His words told me that he was teasing me, but I could see genuine care behind them. He gave my head a little rub as he bent down a little so that his eyes were leveling mine.

"April, you make me happy as well, don't you know that?" He gently said. "As a teacher, I couldn't be prouder when I see my student have a big and postive change in their studies. I did help you, but you played an important part in it too. You are very determined and hard-working, which was an crucial factor in helping you succeed. You should feel proud and accomplished."

He wiped the tears in the corners of my eyes. "And I teach all grades, which means you can still attend my class anytime. So don't worry, okay?"

My eyes lighted up instantly. "R- Really?"

"Really." He nodded. "Don't cry over it anymore. It… pains me, you know."

I wiped the tears away from my eyes. With the purest joy and happiness, I showed him the biggest smile ever. It wasn't forced or awkward like usual. This smile… for the first time, it felt natural and genuine.


	14. Fire Under the Sky and Stars

This felt just like my first day at this school. Happy and excited chatters filled the air, making my heart smile.

It had been about a month since I officially became an eleventh grader, another year in my high school life and one step closer to my senior year. Returning to school this year wasn't as stressful as the last one. Of course, resisting the urge to stay in bed and sleep in would forever be a never-ending pain, but there was no denying that I had to worry no more about many things. No need to feel anxious when I stepped foot into the school, because I'd familiarized myself with it for a whole year. No more worries about making friends, because I'd already met and become close to so many awesome people sitting around me. And those amazing friends, they were in purest joy upon hearing that there would be a something fun coming soon.

As soon as homeroom session rolled around, Mrs. Robin came in with a big smile, annoucing that the school was having a two-day field trip next week, and the destination would be a big forest pretty far away from school, about seven hours away. It sounded like a long and thrilling trip, so everyone was ecstatic, some even shouted loudly, and they all started talking and planning all the interesting things they could do there. Knowing my three friends too well, I was already what they would do before they even mentioned it. Allen would be running wild all over the place, Jessie would take lots of pictures and Hannah would take her time and inspect every new plants and creatures she came across, taking notes in the process. Being a nature lover myself, I would probably join Hannah.

"Now now, settle down, children." Mrs. Robin said with a little laugh. "You can discuss about it all you want after school. But right now, you need to hear about the important things first. So, first off, the time you need to be at school is…"

She went on and told us the schedule, where else we would be visiting along the way, what we should bring and so on. Everyone was sitting quietly and listening attentively, except for the tiny chatters here and there, until she got to the part about which teacher would be coming with us.

"About the supervisors…" Mrs. Robin, for some reason, paused for a while. "Usually, Miss Isabelle would be coming with us, but this year it's Mr. Baldi who will join our class."

My whole class looked as if their souls just left their bodies.

"W- W- _What?!_ " A student protested. "W- Why?"

"Calm down everyone." Mrs. Robin stepped in to stop the panicking. "I know you all like Miss Isabelle a lot, but she will be on a business trip by the time we depart, so we need someone to replace her."

"It's not even about not having her here!" Allen whisper-shouted because it wasn't good to yell when the entire class was a mess. "Why _him_ of all people?!"

"How should _I_ know?" Jesse said back in the same volume.

My class was literally in _chaos_ at that moment, the colors having left everyone's faces. This also reminded me of last year when it was time for Mr. Baldi to introduce himself. The same thing had happened and I was frightened as well, all of my senses being alarmed all at once. But right now, I felt so different from others because I was completely… calm. Unusually calm comparing to the air of dismay in the classroom. And for the first time in forever, I was certain of the reason. Over the past few months, I found myself getting more and more close to Mr. Baldi. I attended his class regularly without complaining or hestitating to open the door to his classroom. Of course, the air during his class was still nerve-wracking, but it no longer felt unsettling or threatening to the point that it was suffocating. I could still recall that one time when I saw him walking in front of me, and I was about to run up and greet him when I suddenly remembered that I was in the hallway surrounded by people. My friendly interactions toward an infamous teacher would immediately attract bad attention, especially from the ones who loved juicy gossips. At this point, I was pretty sure no student in this school had yet to see his good side beside me, and they still kept an image of a demonically strict and frightening teacher who only cared about perfection.

_Why?,_ I thought. _Why am I the only one?,_ I kept questioning about it as I gazed absentmindedly out of the windows, seeing how the large trees from afar was soon coming into view.

We had arrived.

The forest was on a high mountain, and the view was just as I expected – magnificent and having a wild beauty. I was stunned by how gorgeous everything looked, from the little bushes on the ground to the giant trees whose branches towered high above, its leaves letting the small rays of light shine through. I could even the tiniest and colorful flowers growing around the tree roots and even some friendly animals here and there. I'd always appreciated these school trips because they were the only chance for me to see the outside world. My step-mother was the only one raising me, so her busy schedule prevented her from taking me on a vacation. But even if she had had time, she wouldn't have agreed to let me out of the cage either. The only trip I would be having was to extra summer classes.

I was so amazed by the surroundings that I wasn't really paying attention to the other things until a voice spoke up from behind me.

"You sure are loving this place, aren't you?"

Startled, I turned back to see Mr. Baldi walking right behind me.

"Oh- uh, yes, yes I am." I stumbled over my words. "I've always loved the nature since I was young."

"I know."

It took me a few seconds to take in what he just said. It amazed me how such two simple words could make me think so much. "You… know?"

He averted his gaze as if regretting his choice of words. "Because you were so busy looking around that your classmates have walked ahead of you. You should hurry if you want to catch up."

"Oh, right, sorry!" I quickened my steps upon seeing how far I was from everyone else. Silly me, why did I think his words meant something else? But even so, I wouldn't be able to figure out a possible alternative meaning anyway. I just shrugged it off, though his troubled expression still remained in my mind.

Night soon fell after a long, restless day of fun and learning. The fierce red and orange color of the fire contrasted the dark shade of the sky above, its sparkles slowly flying up the air. We sat around the fire and grilled marshmallows, a must in a camping trip, while sharing stories and telling what we'd learned today. One of my musically talented classmates even brought his own guitar and played it so that we could all sing a cheerful song together.

It was cozy in a way that almost made me cry, because it greatly reminded me of when I was still living in my hometown, studying at my old school. Never had I imagined those seemingly typical days could become recollections. I opened the album in the deepest reach of my mind, flipping through each page and took time to cherish each photo. Every afternoon after school, every minute in class together, every second by each other, telling every piece of our minds… Those memories, they seemed as if they were being laid out right in front of me. I listened to the tune of the guitar and the harmonical singing of everyone else, closing my eyes and reliving the old days. The days so far away, yet so nearby at the same time.

So far away…

Yet so nearby…

Just like that mysterious person in my dream.

I froze for a while upon remembering about him. That boy, he would sometimes come to my mind while I was deep in my slumber, making me wake up full of wonders and questions. I kept trying to convince myself that he was only a figment of my imagination, but the experience itself wanted to prove otherwise. From his voice, his laugh, to his warm touch, his caring acts… Every moment I spent with him in the dream world felt so real that it was scary in a way. It was like… déjà vu, like I was revisiting fragments of my memories I didn't even know existed. But then again, it was probably just my brain trying to make up for my not so happy childhood.

I grew up only knowing that my father got remarried to a different woman, the identity of my birth mother remaining unknown. Ever since the day my father brought a strange woman home, I had had a feeling that there was something else hidden under that façade of hers, but I never though it would lead to this _mess_ of a life. Every of her act felt insincere, from the kind words she said at the dinner table to the way she told me shallow promises. Even to this day, I still couldn't believe how she was able to say "If you're his treasure, then you're my treasure as well". It gave me _shivers_ whenever I recalled that very moment she just straight up _lied_ to my face with a _wide smile._ She never looked at me with true kindness. She never looked at me like anything other than an obstacle. In her eyes, I was a troublesome child threatening to get in her way of claiming my father as her own. And I was sure that to her, my father was nothing other than her personal money bag. She kept me away from my dad, and every time she hugged him, her eyes were always on his pocket, not his face. Her sweet acts and excuses to steal my dad's attention and get to his money, I had seen them too much but could do nothing about it.

I was neglected, I was mistreated, but my father knew nothing about it. My step-mother used every method she could to keep her "loving mother" appearance in front of my father, even if it meant silencing me secretly. She told me nothing threatening, but her stare of a hundred knives was enough to shut every child up. _"Say one word about this and I'll make sure that you're on the police's missing children list"_ , that was the message I got from those empty eyes.

Days by days, my step-mother's mask was crumbling away piece by piece. I could tell that she was starting to get tired from putting up a nice face. So when my father passed away in a car crash, she shed no tears. Everyone was praising her, saying that she was a mature young woman who was in control of her emotions, not letting them affect her daughter's spirit. But as I stood beside her in front of my father's grave, I saw a smile behind the flowers she held in front of her face. My father's loss meant that she got to inherit his fortune without having to pretend to be a good mother anymore. Seeing her smile made me fear the worse for my future. And indeed, my fear was proven to be true.

_How did everything turn into this?,_ I thought, letting out a small sigh as I gazed up at the stars above.

It was late at night and everyone was already asleep in their tents. But I found myself unable to sleep, not with so many unanswered questions and tangled doubts. And whenever I have troubles stuck in my mind, I came to nature and sought comfort from it. The mountainous surroundings around me were quiet and the dark sky above was gorgeous, the stars like millions of tiny diamonds sparkling brightly. I closed my eyes, letting the chilly wind pass by gently as if it was soothing me. I looked around and felt it – unspoken words of comfort trying to reach me. I smiled, taking in a deep breath and letting out a sigh that carried my worries and fears. Nature had always been there for me when my own family couldn't, I had realized from a very young age.

"It's late, April."

A voice spoke up when I was not expecting it, but it didn't scare me somehow. Maybe it was that significant deep tone of my Math teacher, the one I found myself slowly getting closer to. I turned around and was greeted by those same black eyes that was as dark and pretty like the starry sky we were under.

It was a strange feeling, strange in a way that made my heart pound. Alone with my teacher under the night sky in the middle of a scenic forest, it made strong emotions stir up in my body and no word could describe it accurately. I would have said that it was romantic if the man behind me hadn't been my teacher.

"Oh, Mr. Baldi…" I forced myself to break the silence between us, even if I really had nothing to say.

"Everyone's asleep." He continued. "What are you doing out here?"

"I… can't sleep, mister." I answered honestly. "What about you?"

He was silent for a while before sitting down next to me. Before, I would have mentally screamed when I saw him getting near me. But right now, I didn't mind at all, just like how I was completely calm when Mrs. Robin said he was going with us. I could see that he was keeping a reasonable distance between us, and I secretly smiled, knowing that he understood and respected my personal space. After a few minutes, he finally replied.

"Can't sleep either."

And after that, everything fell into silence once again, the quietness going over us. Sneaking a glance over him, I engraved in my mind a magnificent sight that no one could ever witness. I watched how the subtle glow wash over his fair skin, giving it a beautiful glow and magical feel. His eyes reflected the light, shining more brightly than ever like the most stunning gem. He stared deeply up at the sky, his expression calm and collected, free from the everyday troubles. Each second flew by, no word necessary. It was just us appreciating the gorgeous things this world had to offer.

"Time never waits anyone, does it?" I blurted out. "I'm in my third year of high school now. It feels like yesterday when I just arrived here."

He slowly turned over me, his eyes focusing on me. "Yeah, to think you used to be such a shy girl…"

"Y- Yeah…" I blushed a little, embarrassed. "It amazes me how I've gotten more used to being with you. Normally, I'd try to run away by now."

He chuckled. "Is it because of my reputation at school?"

"N- No, it's just…" I stuttered, unable to deny that it was partly the truth. "I've never been this close to any teacher. And plus, you always look so… distant, so I thought you didn't want anyone to bother you. But you turn out to be the opposite. You're… kind, Mr. Baldi."

I looked at him with eyes full of appreciation and sincerity as I said that last sentence. On his face was a smile, but a rather sad one. "'Kind' isn't exactly a right word to describe me, April."

"I'm being honest!" I exclaimed without hesitation. "You've always been there for me so many times, when I got bad grades, when I was bullied… I couldn't convey how much I'm grateful of those times!"

He let out a sigh, a gentle smile still on his face.

"I'm… actually happy to hear those words, April…"

He looked down at the ground as if trying to hide the tears from flowing out. "I'm aware of how much students are afraid of me. In their eyes, I seem to be a demon sent from hell itself. However, I can't say that they're wrong."

Even though it pained me when I heard those words, I couldn't really deny that it was the truth, unable to blame the students for feeling like that. I had used to be in their shoes months ago, so I perfectly understood their way of seeing Mr. Baldi. I had been one of those who could only see bad things in him.

He exhaled as he looked up again. "And yes, there are those who look at me differently, but it's not anything better. They are ones who seek affection goes beyond the boundaries."

I immediately got what he was hinting – the ones who wanted sexual attention.

"They said they were 'in love' with me, but only in bedroom." His eyes narrowed. "They never care for me or show signs of real fondness. But then, they don't even bother attending my class in the first place, so I expect nothing more than that."

I was silent the whole time, not knowing how to respond. Should I be angry? Sad? Sympathetic? Unable to decide on my course of action, I found it easier to just remain quiet. It was better than saying something so bad that it was awkward.

Seemingly having noticed my quietness, he chuckled and patted me on the head, something that was starting to grow on me. "I'm sorry, is that too much? I shouldn't be talking about it to my student, should I?"

"No, it's..." I trailed off, trying to think of something to say. "It's actually good that you told me, mister. It shows that you find me trustworthy enough to confide in me."

He looked at me for a few seconds before speaking up again. "You know, you're kind of similar to someone I know."

I perked my head up, eyes filled with curiosity.

"She's also a quiet person, a little shy and reserved…" He gazed at the horizon. "But when the time comes, she can be very affectionate and become someone I can trust and share my thoughts without feeling afraid. And she's worried easily too."

"Where is she now?"

I regretted that question immediately. Because as soon as I finished it, his eyes narrowed once more, carrying a sorrowful feel.

"We lost touch. Forever."

I hugged my legs tighter. "I'm sorry, mister…"

"It's okay, April. It was a long time ago." A reassuring smile appeared on his face. "Say, what about you? Do you have anyone you really trust?"

I hesitated for a while. "Well, I have my friends, but there's this one other person…"

"Is it the one that gave you the pendant?"

My eyes widened in surprise. "H- How did you know?"

"Do you remember that time I brought you to the nurse room?" He asked and waited for me to nod before continuing. "You were shaking a lot, but your hands kept clutching on that pendant like you were afraid to lose it. It must be something very important for you to be like that."

I was stunned, surprised that he noticed that detail. Sighing, I pulled the pendant out from under my shirt and gazed at it. "Yes, it's very important to me. It's always been by my side and it helps calm me down, soothing me whenever I need it." I held to close to my chest as I gripped it. "I couldn't remember who I got it from, but I have a strong feeling that that person is silently watching over me from afar, and I hope to find them soon. They feel so distant but also so close at the same time."

I turned over him and caught a smile of relief and hope on his lips. But how come he was relieved? What was he hopeful for? Happy that I had someone I could trust? As I was still deep in thoughts, I felt a hand on my shoulder, catching my attention.

"Well, then I hope that you will find that person. I wish you luck."

I nodded with a wide smile on my face.


	15. Scattered Fragments

_I'm sorry Mr. Baldi. I lied._

I pledged an apology to my teacher as I took each unhurried steps forward, letting my tears blend with the raindrops pouring harshly from above. My hair were soaked, clinging onto my face like how my clothes stuck to my body, but I didn't care. I looked up at the sky with hollow eyes, its dark color representing my future. The streets were empty, save for a few cars still on the streets. It was a big rain so the majority of people decided to stay in until it was better. I, on the other hand, had thrown my common sense away long ago. I should be running, I should be scared when there was nowhere to hide from the rain. But instead, I felt nothing. I felt empty, in contrast to the suitcases I was pulling alongside me. Why should I be afraid when all hopes were gone?

I thought back about the day the midterm results came out.

" _Congratulations, April. Another success."_

_Mr. Baldi smiled down at me, rubbing my head again. He had a habit of doing it whenever he was proud of me, but he only did it when there was no one around. Being afraid of the infamous Math teacher, as soon as the bell rung, every student had rushed out of the classroom as quickly as they physically could. Unlike them and my old self, I felt no need to hurry. I wanted to spend more time with him, even if it was just for a little bit._

" _Thank you, Mr. Baldi." I shyly replied, glancing at my B briefly before looking up at him. "But I'm a little disappointed. I was aiming for an A."_

" _Hmm? Why is that?" He asked, his eyebrow lifting a little in surprise. "You were very happy with a B last year."_

" _Well, I was, but…" I looked away for a few seconds, my smile disappearing immediately as worries and fears rushed to my mind. My hands were shaking, but I tried to hide my concerns because I didn't want them to affect his spirits. "I'm trying to improve, mister. I want to do better than a B."_

That was a lie and I knew it from the bottom of my heart. I wanted to be content with a B, but my step-mother didn't allow it.

_You're a failure and a shame to me._

I repeated those words over and over again in my head, feeling them haunt me and my soul.

I just turned eighteen this January. That meant I had officially entered adulthood. Most of my friends wished their had an early birthday so that they could become an adult faster and live an independent life, doing whatever they wanted without worrying about their parents' permission. But then, I was the opposite. I wished I had been born late so that I would stay a minor for as long as I could, and the reason was my step-mother once again, just like the source of almost every problem I had encountered during my entire life.

Just a few hours ago, I was just a normal schoolgirl. I was on my way back home when I suddenly saw two big suitcases placed in front of the main entrance to my house. I raised an eyebrow at them, thinking that someone visited our house but somehow forgot to bring their suitcases in. However, upon approaching them, I saw a note, its first words hitting me like an enormous rock falling down from a cliff.

_April, if you're reading this, take your stuff and don't come back._

My heart skipped a beat as my head began to ponder the question of what it meant. There was only one possibility, and it wasn't a good one. I continued reading even though the first sentence was enough to tell me everything.

_You don't belong to this family, because I don't have a dumb child like you. Seriously, another B? How stupid are you? Can't you try harder and get an A? Don't you know how heartbreaking it is for me? As a mother, I've tried my best to provide you with everything and yet you can't even make me proud, not even once? I could've kicked you out right on your 18th birthday, but I was still too forgiving and gave you another chance. But after that pathetic midterm results came out, I decided that I've had enough. You're a failure and a shame to me._

_Don't even bother calling the police or anyone for help. You're an adult now, so have some damn responsibilities._

That note was enough to explain her demand for my spare key this morning, before I left for school, with no context at all. I had no permission to enter that house ever again, that was the reason.

That crazy and unreasonable perfectionist was off my shoulders now, but then many other burdens fell onto me. I just got a job two months ago, so my savings weren't enough to last me even a month. My mother weren't really a generous person either, meaning the amount of my monthly allowance could be counted on the fingers. Where could I even stay with such little amount of money? I couldn't bring myself to stay at one of my friends' place because all of them still stay with their parents. Telling them that I got kicked out of my house would just make their family look at me in pity and even antipathy. And what apartment let me stay with that much money? I didn't just have to worry about rent, but also food. I still had to pay for my tuition fee as well. I was still an eleventh grader, so I had one long year to go before I could reach my graduation day.

It had been hours of walking and I had stopped repeating the question of "What should I do?" just now. Maybe my mother was right after all. I was a failure at life who didn't even know what to do or how to act despite being an adult. The sun had set long ago but I was still moving forward somehow. I didn't know why. There was no hope for me, so why was I still walking? I didn't even know where my feet were taking me. To a homeless shelter, perhaps? It was nearly impossible, really, because I didn't know the way to one. I had an ancient _flip phone_ for crying out loud, so trying to look it up on my phone was out of the question. It was possible that I was just wandering absentmindedly around the city. It was Friday night, the time where students had fun after a long restless week, yet here I was, on the streets with nowhere to turn to. People were probably looking at me like a weirdo walking under the hard rain without any umbrella or protection at all.

The dark way in front of me suddenly became blurry, my body losing balance and falling to the ground. My legs were sore and my entire body felt sick all over. I tried to get up but then saw no point in it. My life here was over. I was done with all these suffering. This was where I would leave this world, on the streets as a homeless and useless girl who was kicked out of her house. Why bother getting up when I had no purpose in life, no dream to pursue? I decided to just sit there and slowly let my eyes close, drifting to wherever my mind wanted to go.

…

"April! April!"

Was that the voice of heaven calling to me upon my arrival? It must be, because I had been unconscious for a while now. The voice sounded so distant, echoing from afar.

"April! Wake up!"

"Wake up"? What did they mean by that? I was no longer in this world anymore, so why waking up in the first place?

" _April!_ "

Someone yelled at me, making me jolt in surprise and forcing me to open my tired eyes. The rain was still pouring, but instead of the streets, I caught sight of two gems that were shining brightly among the darkness surrounding me. Those two gems stared at me intensely as the voice screamed again.

"Please don't scare me like this! I can't lose you again!"

Upon being pulled back into reality, I realized that it was Mr. Baldi, the person I lied to, who was kneeling in front of me, shaking me and desperately trying to revive me. Why was he here in the first place? Why did he care so much for me? Why was he trying to bring hope to me again? Why were there concerns in his eyes? Why was his expression filled with panic? I was an outcast, someone who shouldn't be born from the very beginning. I saw no reason why he should be worried for me.

I soon found myself falling into unconsciousness once more. But before my eyes completely closed, another scream from him was heard as my pendant gleamed more brightly than ever.

* * *

" _Woah, what a cute little pup!"_

_A voice was heard as soon as I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was a young girl running past me, her hair flowing along with her quick little steps. Upon closer inspection, my heart skipped a beat upon realizing that I recognized her. She was the girl I always saw whenever I looked at my family pictures from many, many years ago. In other words, she was my younger self. From her little pigtails, the hope gleaming in her eyes,… I remembered them all. I followed her steps as she ran to a little puppy sitting inside a box._

" _I wonder who left him here." A young boy followed suit and looked down at the girl while she happily petted the dog. My eyes were stuck on that boy for some reason. He looked young, probably still early in his teens. His brown locks softly flowed with the wind and his dark eyes was bright and charming. Even his smile was so stunning, a smile that held the beauty of youth, hopes and dreams. I could have stared at him forever if the girl hadn't spoken up and pulled me away from my thoughts._

" _Ah, he licked my hand! H- Hey!" She giggled, her voice sounding so innocent and pure. She was me, but we were like two completely different people. She was free from any anxiety and doubts while I was always worried about almost everything, my eyes dull unlike hers._

_Just when my mind was beginning to wander again, she said something that sent electricity through my mind._

" _He's so sweet. I just met him a few seconds ago, and I already love him."_

_Those words kept echoing in my head over and over again, ringing endlessly in my ears. Wasn't that what I said when I first met 1_ _st_ _Prize, the friendly robot at my school? And moreover, I said those words when I was talking with… Mr. Baldi._

" _Too bad my parents don't allow pets." That boy let out a sigh, cutting my lines of thoughts. "You can't take care of him either, right?"_

" _Yeah…" The girl had a small frown on her face. "I'm a little sad, but I love my mom. She's allergic to dogs and my family doesn't blame her for it."_

_Right from the bat, I had already figured out that she wasn't talking about my step-mother. If she had been, she wouldn't have said that she loved her mom, because that was simply impossible. No sane child could love an abusive woman like her. Moreover, my step-mother wasn't allergic to dogs._

_Wait, so was she talking about her birth mother? Then did that mean…_

" _What are you looking at over there, kids?"_

_A voice of a seemingly older woman spoke up and I turned to its direction, my eyes widening in bewilderment. I saw two adults approaching while walking beside each other. My eyes were on the verge of tears when I caught sight of my dad, the man I'd always loved even after he had passed away. But more than that, walking beside him was a woman in her mid twenties, and it wasn't my step-mother who always had a scary aura whenever my dad wasn't around. This woman had a gentle smile and gorgeous brown eyes like mine, her dark ponytail hanging low on her shoulder. And from the ring on her finger that matched my dad's, my heart beat uncontrollably, tears starting to roll down my cheeks._

" _Mom! Dad!"_

_I unconsciously rushed toward them with my arm outstretched, feeling overwhelmed upon finally seeing my own mother and father after so many long years of being separated. But just as quickly as it came, the emotions rushing over me stopped abruptly when my hand went straight through my mother's body. I took my hand back out of fright and my body started to shake. When I finally had a look at my hands, I found out something terrifying – they were transparent just like my entire body, and I was in a white dress instead of my usual attire. Was this why my body had been feeling so light, as if I was floating on air? I screamed, hands gripping my hair, but my voice seemed unable to reach them. They were just talking normally like I didn't exist at all._

_However, to think more about it, there was a high chance that it was true. I tried to get used to the fact that I was basically invisible to them, my voice in vain and not getting to them in any way. Looking at my parents and my younger self, especially my mom, it was now right to say that this was a fragment of my lost memories. What happened that made me not remember this, I had no idea. But this was probably the one and only opportunity for me to get back my memories, to find out what really went wrong in my life. I secretly prayed that I wouldn't just suddenly wake up without knowing why I forgot everything from before I was ten._

" _Mom, there's a puppy here, but he looks so lonely… Neither of us can bring him in." The girl looked up at her mom. "What should we do?"_

" _Hmm…" My mom thought for a while before smiling. "How about we take him to an animal shelter? If we can't take care of it, then maybe someone else can."_

" _Big bro, what do you think?" My little self turned to the boy next to her._

" _Your mom's right, April." He patted the girl's head with a small smile. "That's probably the best solution."_

_As my dad picked up the box and they all walked away, my eyes carefully looked at my younger self and the boy. Did she just call him "big bro"? Were we blood siblings but got separated at some point in our lives? But if they were, then why would he say "your mom" instead of just "Mom"? Or was he just a friend whom I looked up to? The latter was probably the case._

_Out of the blue, my surroundings started fading. I panicked, trying to prevent myself from returning to the real world this quickly. "No!" I shouted even though no one could even hear my pleading. "_ _Don't end now! At least let me know what happened! I don't want to return this soon!"_

_I didn't know whether it was a coincidence or not, but as soon as I finished my sentence, the blank white space around me morphed back into another image of my forgotten memories. And just like that, I saw bits and bits of the events I had been missing my entire life. Some of the fragments even matched my dreams, except this time, the boy's face was revealed. I learned that this boy was a neighbor living right next to me and that we were very close. He shared every little thing he had with me, from a piece of candy to a toy. He played with me whenever he had some free times, either at his or my house. Also, he was very good at Math and often helped me with homework if I ever had any trouble. We could have been called siblings if it hadn't been for the fact that we were born into different families._

_Throughout my entire journey of recollecting fragments of what I had lost, I realized that my little self never called that boy by his real name. Or maybe she had, but those moments weren't shown to me._

_After another scene ended, while the world was morphing into another setting, I heard a distant voice from afar._

_**Happy tenth birthday, April!** _

_I guessed that it had some significance to it. I started to lose my memories when I was ten, after all._

_Just after that voice of many people rung from afar, a loud crashing sound came along with something that seemed like a news._

_The reporter said that there had been a train crash. It had fallen off a high cliff._

_Right after that, I heard the sound of ambulances and the sound of my father's cry._

" _Please, doctor! Please tell me that they're both fine! I beg you!"_

_The world completed its transformation and in front of my eyes was the sight of a hospital room. My ten-year-old self was lying on the bed with medical tubes connecting to her body, the heart monitor beeping loudly beside her bed. There were bruises and bandages wrapped around her entire body._

" _Sir, well, your daughter is still very weak right now, but she's not in danger anymore."_

" _Thank god!" My dad had on a relieved expression but he became worried once more, his hands shaking the doctor. "W- What about m- my wife? I- Is she okay?!"_

_The doctor was silent for a while, his head looking down. "We… We've tried our best, but I regret to inform you that she…"_

_That was enough to make tears roll down my dad's tired eyes. He just stood there as the doctor tried to comfort him. Witnessing this made my heart break into millions of pieces as well. My mom was someone very important to my dad. She was his wife, his partner in life and the woman that gave birth to his child, so it must have been such a horrendous news to him. Some people would have gotten angry at the staff, but my father was an understanding person so he just silently shook his head, tightening his fists to hold in the pain that would soon become a mental scar to his heart. Just then, my younger self woke up and let out a small groan._

" _M- My daughter… April…" He slowly walked toward his child. "S- She's alright… right?"_

" _Sir, it's true that she's no longer in a dangerous condition, but…"_

_The doctor didn't need to finish his sentence, because what my young self said next completely explained it. My dad was so in shock that his whole body froze, but he was still able to sit down and talk it through, though his daughter flinched away from him._

" _April!"_

_Someone burst into the room as he yelled loudly. It was that same boy but he had gotten a lot older and had turned into a young man, probably in his late teens. If it hadn't been for the intense situation at hand, I would have stared at him forever, because he strangely looked familiar now._

" _April! Are you okay? I'm-"_

" _Who are you?"_

_The ten-year-old girl repeated the question she gave her own father a few minutes ago. The young man stopped in his track as he stared at her in surprise._

" _W- What do you mean, April? I- I-"_

_My dad seemed to have understood why the boy looked like he was in disbelief. But again, he just shook his head._

" _She lost her memories, Baldi."_

_I was shocked as well, but not because of my condition. It was the boy's name that sent a bolt from the blue._

_Before my brain could even process what was even going on and why my teacher was in my realm of memories, my surroundings changed and came a scene where me, my dad and Mr. Baldi's family were standing outside my house. Our car was out of the garage and behind it was a huge truck where workers were loading my family's furniture._

" _Must you go, Mr. Clover?" Mr. Baldi's mom asked in a sad tone. "April was able to remember you last month, so I thought things were looking up to you."_

" _I'm sorry for moving so suddenly, but…" My dad looked down at the ground. "But my wife's loss… is too much right now. Staying here just seems to make me recall memories of her."_

" _I understand." Mr. Baldi's dad gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Farewell, Mr. Clover. We'll miss you. We wish you the best."_

" _I guess this is really goodbye. Thank you for the amazing times together..."_

_My dad said as he held his daughter's hand and led her to the car. But before my little self could get into it, Mr. Baldi gripped something in his hand before running up to me, shouting to get my attention._

" _April! Wait!"_

_I saw myself turning back to look at him in surprise. It seemed like the little girl wasn't afraid of him like when she was in the hospital anymore, but the look she gave him was distant and filled with unfamiliarity. Her eyes were no longer bright whenever she was with him, and that seemed to pain him when he looked down at her. The way he did that was exactly how he looked at me when I tried to stay away from him when we first met._

" _April, you may not remember this when you grow up, but I want to give you this so that I won't regret it. You may not remember me, but I want this to be my blessing to you, a guardian who will replace me and look after you."_

_He said, voice full of sadness as he gave me a green clover-shaped pendant._

_And that pendant, its sight seemed to trigger something in me. The world around me started to fade away, statics filled my ears as I held my head aggressively, screaming in pain as the realization hit me like a thunderstorm._


	16. Better Late than Never

I yelped loudly as I sat up quickly out of fright. My breath was hot and heavy, sweats covering my entire body. I unconciously brought up a hand to hold my forehead as my other hand clutched my chest, trying to calm my heart down. It was racing so rapidly that it felt like it could bounce out of my rib cage at any given moment.

My body was trembling. My breathing was unsteady. My mind was all over the place. I shakingly brought both of my hands in front of me. They were not transparent anymore. I no longer felt like I was floating in the air. I was back into the reality, sitting on a bed with questions and thoughts swimming messily inside my head. I gripped my head, not caring if I messed up my already messy hair.

I'd finished my duty of recollecting my memories.

Someone could have said that it was merely just a meaningless dream, but I found it hard to believe that theory. Everything felt so real that it was scary, from every corner of the places and interactions between the people. Those events, I knew nothing of until now. And that pendant at the end, it was like a thunder striking me, waking me up from the deep slumber I'd been in for eternities. For years, I had been wondering who was the one that gave me the pendant and watch over me every time I was scared, afraid and gloomy. At last, I finally got my long-awaited answer last night.

_Mr. Baldi…_

Speaking of last night, what happened anyway? When I was able to embrace the truth, I tried to calm down and looked around. I knew that I wasn't sitting in my room because I had no chance to even step a foot inside my house anymore. But what I didn't expect was a more spacious and organized room with a cozy and welcoming atmosphere. Even the bed felt soft and comfortable. I didn't have a mirror at that moment, but I was sure I had on a very confused expression. How the _heck_ did I end up in such a nice place with literally no money at all? Was I kidnapped? No no, if that was the case, they wouldn't let me stay in such a homey and bright room with no sign of threats. Plus, the windows didn't look like they were locked, and a wise kidnapper wouldn't just let their victim see an obvious escape like that. Then, was it a person who was kind enough to take me to their house? That was nearly impossible, really. It had been raining so heavily that from this view, they couldn't have been able to even see me on the streets.

"Argh!"

An exasperated groan left me as the confusion consumed my very soul. Taking in a deep breath, I tried to trace my way back from the start as I held my chin. So, to start off, I got kicked out of the house just because I wasn't a straight A student, but I wasn't going to bother getting angry about it right now. The most important thing at this moment was what went on _after_ that. I was walking mindlessly around the city, not knowing how far I was away from the place that had used to be my house. It started raining and I fell to the ground, slowly losing my consciousness just like how I slowly let my hopes and dreams slip from my hand. In fact, I had actually passed out before someone yelled at me and shook my body. I could still remember the hopelessness I had had when I heard them begging me to wake up and the panic in their eyes-

_Wait._

Their eyes… Those midnight dark eyes… They were the things that caught my attention, forcing me to focus on the person they belonged to. And then I saw… _Mr. Baldi._

My heart skipped a beat upon remembering the very last thing that was kept in my mind before I entered the realm of lost memories. If it was him who saw me last night, then…

The door suddenly opened just as that line of thought crossed my mind. I whipped my head to its direction and caught sight of the man in question, who had on a very surprised expression.

"A- April!" He rushed towards me, nearly dropping the breakfast tray which he then put onto the nightstand. "You're awake! A- Are you feeling okay?"

"Mr. Baldi, I-"

I was cut off when he suddenly touched my forehead. It really caught me off-guard, but to think more about it, I was more taken aback by what I just called him.

The formal title felt strange now. Was it because I was aware of what I had once called him?

"The fever's gone now. Thank god." He let out a sigh of relief. "I was really worried for you last night-"

"I remember."

I didn't care if I cut him off. I needed to let this out of my chest. What was the point of regaining my memories if I didn't let the one I'd forgotten know about it?

He raised his eyebrow before letting out a chuckle. "Remember what, April? Remember that I'm your teacher?"

I wasted no second to answer him.

"I remember everything that has happened before."

He was oddly quiet for quite a long time. Usually when things fell into silence like this, I would fidget because of how uncomfortable the awkwardness was. But today was different. The silence went by each second slowly and unhurriedly as I patiently waited for his reply. However, what he said next was out of my expectation.

"Ah yes, that. You passed out, so I took you here."

If this had been any other awkward situation, a little laugh would have acted as a hero who just came to the rescue. But at this very moment, it made my heart shatter into millions of pieces.

So this was the feeling of true pain – seeing him trying to deny it because it took me so long to remember that he'd already given up all hopes.

Unable to control my boiling emotions, I, without any hesitance, wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into an embrace, hugging him tightly as if he would vanish as soon as I let him go. I could hear the sound of my heart beating uncontrollably, and through our touching chest, I was certain that I could feel his heart thumping loudly too. He was frozen for a while before he was able to speak up.

"A… April?" He said with a wavering voice. "A- Are you okay? You're acting strange."

I was about to say something right away when my eyes started to water, but I tried to hold it back before I lost all the courage I had somehow managed to gather. I didn't know what had gotten into me that day, but I just knew I had to tell him as soon as possible before it was too late, before my anxious and worrying self returned.

"I got back my memories, big bro!"

Those last two words were on purpose. I left no room for denial.

A gasp left his lips, his breath hitching. I kept clutching his sweater, drops of tears finally rolling down my face, but I paid them no mind just like how I didn't care how I was starting to let out small sniffs. He was still sitting there frozen in contrast to his racing heart, and I was still there hugging him close to me. Many minutes went by and none of us had spoken up yet, but it was fine. I had taken my whole life to regain the precious moments I'd lost, so giving him a few minutes to take it all in was no longer a problem.

After what felt like forever, I felt two hands on my back, their heat spreading all over my body. And then, he hugged me back, my heart skipping another beat at the sudden movement, though I didn't mind it.

My shoulder suddenly felt wet, and when I looked at it, I caught sight of tears flowing from his eyes, staining my shirt. However, on his lips was a smile brighter than the sunshine outside. I found myself lost in his beauty for a second, and I could have stayed like that if it hadn't been for his trembling voice.

"It- It's been such a long time since I last heard you call me that…" He mumbled quietly between sobs. "You remember, April. You really remember…"

"I'm… I'm so sorry for taking so long…" I quivered a little, trying my hardest to . "I- I made you wait eight long years… I'm so sorry…"

"April…"

He lightly pushed me back so that he could look at me in the eyes. Even though I missed the warm embrace, it was all worth it when I could take in his gentle eyes and vibrant smile. It was the most brilliantly radiant smile he had ever given me.

"It's not your fault, so don't feel apologetic about it." He reassured as he wiped my tears away. "And don't cry anymore. You know I don't like it when I see your tears."

I was quiet for a few seconds before doing the same for him. "You should really look at yourself too, big bro."

It felt like a moment straight out of a fairy tale, but it was indeed happening right now. Everything went by so quickly that it was unbelievable. Two years ago, I was a shy and meek girl who was afraid of everything about her new school, including the Math teacher who was said to be ruthless and unforgiving towards students. It seemed like it was only yesterday that I was still trying to keep my distance from him, getting startled by just a touch on the shoulder on my first day in his class. It all happened so fast, us gradually becoming closer as each day passed by. And all the while, I had no idea that we had used to be even closer than that. But now, that was none of my concerns anymore, because I was now reliving those good old days. The teacher that I was always scared of, he was now laughing happily with me on the first day of our reunion.

Now that all the tension had gone away, I noticed that his outfit was slightly different from usual. He wore a green turtleneck sweater, something less formal than his attire at school. The way he dressed gave out a really comfy feel.

"So my wish's been granted…" He let out a sigh as he looked at the pendant hanging around my neck. "My wish that the pendant would act as a guardian watching over you…"

"Now I know why I feel safe whenever it's around. It's because it's a part of you…" I held the pendant inside my palm. "I think it's one of the most important elements that helped me get back my memories last night."

He became silent all of the sudden, and when I lifted my face up, I caught the worried expression of his that just came out of the blue.

"April, I don't want to ruin the mood, but…" He gripped my hand as he asked loudly. "What were you doing out on the streets under the rain like that?! I was literally in _panic_. I was never more terrified in my entire life!"

Like a helpless child being scolded, I averted my gaze, hesitating to speak up. "You should've been able to figure it out by the suitcases, big bro…"

He thought for a while before speaking up, though he had probably known why last night.

"Did you have a big fight with your dad?"

Well, maybe not.

But could I really blame him? After all, I was the one who had tried to conceal everything up until now. I had known ages ago that this would come sooner or later, that there was nothing to hide from him now, but why did I feel so anxious?

"No, because- because he passed away when I was thirteen..."

He immediately turned pale like a ghost, all colors leaving his face at once. "Wait, _what?_ "

I stayed quiet, afraid to look at his face. He wasn't really taking the news well, I could tell.

"B- But…" He stumbled over his words. "D- Didn't someone come to the parent-teacher conference with you last year? Mrs. Robinson said that every student of hers came with their parents that day!"

"Well, someone did come with me, but it wasn't my dad." I gulped, gripping the blanket tightly as I mentally prepared myself. "It was my step-mother."

He looked even more stunned than before. He leaned closer to me, eyes filled with concerns and worries. "Your dad… got remarried?"

"Yeah… He was probably lonely and depressed because of my mom's loss, so he needed someone by his side to help him get over the pain." I paused for a few seconds, debating whether I should add the next part or stop right there. In the end, I chose the former. "But if I'd been selfish, I'd have objected to their marriage."

"You don't get along with her?"

"Well, you can say that…" My voice was shaking as my hands clutched the blanket even more tightly than they already did. "She's the reason why I was out on the streets yesterday, after all."

His eyes instantly became fierce and furious when it eventually clicked, his voice full of distraught. "She… _kicked you out?_ "

"Y- Yes…" I knew he wasn't angry at me, but I still felt scared somehow. "S- She said it was because I… I never got an A…"

His face was of someone who was in pure disbelief. " _That's_ the reason?! Is this why you were upset about getting B last time?"

I just gave him a silent nod, not knowing what more to say. Or rather, I was afraid to. I kept pondering if I should continue giving him more information before he spoke up again.

"Now I know how you got these injuries."

That really startled me, because we were yet to get to that topic yet. I felt his stare on my arms and looked down. That was when I came to the realization that I wasn't wearing my long-sleeved shirt. The one I had on was a short-sleeved one, revealing all the bruises on my arms. However, they were all covered by bandages. He carefully held one of my arms, staring at it before talking in a quiet but enraged tone.

"I'm sure your dad would never ever hit you like this, so I told myself to believe you and tried to think that you're just not careful with things. But from the first moment you said that your step-mom kicked you out just for a grade lower than A, I'd already figured out that she was the one who hurt you. These wounds are new, and there are even some faded scars, so this mustn't be the first time."

I wanted to say something, but words were on the tip of my tongue.

"H- How could someone so heartless be a _mother?!_ " He then looked back up at me, his eyes filled with firm and showing no sign of hesitance. "Moreover, she kicked you out for such a _ridiculous_ reason. This is absolutely _unacceptable._ Tell me, do you want me to do something about this?"

"B- Big bro-" I stuttered. "I'm eighteen now, so…"

"Really?" He had a calmer tone now, for some reason. "Well then, this is easy. Move in with me and don't ever come back to that woman again."

My heart thumped loudly at that offer, my face reddening a little. "M- Move in with you? I- Isn't that a little… too expensive for you?"

He raised an eyebrow. He had his elbow on the edge of the bed, propping up his chin. "What do you mean, too expensive?"

"Well…" I trailed off as I thought. "For starter, you'll need to pay for food for another person, as well as other necessities. And not to mention, I haven't finished high school yet, so my tuition fee is still a problem. Of course, I have a job now, but I don't know if it'll be enough."

Instead of worrying, he just stared at me for exactly five seconds before laughing out loud. Meanwhile, I had a very bewildered look.

"What's so funny about it?" I pouted, rather offended that he wasn't taking this seriously. "I know I'm eight years younger than you, but that doesn't mean I can't think about my expenses!"

"You worry too much, April." He rubbed my head once he was done laughing to himself about it. "Let me ask you, do you think this house is nice?"

I looked around the room, though I had already had my answer ready. "Yes, it is. The bedroom is already so big as it is."

"Do you know how long I need to save enough money to buy it?"

I shook my head and saw a mischievous grin on his face.

"Eight months."

If I had been holding something, I would have dropped it right away.

"E- E- _Eight months?!_ " I exclaimed in surprise and disbelief, my hands gestures going all over the place. "N- No way! That's not even a full year. T- This house must be at least, like, three hundreds thousands dollars! H- How-"

"A little more than five hundred thousands, actually." He corrected me as if _that_ was the most important thing here. "The point is, the school pay me really well. Working there already means having insanely high salary. My college professors always said how good my teaching technique was, and I also do noticeably in my first five months, the principle was kind enough to give me a raise."

"Wow…" I gasped in astonishment. "That's incredible, big bro."

"Thanks." He grinned. "Anyway, what I'm saying is, you don't need to worry about money. Just leave it all to me."

"So… it's okay to come live with you?"

"Of course! However…" He suddenly got stern once more. "That just solves one of your two problems, which is to get a place to live. I still can't forgive her for the abuse…"

"B- Big bro, although what she did was wrong, but…" I hesitated. "Now that she no longer sees me as her daughter and kicked me out, I don't have anything to do with her anymore. So I don't want to get involved with her again, even if suing her means she'll be punished for her wrongdoings. I'd like to keep things like this."

He looked at me for a while, thinking really hard about it before sighing. "Okay then, but promise me that you'll cut all contacts with her. I want you to keep yourself safe from her."

"I know, big bro, and it'll be quick and easy." I said before looking around. "Where's my hoodie?"

He didn't answer, but stared at me instead. "Don't tell me that ancient flip phone in your hoodie pocket is yours."

"Uh… yeah." I replied as I scratched the back of my neck.

He face-palmed. Hard. "It's freaking 2020, April. Where the _hell_ can you even get one of that kind?"

"I… uh… My step-mother never bought me a smartphone, and I never asked for it either." I fidgeted with my fingers. "I knew she'd never get me one, as she said it'd 'affect' my grades."

He was so speechless that he wouldn't even remove his hand away from his face. I glanced back and forth, thinking of something to break the silence. "Oh, and speaking of hoodie, where are my clothes. I figured that my clothes were wet from the rain so-"

I stopped midway before I could even finish my sentence. If my clothes were wet, then he would have to change them for me. And if he had to change clothes for me, then he would have to-

"D- D- Don't get the wrong idea!" He frantically cut my line of thoughts. "Y- Yes, your clothes were wet, but I didn't dare take them off you so I just dried you with a towel and put on new clothes for you! I know it's bad to sleep in wet clothes but it's better than-"

His words were literally jumbled up and all said in a rush, but I could somehow understand him pretty clearly. Seemingly too flustered, he cut himself off and ran out of the room.

"F- Forget it! I'll get your hoodie and that damn flip phone!"

He slammed the door close, on his face was a bright red blush. _"I didn't dare take them off you"…?,_ I repeated it in my head.

Looking down at the rather baggy T-shirt, I inhaled and took in its scent. This was definitely his shirt, and I liked it.

Even a gentleman like him could get so bashful.


	17. The Last Encounter

"And… done."

I said as I blocked my step-mother's number in my phone's contacts.

"I guess that's the unexpected advantage of having a flip phone." Baldi sighed, still in disbelief that I had a phone this out of date. "You just press the block button and you can cut off your contact with someone. No worries about GPS, social media and stuff like that to help them track you down."

"I guess you can say that, though I don't think she'll bother finding me." I chuckled. "She's the one who kicked me out, after all."

"That's true…" It looked like he was still mad about what my step-mother had done to me, though he seemed to have decided not to talk about it. "Anyway, eat your breakfast or else it'll get cold, April. I made your favorite blueberry pancakes."

I almost forgot that I hadn't eaten anything yet because I was too caught up in the heartfelt moment of reunion, as well as the intense seconds of telling him everything that had happened in my life after we got separated. Looking over the nightstand to look at the tray, my mouth began to water at the stack of steaming hot pancakes, the syrup glistening and the blueberries fresh. I knew I shouldn't get sad right now, but this made me feel nostalgic all of a sudden. My mom had used to make pancakes for me almost every morning, and she added lots of fruits and whipped cream on certain special occasions. Even after she had passed away, my dad still tried to make some for me no matter how busy he was, because he knew how much I loved them. So when both of my parents had left me, I rarely had the chance to have a taste of it again. My step-mother always left for work very early, leaving me alone in the morning. And while I could make some myself, I preferred to just stick to cereal or toasts, as they were much faster to make. However, the main reason I didn't make them was that I had no desire to recall the good old memories.

I took the first bite, taking in the fluffiness of the pancakes, the sweetness of the blueberries and the sugary taste of the syrup. I was about to compliment his amazing cooking when he suddenly glanced at the clock on the wall and gasped.

"Oh my, is it almost time for school already?"

My body froze when I saw that it was almost eight in the morning.

"Ahh!" I yelped. "I'm gonna be late for school! I'm gonna-"

"Relax, relax." He laughed. "Today's Saturday."

I froze for a few seconds before my expression did a one eighty, changing from panicked to deadpan.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Sorry, sorry."

He chuckled, trying to stop laughing as he patted my head. Even though on my face was a pout, I secretly felt happy inside. This was the very first time I had seen him pulling pranks and making jokes like this. He had always been a serious person at school. He almost never laughed and he got irritated whenever someone tried to lighten up the mood with a joke. I could still remember how he had almost snapped just because Max told him a pun, a Math-related one too, on top of that. Needless to say, the whole class was _traumatized_ after that _._ That was enough proof to show how much he hated jokes, but right now, it was like he was a completely different person, an opposite version of himself.

"Speaking of school…" He spoke up, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I still remember how I had mixed feelings when I first saw you again last year."

"Mixed feeling?"

"Yeah, I was shocked, happy and sad at the same time." He had on a nostalgic look on his face. "I was shocked because I didn't expect that the new student would be you. I was happy because I got to see you again after all those years being separated, but then, I was reminded of the fact that you didn't remember who I was. You looked so afraid of me."

He then looked up and turned to me, a sad look in his eyes. "I must have look like a ruthless teacher to you back then, right?"

I was silent, thinking for a while before giving him my answer.

"Well, to tell you the truth… everyone that day was warning me about how scary you were, so I did feel… frightened. But now, I'm not afraid anymore, because I know that you're a kind person at heart."

I gave him a reassuring smile, and for a second, he seemed stunned. It was as if my simple words moved him in a way, and he stared at me with the look of bewilderment. I couldn't help taking in the beauty of the moment too. The sun was shining in through the window, illuminating the room with its morning light and giving him a magnificent glow. The birds were chirping and the butterflies were dancing with the colorful flowers under the warm sunshine. My heart smiled along with him, feeling hopes blooming in me. It was time I started over. I would make sure that I properly fixed everything that had gone wrong in my life and renewed my determination. I was going to show the world that I was no longer the meek girl who was afraid of every little thing. I knew it would take a long time before my heart could heal and become stronger, but with him by my side, I would surely make it.

* * *

"Josh, go get a grave ready for me. I'm gonna die today and I know it."

"I feel like I should be the one to say that."

If I had still seen Baldi as an ungodly strict teacher, then that short conversation would have perfectly described how I felt. We just had an Math exam last week and everyone was freaking out about how hard it was. But unlike my past self, I had high hopes for this exam. As I was no longer pressured by my step-mother's expectation, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, especially when it came to studying. Whenever I walked up to my desk in my room, I didn't feel that stressed out anymore, and instead, I felt determination surging through me. Of course, it was still tiring, but I didn't feel like a duty anymore. I was no longer studying for my step-mother, I was studying for myself and my own future. Baldi let me pursue my dream, which was becoming an animal breeder, so I didn't have to follow the hell of the schedule my mother gave me. Instead, I got to have an easier schedule and only attended compulsory Math classes. Even so, once in a while, I did change things up and take a few extra Math periods just to meet him more often at school.

"I'm a little worried." Max said as he held his chin. "That last exam was pretty difficult, so I don't know if I did that well."

Oliver gave him a glare of disbelief. "There should be a law forbidding teacher's pets like you from making that statement."

I chuckled as we entered the classroom. A wave of nervousness rushed to me, but what I wasn't expecting were the _deadly_ look everyone in the room was giving me. I froze in place, finding myself stumbling over my words.

"Um… G- Good morning?"

I laughed anxiously, feeling the need to run away from the others' stare right that instance. I didn't know what the heck was going on, but I could already feel the chills running down my spine and the sweats forming on my face.

"April, how could you _betray_ us like this?!"

I turned over to Charlotte, the brown-haired girl who had already walked up to my side.

"W- What?"

I raised an eyebrow as well as my voice, my expression puzzled and confused. Charlotte said nothing and pulled me to my seat, pointing to the piece of paper lying on my desk. Upon seeing the thing that made them act like that, my eyes widened, my feet stumbling backward as I covered my mouth in shock.

My body shook as my hands picked the piece of paper up, my eyes staring at the big letter in red ink on it.

I got an A.

I could have screamed in ecstasy if it hadn't been for the fact that I was in class. I was overwhelmed with joy, because it had been ages since I last got an A. In fact, it had been so long that I abandoned my determination completely. Ever since the moment I gave up, I had just been trying to get an A just to survive the pressure from my step-mother, not because I genuinely wished to have the best grades in the world. Now that I had finally managed to get an A by myself, determination and hope started to rusn back to me. This was definitely the start of something good, and I was going to make sure that I got back on track with my studies.

However, after the short moment of happiness, I was pulled back to the present and was aware of the fact that my classmates were still staring at me intensely. In their eyes, I probably looked like an alien right now.

"Are you a genius in disguise or what?" Charlotte shook my shoulders. "How long have you been hiding your true power?!"

All that was leaving my mouth was a bunch of stuttering nonsense. I really didn't know what to say, especially with how rapidly I was being shaken.

"Everyone, get back to your seat." Baldi said after the loud sound of the bell. "And stop interrogating April like that. It's natural that she did well on the exam, because she's been studying very hard."

My heart suddenly thumped at that statement of his. To everyone else, that just sounded like a simple compliment from a teacher to a student. But no one would know that it meant more than that. Ever since I started preparing for the exam, he'd been watching over me and taking care of me. I could still remember how surprised I was upon finding out that every night, he had stayed up with me until I finally went to bed. No matter how busy he was, he always made sure that I wasn't draining myself of my energy. He was the one who had seen me studying restlessly until very late at night, and that was why he was praising me for it.

It didn't feel like a teacher complimenting a student, but a brother being proud of his little sister. My face was burning up because of it, at least that was what I thought.

"I didn't know you had it in you, April." Max turned his head back to me as we sat down at our desk. "It seems like I have a new opponent."

"No no, I still have a lot to learn." I waved my hand in the air as I chuckled. "I'm not nearly as good as you yet."

"Yeah, she's right." Baldi spoke up as he took out his book. "She needs more practice to be as annoying as you."

"H- Hey!"

Max said out loud and Baldi just casually opened his book like he hadn't just _roasted_ his student. I couldn't help giggling at the sight, especially with how Max was pouting. He was always acting like a child, which was one of the reasons why I enjoyed his company. He was a genius, but he was still a little kid at heart.

After that, the lesson started and the day went on like usual. Well, that was what I thought until school ended.

Because I couldn't let others know that I was living with Baldi, I told Baldi that we should go home separately. So even when Baldi had a fancy car, I still had to walk home like always. He seemed to feel guilty that he couldn't drive me home, but it was for the sake of our secret, so I reassured him and said that it was okay. Today was the same as any other day. I parted way with Chloe at the corner of the streets and pretended to walk to my old house, but as soon as she was out of sight, I immediately went in a different direction and head to Baldi's house. However, before I could even turn on my heels, a familiar figure appeared right before me, and I flinched at the sight of that person.

Right before me was none other than my step-mother with a downcast expression on her face.

My heart started to beat rapidly as I slowly took a step back. Even though she didn't seem like she was going to hurt me, I still couldn't help feeling like I was in danger. After many weeks of not living in the eerie atmosphere around her, I found it even harder to face her without fearing for my life. The agitation hadn't changed one bit, the chills running down my spine as I eyed her every movement. Her calmness was exactly the reason why I was feeling so uneasy – I had expected her to sneer at me and coldly walked away, but she did nothing of that sort. On the contrary, she was just standing there silently, staring at me with sad eyes. She looked… guilt-ridden.

Disgust filled me at the thought of her feeling guilty. In fact, I was so disgusted that I had nearly laughed.

"April…"

Even her voice was soft, _genuinely_ soft, not like the small yet scary tone she always had when talking to me. Unable to handle the tragic difference, I shivered.

"W- What do you want?" I frantically asked. "I've walked out of your life like you've asked. What more could you possibly ask for?"

"Please April, don't be scared." She spoke with that same gentle voice as she approached me. "I just want you to come back."

The panic I was feeling was immediately replaced with many different emotions at once – shock, confusion and bitterness.

"I don't know you're so good at making jokes like that, _mother._ " I emphasized the last word in revulsion. I was actually impressed at myself for being able to even utter that word in the first place. "Don't play with my feelings like that. Please, I'm tired after a long day at school and just want to rest, I don't have time to stay here and entertain you."

"April, I'm being honest! I beg you, come back. " Her pleading voice became slightly louder. "I received your most recent grade last night. I saw that you got an A, so I… I regret it now. You're my most valuable treasure, April."

I completely forgot that she signed up for a program where my grades would be sent back to her as soon as it was updated, but that wasn't important right now. All I was feeling were resentment and hatred, instead of feeling sorry for her. And to _hell_ with the thought of considering going back. Honestly, how _shameless_ could this woman get? She just, with her own mouth, said that she wanted me back after kicking me out of the house herself. And not only that, she wanted me to come back because of a mere _grade,_ which was the exact reason why she kicked me out from the very beginning! I couldn't wrap my head around that fact, nor could I feel calm about all this. I wasn't just angry – I was her apology just made my anger double, because it was absolutely _disgraceful._

I ended up laughing.

"How ironic." I said in a tone filled with resentment. "You kicked me out because of a grade, and now you ask me to come back also because of a grade. Are those letters really that important to you?"

"April, listen to me!" She spoke after being stunned for a few seconds. "Remember that you're still my daughter!"

" _Daughter?_ "

My voice turned dark, and I started to approach her with each slow step. She walked backwards, shocked at my sudden change of attitude.

"You never treat me as your daughter, _ever._ " Memories of her threats rushed to me as I slowly tore her lies apart. "In your eyes, I'm just a trophy for you to show off. When that trophy turned old and dusty, you heartlessly threw it away like trash. But after someone found it and made it shine again, you suddenly come and claim that it's yours?"

She was speechless this time, and I took the chance to continue.

"And to be honest, you're never a mother to me either." I spat out the truth. "What mother physically and mentally hurt their kid just because they got bad grades? Sure, bad grades are never a good thing, but the violent things you did to me are still etched into my mind. It was straight up abuse. I can't believe that I managed to endure it up until now."

She looked shocked, probably because she thought a girl like me would never snap like this.

"I care for you, can't you see it?!" She spoke up finally. "I'm giving you another chance and a place to stay. Aren't you grateful?"

I let out a scornful chuckle.

"I'm sorry, but I don't need that house of yours anymore. I've found another place to live, and it's much better."

"W- Where is it?"

"I'm not that _stupid_ to tell you." I emphasized the word she had used to describe me. "And the owner of that house is also way nicer than you. Just like you, we're not blood-related, but they're not bounded to me by law. They could've just left me on the streets to die that night, they're not obliged to save me, but they treat me better than you ever would."

She seemed angry upon seeing me talk back to her. Her façade broke once more, and she swung her hand up, ready to hit me like she always did. I closed my eyes, readying myself for the pain, but nothing came.

"Miss, do not bother her like that."

That voice…

Baldi…

I opened my eyes and found him standing before me, using his ruler to stop her hand and block the attack. Why was he here, I had no idea. But it hadn't been for him, I would have been knocked over and fallen to the ground by now.

"Who the hell are you?" She angrily asked. "Get lost. This is none of your business."

"I apologize for being rude, but this _is_ my business." He pushed her hand aside with the ruler. "As her teacher, I'm responsible for keeping her safe from abusive parents like you."

"I'm her _mother,_ I have the right to take her back to my house!" She shouted as she pointed at me. "This- This _brat,_ I was going easy on her, but she just had to make things difficult."

"Miss, she's eighteen, so she's an adult now. You don't have the right to force your decision on her anymore." Baldi said calmly as he explained. "But even if she weren't an adult, you still can't use violence like that. It harms her development and mentality, and…"

He paused for a while before giving her a wrathful gaze.

"And I believe that's also the reason why she's been performing badly at school all these years."

Everything fell into silence the moment he finished that sentence.

"Nonsense!" My mother yelled at him in irritation. "Don't point fingers at me! She's the one at fault! She's been neglecting her studies, and she refuses to change, to my dismay."

"That's a huge lie." Baldi's voice was firm. "Lately, I can see that she's been making good progress, and she improves only after she's away from you. I don't think that this is just a coincidence."

Tears were forming at the corners of my eyes as he said that. Because of the accident ten years ago, I lost my memory and forgot the fact that I had used to be a straight A student. I didn't remember a single thing about it, so I had always thought that I was truly stupid like my step-mother said. Who would have thought that I had once been the model student everyone wished to become? When I first realized it a while ago, rage and sorrow had mixed together and made my head hurt.

Seemingly unable to argue back, my mother just idled there, trying to come up with something. But Baldi gave her no chance to do so.

"You're lucky enough that she's not reported you for abuse yet. If you continue to force her to come back with you, I'll do it myself."

Being pushed further by his words, she gritted her teeth helplessly and walked away with hurried steps. My eyes followed her as she dissappeared into the distance, away from us and my life forever. I hoped that this would be the very last time I saw her, because if she ever appeared in front of my eyes again, I didn't know if I could handle it. I was sure I would cry a lot, just like how my tears were staining Baldi's sweater right now.


	18. Unsolved Puzzles

"H- Hey, y- you're getting too close…"

I murmured, glancing away to avoid the suggestive gaze from the boy in front of me.

How did I get into this situation in the first place? I asked that, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the question I should be asking was: why was I even _surprised_ that this was happening? I was old enough to know that this guy had been hitting on me for a short while now. Actually, him hitting on me for "a short while" might be an understatement - he had been doing it for _months_. He was in the same Math class as me, and he stood out from the rest of the students. Attractive he was with red hair and sharp brown eyes. Not only that, but he was also smart enough to get decent grades, thus increasing his fame. Like many people would expect from a popular guy, his standards were high and he was extremely picky when it came to choosing a girlfriend. Him ending a relationship was no longer a surprise, as he did it very often. He was ready to leave a girl as soon as she showed any flaw that didn't fit his taste, at least that was how rumors put it.

During the first year at this school, he showed absolutely no sign that he was interested in me. Maybe because he already had a girlfriend. Maybe because he preferred the popular, flashy girls over me. Maybe he didn't like plain girls like me. Whatever the reason was, I was not his type and he had never cared about my existence. I could trip right in front of him and he wouldn't even bat an eye. Yet, here he was, flirting with me whenever he got a chance. He was shameless, and I knew exactly why. Girls barely resisted him, giving him the idea that he could get any girl he wanted, even though there was some truth in it. I didn't know when this started, but it must be around that time when I caught him checking me out in class. I thought that I was mistaken and that he was actually looking at the other pretty girls sitting behind me. However, after the fifth time, I was finally certain that he was looking at me.

Yes, not the third time. _Fifth._ Because this was so unreal that I didn't dare believe it even after the third time. No way a guy like him would notice me, but reality forced me to acklowledge the truth.

As days went by, his advances just kept getting more and more obvious. First he glanced at me, started talking to me in a very flirtatious manner. He then moved on to touching me, from my shoulders, my hands to my waist. And now, he had me trapped between his arms, all because I was dumb enough to fall for an overused, old-fashioned trick. School just ended about half an hour ago, and upon opening my locker, I found a note telling me to meet someone at the back of the school. Jesse had teased me, saying that it was definitely a confession. She was coincidentally correct, though this wasn't the normal, cute or heartwarming confession you'd see in comics or movies.

This guy was pushing it a bit too much and it was actually making me quite uncomfortable.

"I can't tell if you're oblivious or arrogant." He spoke in a low voice which many girls found sexy, but in this situation, it was more chilling than sexy to me. His breath hit my face, sending chills down my spine. "Any girl would've been head over heels for me from the moment they caught me staring at them. But you, you didn't even care and it's frustrating me."

You're the one frustrating me, I said in my mind. I wasn't just frustrated. I was also confused, which contributed to my frustration. I didn't just want answers from him. I demanded answers from him, answers to why he suddenly decided to pursue me. Sure, it really flattered me that a popular guy liked me, but this was beyond what I allowed. He was violating my boundaries. He was the opposite to Baldi, who was caring and respected my personal space. Before I could ask what was making him do this, he continued and replied to my unspoken question.

"You know, I can't even understand myself. You're very ordinary and plain, not someone I'd go for, so I don't know why I'm trying to get your attention. Maybe because I'm bored of those flashy girls, so I want a change."

I didn't know if that was the answer I was looking for, and I couldn't decide if his words were romantic or rude. My mind was leaning towards the latter. So, what he basically meant was, he went for me just for "a change"? I had already sensed some insincerity from him since the very beginning, but now I was honestly thinking that he was just playing with me. Guys like him were definitely not worth my or any girl's time. And did he really need to mention the fact that I was "plain" and "not someone he's go for"? Yes, I already knew I was typical from the moment I was born, no need to bring it up because it wasn't persuading me to date you. Not at all. Not even a single bit.

He kept inching himself closer to me, which made the situation worse.

"S- Seriously, p- please get off m- me…" I had no idea why I was still being so nice. I should have slapped him in the face long ago, and that was not exaggeration. This guy really deserved a slap for pushing others like this.

"Go out with me, April." Ignoring my plea, he kept on pressurinh me with that same deep tone. "You're driving me crazy and it's your fault, so you should do something about it, you know."

"No, please, you're too close-"

A loud sound was heard right beside me out of the blue, cutting me off and making me yelp. And not only that, I could also smell… _smoke?_ Slowly opening my eyes and looking to my right, all colors left my face when I saw that there were indeed smoke, and where it was coming from terrified me even more. It was a long yellow ruler, and judging by the cracks it had made on the walls, it seemed that it had been thrown very fast and forcefully, yet so accurately that it barely missed the guy's hand. Speaking of the guy, he was like me, being scared so badly that his face was pale. To be honest, I couldn't blame him. Just an _inch_ closer and he would have lost his hand.

"Oh, sorry, are you okay?"

Once again, both of us freaked the hell out when a third voice was heard, but it was even more frightening when I could recognize who it belonged to. Slowly approaching us with his footsteps echoing more and more loudly, Baldi appeared behind the corner of the hallway, his eyes narrowed and fixated on the redhead in front of me. Gosh, when was the last time I saw that blood-curdling look on his face? Only at this moment did I realize that it had been very long since he became less scary and more friendly. The change was so slow that it was unnoticable, but very perceptive people could quickly see that he wasn't like before. He no longer got enraged easily, and his ruler now was rarely seen slapping his palm whenever he got impatient. He became more tolerate, proven by that one time he forgave one student for not getting a B. Poor Ian, he only needed _one percent more_ to get the minimum grade for him to survive in Baldi's class. Normally, as long as the teacher in question saw a grade below a B, then that student's life was bound to be doomed, no exception. However, his expression was more like pity than anger and he brushed it off, which caused everyone in the classroom to wonder if a meteor would come and completely eradicate all living things on Earth that day.

It had been ages since I saw him this mad, which had me shivering even though he was the one who came to my rescue.

"M- Mr. Baldi… W- What are you…"

"I'm just checking if there's any lingering student. The bell's rung long ago, after all."

Baldi cut the guy off, not bothering to wait for him to finish his stuttering.

"It seemed like you're not hurt, Austin. That's good. I'm sorry if I scared you. It's just that… I suddenly heard voices, so I freaked out for a second and… _lost control_ of my ruler."

The way Baldi put it did not make it sound like his action was unintentional. If that had been the case, he wouldn't have looked so _calm._ And every freaking student in this school knew that he wasn't someone who would get startled _that_ easily.

"Exactly an angle of sixty-one degrees. My calculation is still as accurate as always."

And no, the fact that he calculated the angle did not help prove that it was an accident. This was definitely his way of telling Austin to stop whatever he was doing. The look he was giving the redhead was saying the same thing as well, and the fear in the latter's eyes was as clear as day.

"Don't stay here for too long, Austin. You better head home soon, and I hope that in the future, you'd only stay after school for actual _decent_ matters."

With that, not only did he turn on his heels abruptly, he also quickly took a hold on my hand and practically _dragged_ me along with him. The whole time we were going down the hallway, I couldn't help noticing his increasingly firm grip around my hand, how fast his pace was and how wrathful his face looked. No word was uttered between us as we went, and neither did us dare speak up. Maybe it was partly because we feared Austin could overhear us, thus exposing our secret of being childhood friends who were living together. However, it was more like we both needed to suppress our emotions – Baldi needed to hold in his temper and I needed to hold off my curiosity, as well as thousands of questions desperately wanting to leave my mouth.

Looking more closely at his face, I was brought back to that perplexing expression of his from last month. I and Max happened to be the first ones to enter Baldi's classroom that day, and from the very first moment I stepped foot into the room, I had immediately noticed something very strange. Max, being an oblivious cinnamon roll as he was, seemed like he saw nothing, but I did. What I caught was that dark look in the older man's eyes, in the pair of eyes that was glued to the piece of paper he was holding in his hands. He looked so furious and his grip on the piece of paper was so tight that he could literally tear it up at any second. Upon hearing the sound of the door opening, he hid the paper away and greeted us, acting as if he wasn't doing anything at all.

The look in Baldi's eyes right now, it was exactly the same as that dark gaze he had back then.


	19. Finding the Answer

This whole thing was stressing me out and I didn't like it one bit.

The afternoon when I was pushed against the wall by Austin, Baldi had come to save me, but he also gave me a long lecture afterward. He kept saying that I shouldn't have come there just because a note told me to, how I should have forcefully pushed that guy away from the beginning, and the list went on. He was basically _scolding_ me at this point, and while I knew that he was concerned about me, the fact that he kept repeating the same thing over and over again had me rolling my eyes. But on the other hand, I was glad that we had an actual conversation. Had he sealed his mouth shut the whole ride home, I would have gone crazy because of how uncomfortable the silence would have felt.

And yes, he made me get into his car and drove me home that day, instead of letting me walk home like usual. However, I didn't think much of it, as school had ended since so long ago that literally everyone else had gone home.

From that day onward, he gave Austin special attention, and it wasn't the good kind of attention. When it was time for his class, he kept glancing at the said redhead to check whether he was bothering me in any way. He wasn't afraid to show that he was always watching, and surprisingly enough, a bold guy like Austin actually got _scared_ and wouldn't even dare to check me out like before. Even outside of his class, Baldi still used his super hearing all the time to see whether Austin was trying to flirt with me.

At first, I was grateful of him for keeping me safe, until it became a little too much.

It all began this morning, when I was rambling to my friends about Baldi, specifically about how he had been too protective of me lately, all the while referring him to "a friend of mine" and leaving certain details out to avoid suspicion. I kept trying to convince myself that it wasn't a big deal multiple times. But at certain points, I had to get it out of my chest or else I would explode. Whenever I was seen talking to other boys, he wouldn't do anything about it, except giving that boy a deadly stare that sometimes scared off the guy and had him making up any excuse he could find so that he could escape in one piece. If that wasn't strange enough, he also started asking where I was heading to every time I was getting ready to go somewhere other than school. It might seem typical to some people, and truth be told, it had used to be normal for him to do that until his questions started to get excessive. I didn't know if it was just me, but it was as if he was trying to interrogate me rather than just casually ask where I was heading to. Strange behaviors from him appeared one by one, and it soon became too stressful to understand this sudden change. Therefore, a little venting was necessary to me.

I couldn't even remember what I was even saying, though the moment I had done talking, Jesse was smiling ear to ear.

"He's clearly into you."

I stared at her for a few seconds in bewilderment.

"Excuse me, but _what?_ "

I mean, I couldn't exactly blame her because she wasn't aware of who the friend in question actually was, but _seriously?_ Baldi? Being into me? What I was just told was certainly not something that I would even dare think about. It just sounded so… _surreal._ Baldi wasn't the problem here, of course. It was just that… the idea of us dating, it wasn't the possibility I had ever considered, not even once, which was kind of weird. We were childhood friends, we had searched for each other after being separated, we had united and now were living together. It would be perfectly understandable if we started to develop a romantic bond, yet none of us had ever thought about it. Plus, never had I dwelled on the fact that he didn't see me as someone more than a friend or sister… Or had I?

Jesse didn't know it was Baldi that I was talking about, which means she was looking at the situation in an unbiased way. That very fact piqued my curiosity even more. Who exactly did Baldi see me as?

"Girl, don't try to deny it." Jesse had on a smirk as she elbowed my arm. "A guy will never act like that unless he's interested in you."

"I totally agree." Hannah added, also with a grin clearly seen on her face. "If you feel the same way, you should consider asking him out."

"I… I don't know how I feel about this…" It was, by no means, a lie. I truly had no idea what my feelings were towards Baldi, just like how I didn't know how Baldi felt about me. "And I don't want to make any false assumption. What if he doesn't actually like me?"

"I have the perfect trick for you." Jesse exclaimed with a big smile on her lips. "Write a fake love letter!"

"Jesse…" Allen stared at the blond girl in disbelief. "She needs an actual solution, _not_ that old-ass stuff!"

"Trust me, it'll work." Jesse let out a huff. "That was how my friend in middle school got her bestie to confess to her. They're still a thing now, as far as I know."

"They still are?" I gasped in amazement, ignoring the two's argument. "That's incredible."

"April, you've _got_ to try it." Jesse seemed very excited. "You'll never know what'd happen unless you give it a shot, right?"

Without any further consideration, I nodded, too curious to think about the consequences that might follow.

"Now, you can't write the letter yourself, as he'll recognize your handwriting…" Jesse paused as she slowly turned towards Allen. "So we need someone to write it for you."

Allen had a very puzzled expression until something clicked in his mind. "Wait- No- Hell no! I'm not participating in this shit."

"Please…" Jesse emphasized the word while giving him the puppy eyes. "Help a girl out, will ya?"

The more Jesse leaned towards Allen, the more he flinched backward. "Can't you or Hannah do it?"

"Our writings are too neat, so we need a boy to write it."

"Are you saying that boys can't have good writing?" Allen said, still having the look of disapproval. "That's very stereotypical of you, you know."

"Come on, just do it for me. Just this time, okay?"

It looked like Jesse wasn't going to give up until Allen said yes, so he granted her wish with a groan. The bell rang, signaling the start of homeroom session with Allen regretting his life choices.

* * *

Show time.

With the letter Allen had written for me in my jeans pocket (poor him, he was cringing the entire time he was doing it during lunchtime), I stepped into my house with shaking hands. When I agreed to do this, I wasn't thinking about how nerve-wracking this would get. How would he react? That was the question that had repeated in my mind over and over again the whole time I was walking home from school. And I didn't even know why I was anxious in the first place. If I was sure that Baldi had no romantic feelings for me, then why should I even worry? Maybe I was afraid that he would give me a long lecture that seemed like it lasted an eternity again.

It was at this moment that I realized he would _definitely_ lecture me again. I face-palmed and let out an exasperated sigh.

But there was no time to think about it right now. Baldi told me he would be home a little late today, which was very lucky for me. But I had better hurry regardless, since I didn't know precisely when he would be back. As I closed the door behind me, I took a brief look around the house, pondering what I should do next. _Make it so that it doesn't look like you're trying to get him to read it,_ I recalled Jesse's words. So what she meant was, I should put it in a place where he could easily find it without letting him know that I purposely left it there. That place wouldn't be my room for sure, because I was certain he was nice enough not to snoop around my room. His room was a bigger no-no, so either the kitchen, dining room or living room would do nicely.

* * *

"I'm home, April."

Baldi's voice reached my ears, as well as the sound of the front door closing. I greeted him like usual as I turned away from the pot.

"W- Welcome home, Baldi!" I pretended to be surprised. "I'm sorry that dinner isn't ready yet. Are you hungry?"

"A little, yes, but I can wait."

I went to help Baldi take off his coat and hang it onto the rack, even though he told me that I didn't need to. The weather was rather chilly today, unlike the other days this week, so I chose to make his favorite vegetable soup to warm him up. Oh, and speaking of soup, it was my intention to prepare dinner late, because my setup required me to. I was surprised he didn't ask what caused me to start cooking later than usual.

"Then sit there and wait for me, alright? Dinner will be ready soon."

I gave him a smile and went back to the kitchen with a happy-go-lucky attitude. But on the inside, my mind was a mess and my heart was beating incredibly fast. My whole body was shaking so much that if I hadn't been extremely careful, I would have cut my fingers while preparing the ingredients a while ago. At first, I need to also hum a cheerful tune to further convince him that I knew nothing about what was going to happen. However, at this rate, my voice would tremble so badly that I could potentially expose myself, so I abandoned the idea.

I heard him sitting down the couch, which made me gulp. He would see the letter _for sure_ because it was lying on the coffee table, which was right between the couch and the TV _._ The letter initially came with a nice envelope. But then again, I knew Baldi was too much of a gentleman to open the letter without my permission, so I had to remove the envelope as I internally apologized to Hannah for not using it, because she was the one who made it for me. We didn't have a pre-made envelope at that time and Jesse was too eager to wait, so Hannah folded one with her crafty hands. I quietly let out a sigh when I realized how much effort that had gone into this trick that could only be used once.

One second…

Two second…

Three second…

Ten seconds…

Thirty seconds…

A total of one minute had passed and still no word from him. I sweated. My heart increased its speed. My hands quivered like an earthquake. I was too scared to check his reaction and expression, so I chanted "don't look, don't look" in my head and focused on the pot of soup. It was as though I would regret it for the rest of my life if I ever caught a glimpse of his face right now-

"April…"

I could have jumped through the roof if I had physically been able to. It was just my name, but due to the increasing tension building up inside me, it scared the ghost out of me. I gulped once more, readying myself for what I had signed up for.

"Yes, Baldi?"

Wow, I managed to say that more smoothly than expected.

"Can you… come here for a sec?"

I wordlessly turned off the stove, being grateful that the soup was done just in time, and proceeded to head to where he was sitting. As soon as I stepped foot into the living room, a heavy atmosphere hit me immediately, and needless to say, the look on his face absolutely sent _chills_ down my spine.

"Who gave you this?"

It was _that_ look, the dark look I had been so afraid of these past few weeks.

**To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for making you all wait for more than a month! I was busy with my college entrance exams and found no time to write. Now that I'm finished it, time to get back to writing! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to update soon.


	20. Unveiled

"Who gave you this?"

Baldi asked, his tone low and his eyes narrowing, and I gulped as the scary atmosphere that was engulfing the entire room. Trying to stay calm, I replied nonchalantly, at least as nonchalantly as I was capable of.

"I don't know. I found it in my locker this aftern-"

"What did I tell you about receiving notes from _strangers?_ "

He almost sounded like he was shouting at me. He was clearly not happy, which made me sweat as my heart thumped loudly in my chest. The fact that he had cut me off before I could finish my sentence further proved how screwed I was. No matter how angry he got, he always let me explain or at least say something before giving me a piece of his mind.

"I- I'm sorry…" I fiddled with my fingers in an apologetic manner. I wasn't pretending this time – I was actually frightened. "I… I was curious, so…"

He gave me a long, silent stare before continuing, and I could see the way he was gripping the letter so tightly that he could literally rip it apart at any given moment. "You're not planning on seeing him, are you?"

"N- No…"

I answered quietly, internally apologizing to Chloe for not following her advice, for which she scolded me the next day.

"What? You're supposed to say you were going to see that guy!" Jesse was saying it in a rather calm voice, but surprise and disappointment were written all over her face. "You have to make him anxious so that he'd have the urge to confess to you!"

"Jesse, I know that, it's just…" I let out an exasperated sigh, all the while letting my face lie on my desk. "Things weren't looking so good, so I didn't want to make him angrier."

"Wait…" Jesse said in a voice that made me _hear_ her raising her eyebrows. "He got angry?"

"Yeah… He was almost _pissed._ " I replied, sighing tiredly again as I lifted my face up and rested my chin on my desk. I'd be lying if I said I was exaggerating. That moment, had I said that I would go see that imaginary boy, he would have been _enraged_ for sure. Yes, I would have still gotten a lecture otherwise, just like yesterday, but at least he wouldn't go destroy the entire universe out of anger. Again, I wasn't exaggerating. Last night was _terrifying._ Even though all he did in the end was letting it go with a sigh, as well as telling me to be careful, I was still scared nonetheless.

"Then he's _definitely_ into you!"

And Jesse wasn't helping at all.

"How come?" I raised an eyebrow at her as I cursed my curiosity in my head. The last thing I should do right now was to not get involved in this again.

"If he doesn't like you, then he has no reason to get mad at you." Jesse said confidently as she crossed her arms, thinking as she looked up at the ceiling like a detective. "It seems strange, don't you think?"

"Yeah, she's right, April. A guy will never get mad at you for thinking of getting into a relationship unless he really likes you." Hannah added, and I didn't think there would be a day I would come to _hate_ her. She, along with Jesse, was pulling me back into this again by fuelling my curiosity. But then, could I really blame them, as they never knew what exactly went down last night?

"My head hurts." I let my face fall back to the desk again. "Guys are impossible to read."

"Girls are too, you know." I heard Allen sighing before he spoke. "How about you just ask him out? Being clear is less troublesome than this."

"What-" I was sure that I had never lifted my head so fast in my entire life, but only after I had done so did I realize that there was nothing wrong with what he had just told me. All this time, the three of them didn't know it was Baldi that I was having troubles with. They all thought that it was just "a friend of mine", like I had told them, so it would be understandable if they suggested confessing to him. Still, the thought of me confessing to Baldi himself, it was something surreal, not what one could easily imagine. And I had yet to confirm how I felt toward him, so it was still too early to consider the other possibilities.

"No, I don't think he likes me." I waved my hand in the air. "He told me he was just worried that I'd end up with a bad guy-"

"That's the biggest lie I've ever heard." This time it didn't come from Jesse or Hannah, but from Allen himself, which was surprising to us girls. "Even if he's worried, he'll just tell you to stay away from that guy at most, not get mad at you. He was just trying to find an excuse to explain his anger."

Something clicked in my mind.

"Wow, _spot on._ " Jesse emphasized each word in amazement. "I'm impressed you thought of that."

At that point, I had gone too deep into my own thoughts to hear what they were saying afterward. A part of me was literally yelling at me to ignore that ridiculous claim, but the other part said otherwise. What Allen just said… actually made sense - what if the whole "afraid that I'd be taken advantage of" thing from Baldi was actually just something to cover up his feelings? Of course, it didn't mean that it was unreasonable of him to worry for me, but what if there was something more to it? Millions of "what if" scenarios popped up in my head, causing me to forget to consider the consequences that might follow. Baldi said that he was just worried that bad guys might take advantage of me, so surely he wouldn't mind if I was with someone that he knew was trustworthy, would he?

The moment I started to try to figure out how to test that theory, I wasn't aware that I had dug a grave for myself.

"Baldi, I'll be coming home a bit late next Monday, so don't wait for me, okay?"

Baldi, who was on his way to his office, stopped in his track, though on his face was a rather calm expression right now. Hopefully it'll stay like that after this conversation was over. I still couldn't understand why I kept doing this to myself. Come on April, the last thing you should do now was testing his patience. But the other part of me couldn't help getting curious and wanting to make everything clear. Baldi obviously didn't have any feelings for me, so there was nothing I should be afraid of, was there? After all this, I would be able to confirm that he wasn't romantically interested in me, which would ease my mind, helping me forget about this whole thing and move on with my life.

"Why would you be home late?" He raised an eyebrow at me, and I tried to stay as calm as possible. Being nervous would definitely make me look suspicious.

"I'm going to study with Max at his house."

Baldi narrowed his eyes a little. "What for?"

I was aware of that fact that I was starting to sweat because of the increasing pressure, but I was still strong enough to keep going. Come on April, he just asked because he was curious, not because he was thinking of stopping you, so there was absolutely no need to fret. "We, uh, are having a Physics test next week, so I need his help."

As expected, silence passed through us as Baldi crossed his arms, seemingly thinking of something. What he was pondering, I did not know, but what he said next was a bolt from the blue for me.

"No, you can't go to his house."

"H- Huh?" I asked with wide eyes, not bothering to hide how stunned I was. "W- Why?"

He averted his gaze and stayed silent, which was very surprising to me. Was it because he was having a hard time coming up with an answer for me? But why would he have a hard time? I actually found it very strange that he couldn't reply right away. Surely, he had a reason in his head already. Was it a reason he couldn't say out loud? But if there was, what could it be? What could possibly make him feel unsafe about me being with _Max,_ out of all the people he should worry about? These unanswered questions kept on popping up in my head, and soon the confusion escalated into frustration, making my voice almost sounded like a scream as I spoke up without waiting for his reply.

"Baldi!" My loud tone seemed to snap him out of his thoughts, though what he was pondering was out of my knowledge. "If you're worried that he'll try to do something bad to me, then I appreciate your concerns, but this is _Max_ we're talking about. Even if he's annoying to you, you still know that he's a good guy, don't you?"

"April-" He looked like he was struggling to speak. "But-"

"Max's a good friend of mine. You do know that, right?" My voice had turned a little softer, though the exasperation could still be found in it. However, that wasn't my concern at the moment. I didn't like raising my voice like this, especially at Baldi, but this was too much for me to handle right now. I didn't just need an explanation – I _demanded_ one. Like I've said, I was aware of how he was worried for my safety, but this had gone too far. If he wouldn't even allow me to go with a person as reliable as Max, then who was alright to be with at this point?

"April, I-"

I stayed silent to let him finish his sentence, but he kept cutting himself off, seemingly unable to explain his overprotectiveness, before groaning into his hand. Sighing, I tried to stay calm as I spoke again.

"Baldi…" I said, my eyes looking straight into his. "I can cancel it with Max if you want, but please tell me why you don't want me to go to his house. Is it because you're worried that someone will hurt me on my way there, or-"

"No, April, you…" It was only then that he was able to talk clearly again, not just gibberish like a few minutes before. However, his voice sounded very hesitant, and frustration could be seen on his face. "You don't understand… I- I can't say it…"

"Baldi, it's okay, you can say it to me."

"No, April, I… I…"

I proceeded to approach him and was about to take his hands into mine, thinking that by doing so, I could somehow ease his mind and help him say it more easily. But before I could move a single muscle, his words came out, making me stop in my track.

"I can't feel at ease when you're too close to other boys."

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. My hands were shaking as I made every effort to speak.

"W- What do you mean, Baldi?"

There was no way he meant what I thought he meant, right?

His eyes were glued to the floor and his voice was barely audible, yet every word hit me hard as soon as it reached my ear.

"I- I like you, April, but- but more than a friend…"

A smile crept up my face, but I could feel that it was extremely forced, and my chuckle sounded exactly like it belonged to someone who was in utter denial. "D- Does that mean y- you like me a- as a sister? If so, then that's very sweet-"

" _No._ "

In a matter of second, I had been pushed to the wall behind me, giving me no time to react at all. The next thing I knew was that a pair of crimson eyes was staring into my own, gleaming in a dark light. When I tried to move, I discovered that my wrists were pinned in place by his strong hands. His grip felt so forceful and tight that it seemed like he was afraid that I would disappear as soon as he loosened his hands. I was trapped. I should be struggling. I should be shouting at him and telling him to let me go, but I found myself incapable of doing anything. All I could do was staring back at those red bright eyes with my body slightly quivering.

"April, I like you even more than that." His voice was nearly a low growl. "I have _feelings_ for you. I can't explain those feelings, but they make me uncomfortable whenever I see you smiling at other boys. They make me afraid of losing you so much that I've been hesitant to let you stay close to other guys. I know that one day, you'd choose someone other than me. I don't want that day to come and even I can't understand why-"

The moment he cut himself off, his eyes lost its red shade and slowly returned to their original dark color, telling me that he had snapped out of it. Having realized that he had pinned me to the wall, he quickly released my hand as he panicked, his face turning pale in the process.

"A- April, I'm sorry, I- I-"

My heart wanted me to stay there to listen to what he had to say, but my mind had already told my body to move. I ended up running to my room and slammed the door behind me.


	21. The Truth I Seek

_April, I like you even more than that._

_I have_ _feelings_ _for you. I can't explain those feelings, but they make me uncomfortable whenever I see you smiling at other boys-_

" _Argh!_ "

I groaned loudly in frustration as I slammed a pillow against my face, yelling gibberish into it as I turned side to side on my bed. Never had I been so haunted by something that I lost sleep because of it. Yet, here I was, unable to get a wink of sleep because of Baldi's words. And worse than that, the moment I just woke up from my slumber, I was _immediately_ reminded of them. I had tried to get back to sleep, but I wasn't able to. I had tried browsing through social media on my phone, but I couldn't focus on anything. I had tried every way possible to occupy myself, but nothing worked. All my effort was in vain. There was nothing I could do to get them out of my head, so I had no choice but to endure them.

The sun had risen high in the sky, so I glanced over the digital clock on my nightstand and found out that it was nine in the morning. Thank goodness that today was Saturday. I really didn't have any strength to go to school now. I would rather miss class than go to school in this state.

_They make me afraid of losing you so much that I've been hesitant to let you stay close to other guys._

Baldi's words rang in my mind once more, but instead of getting frustrated and messing up my bed, I just lay still and sighed exasperatedly.

I got what I wanted yesterday – I finally knew the true reason Baldi had been so overprotective, but little did I know that it created more unsolved questions, instead of ending things like I had expected. I wished I hadn't run away last night. I probably should have stayed and listened to what he had to say, because if I had done so, maybe we could have talked it through.

However, the more I thought about it, the more puzzling this whole thing got. What was the _actual_ solution to this? This wasn't a Math problem that had the correct answer set in stone. This was ten times more complicated than any Math problem I had come across, and in fact, I wasn't sure if this situation had a solution to it. What could we do to move on with our life without feeling the uncomfortable air engulfing us whenever we're around each other? Pretend that this never happened? _Accept his feelings?_ I was certain that the second option wasn't the answer here, as I had yet to decide how I felt about Baldi. Who was he in my eyes? Was he a friend or something more?

That wasn't important right now. I should probably get over my fear and talk it through with him. Yeah, it would be awkward as hell, but it would better than avoiding each other and making things more complicated – not that it would be possible to avoid him when we were literally living under the _same_ roof. Besides, the more I left this unsolved, the more difficult it would be to bring it up. It was best to get this done with as soon as possible.

Having made that decision, I sat up and got out of bed right away. Today was weekend, so Baldi was probably in the dining room like usual.

… Okay, maybe not.

To my surprise, there was no sight of him in the dining room or in the kitchen. He wasn't in the living room either, so I suspected that he was either still sleeping or in his office working, though I really doubted that he was sleeping – he was an early bird, unlike me, and I could never understand _how_ in the _world_ he could always wake up before eight a.m, even if there was no reason for him to wake up early that day. This meant the only place he could be at right now was his office.

But still, I found it rather strange. Throughout the time I had lived with him, he had never worked right after breakfast. Usually, whenever I walked into the dining room on weekend morning, I would always see him sitting there at the table, checking his phone or reading a book, and he wouldn't start working until at least ten a.m or so – he still had to enjoy his weekend morning somehow. Another thing that struck me as odd was that there was no food on the table. It wasn't as if I was a princess who demanded that breakfast be ready when she woke up, but on days I decided to sleep in, Baldi would make breakfast for me and sit there, waiting for me to come downstairs. Perhaps this situation made him feel so embarrassed that he tried to finish breakfast before I woke up and hid himself in his office. If so, then I had another reason to regret running away last night.

But really, all that was in my mind at that moment was "run". This was… so surreal, so impossible that I couldn't wrap my head around it. Never had I imagined a scenario where Baldi confessed that he had romantic feelings for me, a mere teenage girl who was just his childhood friend, nothing more. Yet, here he was, pouring his heart out to me and admitted that he didn't want to let boys come close to me because he was afraid I would choose them over him. I pinched my cheek to check whether this was a dream, and turned out that it wasn't. But if this was real and Baldi actually had feelings for me, then when _exactly_ did he start developing those feelings?

Speaking of which, maybe I should think about my own feelings too, because I would have to either accept or reject his confession when we talked face-to-face. There should be no "in-between" or "I don't know" answer. I must be clear and straightforward.

To start off, Jesse said in order to check whether I really liked him romantically, I should ask myself if I always tried to find opportunities to be near him.

And the answer was… I _did?_

Ever since I became close to him, I had always enjoyed spending time with him. Having found out his nice and friendly side, I wasn't afraid to be near him, and in fact, I… looked forward to more. Every time I had to leave, I got a little upset, as it was pretty difficult to have a private meeting with him. Now that I was living with him, there was no need to worry about it anymore. I got to see him as long as we were both at home. I enjoyed sitting next to him as we watched a movie together. I liked surprising him with a hug from the back, as well as midnight snacks when he stayed up late to work. I loved taking care of him and doing the best I could to make sure that he was living happily and healthily.

Did that mean that I like him?

No, no, that wasn't it. That was just how friends and siblings showed their support for each other. That couldn't be romantic feelings, but a part of me wasn't convinced yet, so I tried to find something else to confirm it. Let's see… Jesse did say I should also imagine him being close to other girls and see if I got jealous.

I was about to do so before I realized I didn't actually need to imagine – he was surrounded by girls all the time, so I just needed to recall the time I caught a girl flirting with him about, what, just four days ago?

…

Nah, no jealousy detected-

_Get away from him._

Startled by the words ringing in my mind, I jumped. At first, I thought it was just my imagination acting up, but after calming down, I remembered something – that was actually what I had thought when I was watching how that girl was clinging onto Baldi and giving him bedroom eyes, despite how much he was trying to ignore her and tell her it was inappropriate. I could also remember how hard I was clutching the notebooks in my hand while trying to suppress the urge to just walk between them, push that girl aside and pull Baldi away.

No, that couldn't be it. That wasn't jealousy. That was just me getting angry that other girls were crossing his boundaries-

_Hurry up, damn it._

Another thought crossed my mind, and I was brought back to a day three weeks ago, when a different girl walked up to Baldi to ask him some questions about that day's lesson. Most of the time, when I didn't have anything to ask Baldi, I would just head out of the classroom, but I somehow had a bad feeling about this girl in particular, so I purposely walked as slowly as possible to observe her behaviors. Even though she wasn't invading his boundaries like the previous girl was doing, she definitely didn't look like someone who merely had questions about the lesson. There was something flirtatious about the way she tried to touch his hand, as well as how she constantly tried to make eye contact with him. And the way she smiled and giggled, there was nothing innocent or cute about it, despite how much she tried to make it seem so. After a long while, I finally realized she was actually trying to attract his attention by acting like a good student who was interested in the lesson, and I somehow had the fear that she might really succeed I was afraid that he would fall for her tricks and became interested in her. That was when I started to get uneasy, internally urging her to hurry up and becoming frustrated when she showed no sign that she was done talking to him.

And just like that, memories of similar situations flooded back to me…

_Get your hands off him._

_Keep your distance from him._

_Don't you dare try to hold his hand._

… and everything seemed to be going against me. Nothing could help me prove that I wasn't romantically interested in him.

Did that mean I liked him more than a friend?

Okay, I really needed to stop thinking about this. The more I pondered it, the more I would find new things to question.

However, the other part of me had other plans. It didn't want to leave things at that and was determined to make me admit I had feelings for him. Sighing, I tried brush it off – though it was very difficult – and looked for ingredients to make pancakes, starting with the flour. Baldi must have eaten, so I probably didn't need to make anything for him. And speaking of Baldi, even though I had yet to be convinced that he was in his office, I made up my mind to believe it for now. Where else could he be? He could only in his office, right?

Right?

…

After three whole hours, I confirmed that the answer was a big "no".

The whole morning, I had cleaned the house, played games and cooked lunch, and Baldi had yet to be seen. We always had lunch together at twelve, and when I glanced at the clock on the wall, I found out I had been sitting at the dining table for more than half an hour just to wait for Baldi to come down to eat. Having lost my patience, I sat up from the chair and walked upstairs, not wasting a single second to head to his office. I understood that it wasn't easy to face the one you're interested in after a confession that had gone wrong, but he wasn't seriously going to skip meals because of it, was he? He did know it was impossible to avoid me or wait for me to leave the house, right?

Standing in front of his office, I took in a deep breath, gathering my courage before knocking on the door.

"Baldi, lunch's ready."

I waited for a few seconds but received no response.

"Baldi, lunch's ready."

No response once more.

"Baldi," I called again, this time in a rather impatient way. "If you're too busy, I can bring your food to you, if you want."

When I received no answer yet again, I began to get worried. Was he so afraid of facing me that he didn't dare reply? Why was he so quiet in there?

_I'm sorry, Baldi._

I internally apologized to him as I gripped the doorknob and opened it slightly. Taking in another deep breath, I then looked inside to see that… there was no one. His room hadn't changed one bit and his stuff was still neatly placed at where they belonged, yet he was nowhere in sight.

"Baldi?"

Something hit my mind, and in one swift turn, I rushed to his bedroom and swung the door open, not bothering to knock anymore. To my dismay, he wasn't in his room either. That was when I started finding every way possible to confirm that he had gone out somewhere and would surely be back at a certain time. I checked my text messages. I returned to my room and messed it up, not caring if I would have to spend entire day reorganizing it afterward. I checked the fridge, the couch, the TV, his desk… literally everywhere possible to try to find any note that he might have left behind for me. I was panicking and my body was tired from running all over the house, yet I was still unable to find a single clue, so I grabbed my phone and tried calling him. This was my last chance to find out where on earth he was.

I dialed. No one picked up.

I dialed again. No one picked up.

I dialed again. No one picked up.

I dialed again… and again… and again… and no one picked up.

After the umpteenth time, I let my phone drop from my hand and onto the couch. It was now nine in the evening and the food I had prepared for lunch had gone cold, completely untouched. Having no appetite, I just ate a very poorly made sandwich, both for lunch and dinner, before idling around and wondering about Baldi's whereabouts. I had no energy to do anything at all, I didn't even have any desire to play games or watch TV. I felt helpless. I had waited a whole day and got no calls, no messages from him, nothing to confirm that he would return. I didn't mind him going somewhere for a day, a week or even a month, but I just needed something, _anything_ at all, to let me know he was safe and sound.

"You're worrying me, Baldi. Where are you?"

I began talking to myself. I must look like an insane person, but it was better than trying to deal with the scary silence in the house right now. I feared that if I didn't do so, I might actually go crazy.

"Baldi, if you're too scared to talk to me, at least leave me a note or something. Don't just disappear like this."

"This is your house. You're seriously not going to abandon it just because of this, right?"

"Please… come back. I'm sorry I ran away last night."

"Please don't get the impression that I'm pushing you away. You're not going out with another girl to get over me, are you?"

"On second thought, I won't blame you if you're doing so. You must've felt rejected because I ran away. I understand."

"You can do whatever you want. You can date whoever you want. Who am I to stop you?"

"You deserve someone who will give you a clear answer right from the beginning, not someone who keeps denying their feelings for you, like me."

I would have tried to protest and convinced myself that the last part wasn't true, just like what I had been doing this morning, but I was too exhausted to do so, both physically and mentally. I no longer had any strength to keep arguing with myself and refusing to accept the truth. The answer had been there the whole time, yet I had been avoiding it until now.

I had developed feelings for him since a long time ago. Exactly how long, I would never know. But I did know that it was long enough for me to be afraid of losing him.

"Baldi, I'm such a silly girl, aren't I? I only admit my feelings now. If I'd been honest last night, this wouldn't have happened. I messed up bad, I know."

"There are so many girls out there who are brave, straightforward and worthy of your feelings, why did you choose me?"

"I'm nothing special. Why me, out of all the amazing women you could've chosen?"

"I'm serious, Baldi. You can literally make any woman fall for you. Look at all the girls at school who are crazy about you. Maybe I'm scared of seeing you with them because I know they have all the amazing qualities that make them the better choice. They're beautiful. They're smart. They're talented. They're all wonderful girls. And then look at me. I'm just a plain, troublesome teenager. Why me, Baldi? Why?"

"I beg you, Baldi. Come back and explain everything to me. My head hurts."

"Hey, now that I think about it, what if I'm just hallucinating? What if this is just a _sick_ joke my mind invented to force me to admit my feelings for you? If that's actually true, then that will explain why you chose me. That's right – it's simply impossible."

I went on rambling, talking to the gloomy atmosphere surrounding me before falling asleep, too weary to keep my eyes open for any longer.

* * *

"April…"

A voice pulled me out of my slumber, eliciting a mumble from me.

"Hmm?"

"April, wake up."

"Why…?" I groaned tiredly, still not yet awake. "Baldi hasn't come back yet, so if I wake up, I'll continue to struggle with my feelings. I'd rather sleep until he's back."

"April, it's me, Baldi. I'm home."

"Oh, you're home. That's good-"

As if I hadn't just woken up literally five seconds ago, my eyes shot open and I sat up in one swift movement. I looked to the side and there Baldi was, staring at me with wide eyes.

I should be happy. I should greet him with a bright smile and a tight hug. But instead, I was outraged.

" _BALDI!_ " I shouted at the top of my lungs as I gripped his shoulders. "Where have you been? Why didn't you answer my calls? _Do you know how worried I am-_ "

"April, calm down! Calm down…"

He held my arm tightly as his other hand patted my back, his warmth spreading all over my body and made my heartbeat slow down to its original pace. I breathed in, breathed out until my body wasn't shaking anymore.

"I'm sorry, I'm just…" My voice was quiet as I spoke. "I- I've been so worried for you. _Where_ have you _been?_ "

He averted his gaze, not daring to make eye contact. "I… I was too afraid to face you yesterday, so I spent the whole day outside the house. I stayed at school to work for as long as I could and stayed at a hotel for the night."

"Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I was frightened the night before yesterday, so I forgot to charge my phone. By the time I realized that, my phone was already dead." He paused for a few seconds before continuing. "I'm so sorry, April. It's just that… I thought you hated me, so I was scared to come home. I- I didn't know I made you so worried."

We both fell silent as an uncomfortable silence began to engulf us. I wanted to break it, but something was stuck in my throat. I found myself struggling to talk as emotions rushed through me. While I was relieved to know that he was okay, I was extremely upset over the fact that he just suddenly vanished without letting me know where he was. But I was to blame as well – if I hadn't run away, he wouldn't have thought that I hated him. I took in a deep breath before I mustered out.

"Idiot…"

He looked up from the ground to look at me.

"Baldi… You're an idiot… I won't blame you for feeling afraid, but you didn't need to scare me by disappear without a single word like that. And how- how can I ever hate you? H- How can this m- make me hate you?"

Tears were starting to form at the corner of my eyes, so I tried to hold them in as much as possible. Even though it was very difficult, I couldn't cry now, not yet. I needed to say it, or else I would regret it for the rest of my life. Biting my lips, I forced the words out of my mouth.

"I don't hate you. I- _I like you!_ _I like you too, Baldi!"_

I was too afraid to look at him, but I could feel his gaze on me. In fact, I could _feel_ him widening his eyes.

"I- I've been denying my feelings for you for such a long time, so when you told me you like me more than a friend, I- I couldn't think straight. The idea of us together, it's… it's just not something I'd dare to imagine…"

My eyes were still glued to the floor as I felt my face burning up, my heartbeat increasing as each second went by. But before long, a hand was placed on my cheek, making me turn back to see Baldi's beautiful dark eyes staring into mine.

"Are you being honest, April?"

Seeing the gleam in his eyes, I couldn't help smiling as I nodded, taking his hand into mine. "Yes, I am, Baldi. I'm not saying it just to be done with this. I truly have feelings for you."

A blissful smile bloomed on his lips before he pulled me into a warm embrace.

"I'm… I'm so glad to hear that, April." His voice was almost a whisper as he wrapped his arms around me. "No word can describe how happy I am right now."

My stunned expression was soon replaced by another smile as I returned the hug, pulling him close to me.

"I'm happy too, Baldi."


	22. Confessions under the Night Sky

"This feels… _weird._ "

I said with my face as red as a cherry and my heart beating fast in my chest, so fast that I felt like it could bounce out of my chest at any second.

"I-If you're uncomfortable, w-we can continue to s-sleep separately if you want to—"

"No, that's—" I protested. "That's n-not what I mean. It feels a little weird, but, but I'm, I'm fine with it."

Baldi fell silent for a brief moment before letting out a sigh of relief, wrapping his arm around me to pull me closer. We lay there on his bed quietly, none of us uttering a single word as we both enjoyed the quietness of the night.

This was our first night sleeping next to each other after such a long time sleeping on different beds in different rooms, and the one who initiated it was Baldi himself. The moment he suggested that I sleep on his bed with him, he looked so bashful that it was cute in a way, and I couldn't help agreeing to it. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous like him. Although we had officially become a couple, the idea of us dating was still quite foreign, but I was willing to embrace this new change in our relationship and start doing things couples do, including sleeping in the same bed. Just like I had expected, it was a strange feeling, but it felt nice in a way. I could feel his warmth spreading throughout my body and the way his chest moved every time he breathed.

Even though I didn't want to ruin the comfortable atmosphere around us, there were still so many unanswered questions in my head that I felt the need to do it. Otherwise, my mind wouldn't be at ease. The longer I left those questions unsolved, the more they would continue to bother me.

"Hey, Baldi…"

"Hmm?" he replied with a small voice, still keeping his arm around me.

"I've been meaning to ask you something, but I, I don't know if I should…" I hesitantly said as I slightly glanced up at him.

"It's okay, April." He gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't be afraid to ask me anything. As a couple, we should make sure there's no doubt between us, shouldn't we?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I chuckled before inhaling. "I… I want to ask you why you ch-chose me…"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What do you mean?"

"A lot of girls are heads over heals for you, yet you chose me." I quietly spoke, looking down at the blanket covering our bodies. "They're beautiful, talented and amazing, while I'm just an ordinary girl. I, I have nothing special…"

I wasn't looking at him—I was too afraid to—but I could still feel his gaze on me, a very thoughtful and sad one. Another sigh left his lips before he slowly pulled me into a tight embrace, his fingers running through my hair as he spoke.

"April, don't talk about yourself like that. It hurts me, you know." His voice was so small that it almost sounded like a whisper. "To me, you _are_ special. You're the most beautiful and amazing girl I've ever had the honor to be with."

My cheeks burned up once more as my heart increased its speed. I lay there silently, letting him continue.

"You're right, there are many girls who want me, but I feel nothing towards them. I don't want a relationship with someone I don't genuinely have feelings for. I chose you because I feel a special connection with you, a connection I've never felt with anyone else besides you."

Baldi paused for a few seconds before he continued, his hands gripping me more tightly like he was afraid I would disappear as soon as he let go of me.

"Maybe that's why I was so scared when I saw the love letter Austin gave you."

My eyes widened, and I looked at him in surprise. "Y-You saw it? But, but he put it in my locker!"

"Actually, that wasn't the first letter he sent you. Before that, he put one in your desk." He took in a deep breath, seemingly as a mean to calm himself down. "That day, I sensed that something was in your desk, but I thought it was something you accidentally left behind, so I decided to check it. When I saw that it was a love letter for you, my blood boiled, but I couldn't understand why. I'd always thought I saw you as my sister, so I didn't know what made me so mad."

Was that the day I saw him gripping a piece of paper with that dark look on his face?

"Do you remember the day Austin told you to meet him at the back of the school?" Baldi asked and went on after I gave him a nod. "I was able to come in time because I'd been keeping an eye on him. I told myself I was angry because Austin's a bad guy and might try to hurt you, but as time went by, I realized it wasn't the case. Even if I knew the boy you were talking to is nice, I couldn't help feeling uneasy. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I mean, if I only see you as a friend and sister, I should have no problem letting you be with any guy as long as you feel comfortable with him, right? But no, every time I saw you talking happily to a boy, I had to suppress the urge to pull you away from him.

"If that wasn't enough, I started to realize something—you're not little anymore, you're old enough to make decisions for yourself. You'll grow up, meet new people and have an independent life of your own. And then, you'll eventually fall in love with someone and choose that person over me. This might sound selfish, but I didn't want it to happen. I didn't want anyone to have you. That was when I realized I, I'd unknowingly developed feelings for you, and maybe that was also when I started to become more protective of you. I was scared to see you with other boys because I was afraid they'd take you away from me. I was scared to lose you, because if that ever happened, I... I don't think I'd be able to find another person like you, someone I truly felt a special connection with."

Baldi paused again before letting out a sigh, and it sounded like it was out of disappointment and disbelief. "To be honest, that was _horrible_ of me, keeping you away from boys for no reason like that—well, technically, there _was_ a reason, but not a rational one. I must've looked like a possessive man, right? I'm very sorry."

"No, Baldi, it's, it's okay…" I looked into his eyes as I spoke, my hand reaching up to hold his cheek. "I, I've done the same. Whenever I saw other girls flirting with you, I couldn't help feeling jealous and frustrated."

"We're the same then." He let out a little laugh, reaching up his hand to touch mine. "Still, I'm sorry for being overprotective of you. I won't do that again, I promise."

"I know you won't do it," I smirked mischievously at him, "because I'm yours now."

"That's true." He said as we broke the hug, though we're still cuddling close to each other. "I don't have to worry about you receiving love letters from others again, because I know you won't accept their confession."

"Oh, uh, speaking of love letters…" I said as he raised an eyebrow, probably wondering why I looked so nervous. "Th-The second letter, the one th-that's not from Austin, i-is a f-fake one…"

We had a staring competition that lasted for an eternity before he spoke again.

"' _Fake'?_ "

"Y-You see…" I laughed anxiously. "I-I was c-confused about wh-why you were so o-overprotective, so I decided to ask my friends about it—d-don't worry, I didn't say it was you. So, uh, a-anyway, o-one of them s-suggested writing a fake l-letter to see how y-you'd react to it. A-And also, um, I actually d-didn't have a study s-session with Max next week. I just, uh, wanted to check the r-real reason you were o-overprotective of me…"

After I was done rambling, he gave another long stare, which I tried to avoid as I started sweating bullets. Ever since we started dating, which was literally this morning, I had felt the need to tell him about this. It was probably because I would feel guilty if I kept this hidden from him, but at the same time, I was scared. Would he be mad if he knew I was testing him?

While I was still fearing for my life, I heard a snort from Baldi, but it wasn't out of anger. It instead sounded like it was out of… amusement?

"You little rogue." He let out a laugh as he rubbed my head. "Testing the infamous Math teacher of your school like that, didn't you feel scared?"

"I'm, I'm sorry. I was curious, s-so I, I thought it was a good idea…" My words were very rushed, probably because I was too ashamed to admit it, but then he gave me a kind smile that made all my worries vanish away.

"Why are you apologizing? I'm not blaming you or anything." He chuckled. "In fact, I… I'm glad you did it. Otherwise, I don't know if I'd have the courage to confess to you."

"Is it because you were afraid you'd ruin our friendship?"

He let out a sigh. "Yes, that. And also, I didn't want to scare you off. I mean, I know you're used to me by now, but being friends and being a couple are two different things. I was scared that you'd think I was weird, creepy even—"

"No, Baldi, I—" I said loudly and propped myself up with my elbow, which seemed to startle him. "I, I wouldn't think of you like that. I would never! I-Is there anything I've done that causes you to think like that?"

"No, April, you've done nothing wrong." he smiled again before holding the back of my head and gently pulled me down so that he could give me a kiss on the forehead. "Well, besides stealing my heart, of course."

"I'm serious, Baldi." I said that, but leaving my mouth was a chuckle as he patted my head. "If I ever do something that makes you think I don't like you or so, just tell me and I'll stop."

"Okay, but please, believe me when I say you've done nothing wrong."

"Alright, I trust you." I smiled as I lay my head down onto the pillow once more, snuggling up to him. "Say, we do have to be up early tomorrow, don't we?"

"Yeah, tomorrow's Monday." He glanced over the digital clock on his nightstand, and I followed suit to see that it was eleven in the evening. "We'd better get some sleep, or else we won't be able to wake up tomorrow."

"Okay, goodnight, Baldi."

"Goodnight, April."

He gave me another kiss on the forehead before both of us slowly fell asleep, falling into a deep slumber.


End file.
